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I relaxed yesterday and I feel bad about it :(

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longhairlover

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I just finished my 31 week stretch, and I have about 3 inches of new growth, to me that's mediocre growth :sad: and I thought i'd have waaaay more length than an extra 3 inches :wallbash:. but since my last perm in Aug 08 I really didn't get serious about growing my hair until the ending of last winter so I guess the 3 inches is on me.

I really looks no different than when I was stretching because my stretch process gives me the "freshly relaxed look" :( i'm a tad bit upset about that too, it's just more manageable now, I really feel bad, I wasnt' really trying to go natural but I just wanted to stretch longer but this past weekend I was out shopping and my hair was just a frizzy poofy mess, so poofy that you could see the new growth waves lol!!!!!

I just had to vent about this, my hair looks nice and of course it's lighter and will take less time to wash once or twice a week but for some reason I feel like a sell out lol!!!!
 
I'm sorry you feel this way..hopefully your feeling while change and you will enjoy ease of washing and styling it for now
 
I felt exactly the same way, although my stretch was only 14 weeks :o a bit rubbish compared to yours, and I could have easily gone on longer. I hate the way my freshly relaxed hair feels. I prefer when I'm several weeks post as I have much more movement and body.

31 weeks is still an excellent achievement, and I'm sure with the 3 inches you probably would have gotten more thickness as well, which is a major plus as far as I'm concerned.

Don't be so down on yourself. :)
 
I didn't want to perm, and I've kind of been thinking about going natural, but I just can't deal with all of my hair in a natural state it's stressful.

So I feel like since i've given in and relaxed that i've sold out to Optimum anti-breakage lol!!!! :lachen: instead of sticking it through and possibly transitioning or stretching for longer.


umm... I'm sorry but I'm confused. Why do you feel like a sell out?
 
Could you have tried texlaxed instead? I love the versitility(sp)I get the thickness I want and I can wear it straight sometimes are WnG, which i have not done yet. I still have about 3 inches and staight perm left.

I didn't want to perm, and I've kind of been thinking about going natural, but I just can't deal with all of my hair in a natural state it's stressful.

So I feel like since i've given in and relaxed that i've sold out to Optimum anti-breakage lol!!!! :lachen: instead of sticking it through and possibly transitioning or stretching for longer.
 
3 inches in 31 weeks is about right, if your hair grows 1/2 per month (31 weeks = 7.75 months, 7.75 * .5 inch = 3.875 inches). So you had average hair growth. :) Nothing wrong with that, at least you were able to retain it.

If you were wearing your hair mostly straightened during your stretch, then of course you wouldn't see that much of a difference after your touchup.

Try taking progress pics next time, at the start of your stretch and at the end. That way you can gauge how much your hair actually grew during that time with photos.

Don't feel bad about relaxing, 31 weeks is a long time!
 
thank you, normally I run to relax after a stretch but this time around I did it because of the bad weather and humidity that were facing here in nj/nyc. it looks thinner when I relax, my hair is really thick so I do need it to be a bit thinner looking, I guess i'll start another stretch around Aug again of this year. i'm trying to get back to full apl and bsl, I guess i'm apl, i'll post some pics tonight if I can find my camera charger.

One time I relaxed for almost a year but I forgot how I did that stretch, I know I used fructise sleek and shine, but it started to make me break out, I guess being able to stretch for any amount of time is an accomplishment because i've met females that would never attempt to stretch for even a 1 week.


I felt exactly the same way, although my stretch was only 14 weeks :o a bit rubbish compared to yours, and I could have easily gone on longer. I hate the way my freshly relaxed hair feels. I prefer when I'm several weeks post as I have much more movement and body.

31 weeks is still an excellent achievement, and I'm sure with the 3 inches you probably would have gotten more thickness as well, which is a major plus as far as I'm concerned.

Don't be so down on yourself. :)
 
I didn't want to perm, and I've kind of been thinking about going natural, but I just can't deal with all of my hair in a natural state it's stressful.

So I feel like since i've given in and relaxed that i've sold out to Optimum anti-breakage lol!!!! :lachen: instead of sticking it through and possibly transitioning or stretching for longer.
OH i understand then. I broke my transition too but after 6 months though. I couldn't get the comb through my roots. Detangling took a life of its own. So i caved. I still plan on going natural but when I have more time to dedicate to it.

It's your hair, Hon! Do what you makes YOU happy. Life is too short.
 
I'm sorry you feel that way. However, 31 weeks is incredible. I know what you mean though. I was really upset with myself last year after a 14 week stretch. I felt like I failed my hair.
 
You should not feel bad about relaxing. The object is to have healthy hair. Period. Even if you want to transition to natural, you should still feel great. Learning to work with your hair and stretch to 31 weeks, is excellent. This time you may want to aim for 40 weeks. Then 52. Once you hit 52, then you know you crossed the hump and can start chopping as you continue to grow. Your hit a milestone and should be proud of yourself. :congrats:

I use Optimum too and have been on 12 week stretches for quite awhile. Since joining the boards, I have decided to try to stretch a little more. So my June touch-up is moving to July, and then I am going to try for Jan. I hope to maintain Jan and July going forward. If I thought I could go longer, believe me, I would try. :perplexed But right now, even making it to July will be a feat for me. :ohwell:

One step at a time Sis, one step at a time.
 
I didn't want to perm, and I've kind of been thinking about going natural, but I just can't deal with all of my hair in a natural state it's stressful.

So I feel like since i've given in and relaxed that i've sold out to Optimum anti-breakage lol!!!! :lachen: instead of sticking it through and possibly transitioning or stretching for longer.

Hi there! You shouldn't feel like a sell out. I'm sure your hair looks and feels lovely and you can always stretch longer or transition this time around. I know how you feel though because I always felt kinda bad when I got my hair relaxed and I cried when I got my last relaxer. I knew enough was enough. 31 weeks is something to be proud of. When you are ready you'll know for sure. Hang in there and post some pics. :grin:
 
yeah I guess any time stretched is good, I just had to do it, when I looked in the mirror at the store, even at the dentist that day people were looking at me weird lol!!! I was a hot mess, my hair does not like any humidity.


I'm sorry you feel that way. However, 31 weeks is incredible. I know what you mean though. I was really upset with myself last year after a 14 week stretch. I felt like I failed my hair.
 
I like optimum, I think for the summer i'll relax every 8 weeks or more if my hair does not frizz up. I can't stretch in the summer not unless I have braids like cornrows.

one step at a time like you said.


You should not feel bad about relaxing. The object is to have healthy hair. Period. Even if you want to transition to natural, you should still feel great. Learning to work with your hair and stretch to 31 weeks, is excellent. This time you may want to aim for 40 weeks. Then 52. Once you hit 52, then you know you crossed the hump and can start chopping as you continue to grow. Your hit a milestone and should be proud of yourself. :congrats:

I use Optimum too and have been on 12 week stretches for quite awhile. Since joining the boards, I have decided to try to stretch a little more. So my June touch-up is moving to July, and then I am going to try for Jan. I hope to maintain Jan and July going forward. If I thought I could go longer, believe me, I would try. :perplexed But right now, even making it to July will be a feat for me. :ohwell:

One step at a time Sis, one step at a time.
 
yeah I guess any time stretched is good, I just had to do it, when I looked in the mirror at the store, even at the dentist that day people were looking at me weird lol!!! I was a hot mess, my hair does not like any humidity.


maybe on days like that, you will know it is time to do something different...like get a sew-in, cornrows or braids. I am trying to transition now and I know that I also have those days. So I will challenge myself too that when I feel like that I will switch up the style to perk up my spirits.
 
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