I just can't do it anymore!

[Summer_Rain]

all i've ever wanted was healthy hair. i'm not terribly pressed about a certain length or texture - just overall health.

my hair grows fine & fast - but it gets to a certain length and BAM! it starts to fall out. It only falls out in the back though - and it always thins/sheds to the point of it looking darn near tapered/shaved. so i'm forced to go back to braids&weaves

so i thought i'd transition - worst case scenario, just grow out all the overprocessed relaxer and start from scratch. But i dont think i can do this anymore.

I can't deal with the 2 textures of my weave & natural hair. I'm not brave enough to NOT wear my weaves right now - i've got too much nursing to do before i'll wear it out again. and a total BC is out of the question.

I'm seriously considering relaxing again & still wearing sewn-in's until i obtain growth & at the very least, grow the back of my hair past its normal fall out point.

any advice, suggestions...i'm totally torn

 

[Lucia]

I know it's hard, but don't give up so fast.
Now I see you're transitioning and that's difficult by itself.
What is your hair washing routine like, do you pre-cond, oil, use a detangler?
do you mist/rinse or moisturize daily?
What kind of shampoos and conditioners are you using as staples, any of them new or contain SLS=soidum lauyl sulfates-dries hair out alot of times.
When your not wearing weaves or brraids what's you regular style?
Are you blowdrying your hair to match the 2 textures when your hair's not weaved up?
I know I'm getting all in your hair routine but we all need some more detailed info to help you out.

 

[Summer_Rain]

Lucia - i dont know the answer to any of those questions!! erplexed

i've been braided and/or weaved since january and dont know how to wash&condition effectively with the weaves.

i haven't worn my hair out since early january - when i do wash with my sewn ins - i try my best to blowdry the exposed parts - but its never straight enough to blend properly

i suck right now

 

[Lucia]

Lucia - i dont know the answer to any of those questions!! erplexed

i've been braided and/or weaved since january and dont know how to wash&condition effectively with the weaves.

i haven't worn my hair out since early january - when i do wash with my sewn ins - i try my best to blowdry the exposed parts - but its never straight enough to blend properly

i suck right now

YOu have to be very careful w.the blowfryer it can do more harm than good esp. that your hair is not out.
How are you covering the tracks, headbands or the fake bang thing?
Ok do you remember what shampoo, conds, you used right before you weaved up?
what do you use to moisturize now while your hair is braided/weaved up, like hair creme, water based spray, how are you moisturizing your real hair under the weave?
If you're still online are you able to get into the "chat" room we can figure this out faster. I'm in there now

 

[Shine-On]

Good Morning Summer Rain,

This hair thing is hard work especially when you've never had what you're trying to achieve before. You're literally learning and growing at the same time which can be extremely frustrating. I have fine hair also and after over ten years of using braids/weaves as a crutch to grow longer healthier hair, I've accepted that they are not for me. If they were working, then I would have healthy waist-length hair by now and unfortunately, that is not the case. Tension can make fine hair even finer and weaker. It won't be as noticeable when the hair is shorter but as it grows (like mine did) it will break. Many other influences work against fine hair including the added stress of blending your hair with the weave, irritation to the scalp from the pulling caused by combing the weft of hair attached to the cornrows, the thread causing knicks in your strands, dry hair from not being able to moisturize/strengthen the hair as thoroughly, thinning edges and the list goes on. I've seen people have success with extensions so I don't want to appear as a pessimist, this has just been my experience.

How frequently are your washing? How long are you keeping the style in?Maybe protein treatments in between styles may help. Or daily spritzing between your parts with a liquid moisturizer (Scurl?). These are suggestions to help you reach your hair health goals. As far as your styling concerns, what worked for me was finding a style that I loved that caused the least amount of damage. I went cold turkey on the extensions and am currently growing my hair from a short cut. When I started I hated the fact that my bangs were shorter than my eyebrows and considered adding two tracks to the front to create a swooping bang. There are nice styles out there for all lengths and textures that will make you feel just as beautiful as the extensions as you're growing your hair out.

If you choose to continue using the extensions, I suggest quick-weaves as they can be removed at any time.

Sorry for making you my journal, I hope I've helped you a little.

 

[nefertitiblack]

Don't be discouraged. At least you know what you don't what to do (go without a weave, BC, etc.) Are there any braided styles that you like? I think it may be easier to grow the hair out in individual braids than weaves. You could even grow 3 or 4 inches of ng, big chop, and put the braids back in. You probably know about this site: www.growafrohairlong.com, but in case you don't she has lot of great tips on growing hair in braids and weaves. Don't give up, your doing great just by asking the right questions.

 

[KiniKakes]

I like the idea of individual braids during this grow out period.... and you look wonderful with braids SR. That way you can avoid having to deal with the two textures and using excess heat to keep the natural hair matching the weave. Keeping that section of hair straight seems like such a fruitless, frustrating task in that Charlotte humidity.

 

[brownsugarflyygirl]

I was about to give up transitioning two months ago and going back to my relaxer...I was soo frustrated and felt that I had always had "pretty" and healthy hair using chemicals...why in the world did I put myself through going natural...I had my list of products that I was going to use to keep my relaxed hair healthy and everything ...BUT I started learning about my hair through books, web forums, and God really opened my heart and gave me a love for my nappy 4b texture .

Discontinuing the use heat was my biggest liberator! I realized that my hair is nappy and trying to make it straight would only damage it more...so now I wear textured styles and buns....and who cares if my edges are perfectly smooth or its a little puffy?! Its how God created my hair...

I would suggest getting wavy weaves where your natural hair can blend better instead of straight styles...but it seems to me that whether relaxed or natural or weaved...you truly just have to ACCEPT your hair for the way it is...until you do that it wont matter what state its in...you wont be TRULY happy...your HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL!! You just have to believe that...

Blessings on your hair journey...I would encourage you to not GIVE UP...my biggest hair victory and breakthrough came after I was almost DEFEATED and gave up...now I just celebrated 1 year of transitioning and couldnt be happier...YOU CAN DO IT!!

 

[Poohbear]

*~SummerRain~*

I struggled too when I was transitioning from relaxed to natural. Here's a short lil story...

When I was transitioning, I too was trying to maintain healthy-looking hair in the process as well as trying to retain length as well.... Well, I got over it because I knew that as more natural hair grew out, the more breakage that I was going to encounter where the natural hair and relaxed hair met. I did all types of hair styles... buns, braidouts, wigs, rollersets, blowdried straight... I just got fed up with my hair constantly breaking off and trying to find a decent hair style to wear. My hair is fine stranded too and my relaxed ends were thin and getting thinner...

So I decided to do the big chop.... it was a relieving experience!

I think those who transition for long periods of time (like hairlove and Peachtree and a few others) had thick relaxed hair and their hair would look nice when they were transitioning. For me, with fine/thin strands, I had to do the big chop...

What helped me was realizing these things as well...

1. Hair grows back after cutting it...
2. Once it's cut short, it;s not going to stay short forever...
3. My ultimate goal was to be completely natural so what was I waiting for?

Hope that helps!

*~Poohbear~*

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Girl you have two talents that most people pay for. You know how to braid and put in a weave. You can accomplish many natural styles or cover up yr natural hair w. a weave when you're bored. You do not suck. You just under-estimate your strengths. Don't give up!