I HAVE TO CUT MY HAIR!!!! ( kinda long..sorry)

[MRJ1972]

A Little Background......

September 2005- April 2007

NL hair...I wore sew in weaves, leaving the top, sides and nape area out in an attempt to grow out my hair..I washed and conditioned weekly with Kera Care or Design products...only DC when I removed the hair to get a new install...only relaxed tops, sides and nape area during this time, no leave-ins, creams, oils, etc...also had a lot of tangles when I removed the sew in and washed because the majority of my hair - the sewed in portion- was not being relaxed so the different textures were tough to deal with..


April 2007- May 2007

Decided to get micro braids because I was tired of weaves...My hair was APL at this time...The lady that put the micros in, made them REALLY, REALLY small...When it was time to remove them, I became frustrated because I could not determine where my hair ended, so I ended up brushing the braids out of my hair!!!erplexed BIG MISTAKE


May 2007-April 2008

Installed a new sew in to hide my EXTREMELY thin hair...same regimen..wash and condition, relax top, sides and nape, no DC until hair removed to get new install....2 different textures still causing tangles when entire sew in is removed....

April 2008

Removed sew in- relaxed entire head...now past BRA STRAP, but thinner than a sheet of paper!!!! Totally depressed and disgusted...Cut my hair to APL to make it appear thicker, still thin!!!


April 2008-February 2009

Installed sew in, same old regimen as above,...Feeling defeated, hair still thin, started searching the internet to find out how to thicken my hair, found and joined LHCF!!

March 2009

Relaxed entire head but didnt not install sew in.. hair is still THIN!!!!...Started wearing buns, either wet buns or roller set then bunned....Lots of shedding and very fragile hair especially when washing...Tried products for damaged hair....Used Aphoghee 2 min, Affirm 5 n 1, Affirm Sustenance, Some Garnier Length and Stength...Just started using JOICO k-pak 2 weeks ago...

MAY 2009

Went to a dominican salon to get roller set and roots blown out because I am going to an event and the lady told me that my hair is extremely weak..I confessed that I had been wearing sew ins for a while and she says " so THAT is why your hair is so thin?"...I ask her how much would she charge to do extensions and she said that my hair was too weak for extensions and blow outs and that I needed to cut off the thin ends and do weekly treatments- she mentioned garlic and some other spanish name.. I figured she was telling me the truth ( because she is known for her extensions, which are expensive 300.00 and up) and not just trying to cut my hair..It is only APL now but sooo thin and transparent, so i doubt that she is a HATER


Whart should I do????

I dont want short, THIN hair!!!!!....If I cut my hair, it still wont be as thick as I want it...But if I dont cut it, then what??? APL transparent hair, is not a cute look! I dont mind a cute bob cut...I know someone that cuts really cute and she said she would hook me up, but what if the bob is thin??? What do you guys suggest?? I will need to cut the back up to neck length at least because I have a patch of hair underneath the longer parts that is broken off at the nape and wont grow

I am really beginning to think that once the hair is damaged as bad as mine is, the only solution is to cut and start over....


UPDATE!!!!!!!

To everyone who responded, I really appreciate it!

I have decided to somewhat incorporate everyone's advice into my decision....

I plan to: Trim a LOT of hair from my ends, wear protective styles, find a strengthening regimen, and use clip ins when I want to wear my hair down for special occasions...I am still trying to determine if I should stretch my relaxers longer than 3 months since my hair is soo weak and thin...I may stop at 3 months for now and then extend the timeframe once my hair becomes strong again....

THANKS SO MUCH!!!!!

 

[manter26]

i would suggest cutting it. Its better to have a cute bob than apl hair that's a HAM. The stylist chose telling you the truth and protecting your hair rather than making a few bucks. She sounds trustworthy.

I did my 1st relaxer stretch after joining the site (about 15 weeks) and my hair was MUCH thicker afterward. Plan on stretching your relaxers and low manipulation to thicken and strengthen your hair. That said...if you plan on doing this, just get a good trim. Make sure you have enough hair to gather in a ponytail for buns.

 

[The Princess]

Well its up to you. If she stated that you could get the weekly treatments its worth the try if you don't want to cut right now. When you not getting the treatments keep your hair bunned. Read the boards you might be able to get thickness in your hair by using, MTG, MN and Ovation Cell Therapy. Others will chine in soon.

 

[SparkleDoll]

Maybe you should go natural and if you decide to relax again you will be starting with a clean slate.

But try to cut your hair first and see if it looks better.

 

[LynnieB]

So sorry you're going through this.

Have you thought about going natural?

It sounds like (going by the your descriptions) now would be a really good time to at least consider it. At least that way you can start fresh and give your hair and scalp a break for a while.

 

[IDareT'sHair]

I think maybe after she (or you) dust the ends and get everything to one length, it might not look so bad/thin. And then you can re-examine the products you are currently using and incorporate products to help to thicken hair. Are you taking any supplements at all? Drinking water and eating your fruits & veggies?

Of course, there are things on the market that can help increase thickness. I would start off by getting my hair evened up. And go from there.

Meanwhile, I would just let it Rest from all the sewing, braiding, heat, manipulation etc.....and if you are currently relaxing I would lengthen the time (stretch) between relaxer applications.

 

[Ladyhenri]

Is it possible to see pics of your hair now?


Based on your story, i'd say baby it at your current length and keep trimming till you hair fills out. That way, you're not loosing length, but you are seeing an increase in fullness.

 

[msa]

It sounds like to me you didn't really take care of your hair well underneath your sew-in's (and braids) and it just got more and more damaged.

You can't save the hair no matter what you do so it will have to be cut. You could cut it now, and have short hair and grow it out. Or you could bun your hair or do some other protective style while your hair is growing out and trim as you go.

Now that you're here I suggest you read read read, decide a regimen, and stick to it. Until you figure out what your hair needs, stop the relaxers. Once you get on a good regimen of DCing, moisturizing, and using protective styles you'll find that your new growth is much easier to deal with.

Buns or half wigs seem like they would be good protective styles for you. With the wigs, you could completely hide your hair but still be cute. Anyway, here are some links that may help you.

Helpful information provided by one of the Mods, Dontspeakdefeat.
Newcomer's guide to starting out:
http://journals.fotki.com/dontspeakdefeat/newcomer/

These articles are by Sistaslick, a member here, and a hair guru. You'll find many other links to her articles when you click on these, they're really great and will help you learn the "basics" about haircare pretty easily and quickly.
Regimen building basics for newbies:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/288340/hair_regimen_building_for_newbies.html

Selecting a moisturizing shampoo:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/313061/how_to_select_a_moisturizing_shampoo.html

selecting a moisturizing conditioner:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/313072/how_to_select_a_moisturizing_conditioner.html

protective styling for healthier hair:
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/289170/protective_styling_for_optimal_hair.html

 

[TrendySocialite]

I agree with most of what everyone has said here. I think the first thing you should do is stop with the weaves. You have sacrificed the health of your hair for style. Now you're going to have to do the reverse.

Honestly, I recommend roller wraps. Even the Dominican blowout is a bit harsh for hair so often. Weaves in and of themselves do not cause your hair to retain length (it may grow, but if it grows in weak, thin and uneven that defeats the purpose). You have to still treat your hair while it's braided up.

I'm on the fence about cutting. I see the value in it, but hate to recommend it. But if you do, get it cut in a cute, easy to maintain with rollersetting and protective styling so you still feel like you look good.

All is not lost, however it will take time for you to see significant change.

 

[tiffers]

Sorry you have to go through this
I'm usually anti-scissor, but in this case, I think it would benefit you to cut. And if it's too thin, you can add some clip-in pieces in the back

 

[mkd]

Personally, I would cut it, but that is just me. I don't like to hang on to damaged hair because when my ends are damaged, I cannot do anything with my hair. That being said, I think the other ladies have give you really good advice for what you can do if you don't want to cut it.

Hugs.

 

[MRJ1972]

THANKS to everyone for your advice!!!!

One thing I didnt mention is that the stylist suggested I get relaxer- currently 9 weeks post- but I didnt agree with that...I do believe that I should wear protective styles this far in my stretch with low manipulation...I had considered going natural, but that decision is still up in the air....I will more than likely get my hair cut and start over.....I have always did roller sets and wraps so that is not a problem...Just working on trying to thicken my hair now, since I have damaged it so bad....


My DD said that she would help me with photos...so I plan to post photos ( real soon )of my hair so that you guys are able to see the state of my hair!

 

[hothair]

I have to go with some of what the other ladies have said, maybe you should think about going natural, you don't have to cut if all off now, but maybe a deep trim and braid outs/ twistouts/ rollersets to give your hair some volume and help with transitioning, you already seem to have a good regimen with weekly DCs...

 

[*Muffin*]

Health before length. You may not want to cut it, but it ultimately has to be done if you want your hair to look thicker. You don't have to cut it all at once. You could nurse your hair back to health, let the roots get thicker, and trim the ends gradually over time. But those ends will look thin and wispy in comparison to your thicker hair when it grows in if you keep them. Believe me, I had to do something similar recently. My hair was pretty much BSL, but I had to cut it up to APL due to about 2 years of not trimming it. And I love it! My hair looks so thick and even now. Lay off the sew-ins for a while and nurse your hair back to health. It'll grow back thicker, stronger, and healthier and you'll love it.

 

[locabouthair]

I'm not sure why but I've heard a lot of people say they got thin ends when they wear sew ins.

I think either you should trim it gradually or just cut it. Like others said half wigs may be a good protective style because you can still wash, DC, and moisturize your hair.

 

[luvn_life]

You hair story sounds like mine. I used to do every possible thing imaginable to my hair. I used to wear braids and weaves. But, then I started dying my hair. Well... actually bleaching my hair. I would relax, wait two weeks the bleach, then two weeks relax, bleach. So, you can imagine that I looked like a fool with 4 blonde strands on my head. I had absolutely no sides and the top of my hair was about an inch long. But, when I decided to take care of my hair and I still wore sewin's and then I would wear them for 6-8 weeks and then take my hair out and relax and get it braided up and sewed in again. And I did that for about 2 years and the old hair completely fell off so the pic in my siggy is all new hair and I had about 4 inches cut off so my hair was longer. So, you can BC enough hair so that you can only braid it up and wear weaves or you can leave it in because most of it will probably come out anyway. You can also wear it out, But I just think it probably needs to be left alone so that's why I suggested weavin it up.

I really hope this helps....

 

[tailormade84]

health over length

i think you already know the answer you just need the strength and encouragement to do what is right..so here it goes..


YOU CAN DO IT!!!
IT WON'T BE TOO BAD!!!
YOU'LL BE SWANGING THAT DREAM HAIR IN DUE TIME!!!:crystalba

:bouncegre: :bouncegre:

i hope this helps :blowkiss:

 

[HealthyHair2007]

The newcomer guide is the best. Maybe cut to shoulder length and start from there gradually trimming the thin ends. Are you familar with Henna? It did wonders for my thin ends. Hang in there. I know the answer will come.
Take Care....

 

[metro_qt]

You don't actually have to cut it all off right now..
You can cut it gradually... and BABY IT.
you were doing the right thing when you were wearing buns, etc.

Now, if you want the length still.. get yourself a wig.
That's one of the best ways to have no manipulation, and still grow your hair.

This time, don't leave any hair out, give all your hair a chance to grow evenly...
you can switch things up with a phony pony...

Doing really high buns *where you baggy underneath* and get beautiful lengths of pony tail hair...

make yourself glamourous while you wait for your hair to grow...

 

[aero21]

i say cut it...i know it is a hard decision to have to cut your beloved locks but trust me once you do you will feel so much better. you will never be satisfied with transparent hair no matter how long it is. i too had to take the plunge and cut my apl stringy hair up to nl in october. now i am quickly approaching apl and could not be happier with my decision.

 

[monawalker]

I don't know about this one. I have the same issue with thin hair. I have cut my hair sooooooo many times to thicken it up but it still grows back thin. Honestly at this point I'm just learning to accept my thin hair because if i keep on taking advice and cutting/triming it will NEVER get past neck length. Just my 2 cents. Do what makes you happy

 

[MRJ1972]

I have updated my Original post with my decision....

 

[RadiantBeauty]

Hi MRJ1972, I am very sorry that this happened to you. Remember, throughout your hair journey that everything is a learning experience. I know that with everything you have learned here so far, your hair will be soooo healthy and swangin in no time!

 

[SUPER SWEET]

trims never hurt as bad as cut...

 

[Angelicus]

Sweety, please be encouraged. Your hair will grow back. I really felt your pain when I read your last couple of posts about your hair. Trim little by little and you will really see a difference!