I feel like I'm gonna do something drastic...

[ShiShiPooPoo]

I'm at a pivotal point in my journey right now. I am so tired of this in between length stuff. Also, my hair is just "there". I can't even pull it back into a decent ponytail or bun...I have to use the fake bun that is sitting on my dresser like some kind of animal. I thought about transitioning but I am not a transition type of woman. I thought about shaving my head but I don't think that will do anything for my self-esteem but...it's not far-fetched for me to something like that-believe me all it takes is my husbands clippers. I could wear wigs and who would know? I don't know...I'm just tired of thinking about relaxers and who I should go to...what strength...what brand...dry ends...lookin' mamby pamby...bone straight and flat...underprocessed and puffy...ugh! I'VE HAD IT!

 

[AllAboutMoi]

And this too shall pass...

Been there too girl. I was tired of bone straight. That is one of the reasons why I decided to transition. But the washing and deep conditioning once or twice a week was getting to me so I relaxed after 4+ months. I'm still tired of stick straight hair so I just rarely flat iron. I do roller sets or braid outs. That solves that for me. I had dry ends too. They have been fine every since my professional trim and a little coconut or amla (I didnt like it at first) oil and serum every other day in addition too a deep conditioning every time I wash.

Just be patient you will be out of the in between stage before you know it.

Your hair looks great in your pic.

 

[tapioca_pudding]

I've been there... Several times.

If your siggy/avi pix are current, it is DEFINITELY harder starting with a short cut. I can sooo relate. This stupid friggin 'in between' length will really get to you. You want to do protective styles and leave your hair alone, but you don't have the length to keep yourself looking 'decent'. Your hair becomes a stressor moreso than a joy.

It eventually passes though. I had to list my goals and WHY I'm doing all of this. That way when I get frustrated or overwhelmed, I look at my goals to kinda rebalance me.

And you might need to step away from haircare altogether for a min. Just til you get past the frustration of it all. Don't do anything drastic, just give yourself a break from all the 'research' for a bit. Then when you're ready to get back into it, you know how to find us.

I'm not sure if you are a braids/wig wearer. But I know alot of ladies here get through that rough period with these methods. I'm not a braids/wig wearer (tried it, horrible results). So I just toughed it out w/ headbands, wash and go's, caruso rollers and whatever else I could think of.

Finally (I'm sorry I'm talking so much, I just SOOO feel you), HoneyDew made a point a while ago that totally gave me a paradigm shift. I copied and pasted this from my journal:

HoneyDew made an excellent point yesterday. She said that we ladies w/ short hair can't always follow the same procedures as the ladies w/ longer hair. Its very difficult to do protective styling, to conceal newgrowth without using heat, to stretch relaxers. So we have to either stretch relaxers OR use heat. Its difficult to stretch a relaxer w/ short hair and not use heat to flatten the newgrowth. The other option is relaxing every 8 weeks while using minimal heat. Once we get to the point where we can do more (pony tails, rollersets, etc) then we can start tweaking everything. Sometimes I forget that my hair situation is different than the majority of the ladies on the board - I can't bun or rock a ponytail or things like that right now. So Ill just do it my way til I reach my goals. Its all good.

I hope something here was able to help you..

 

[Vshanell]

You may be in-between now but you won't be forever. Just stick with it, your hair will grow. It will get easier with time.

Your hair looks really great so you're doing good things!

 

[lovenharmony]

^ yup, your hair is beautiful ShiShiPooPoo!! I know it's difficult, I've been there myself for about 2 years before I started my hair journey. You hair will grow out befor you know it

 

[ShiShiPooPoo]

Thanks Moi...if my hair was your length...no worries!

But...it's not. Anyway, I am learning to have better impulse control because as soon as I have an idea...I'm off acting on it.

I do think about when my hair was natural and how I would get it blown out and it would look just like a relaxer and how if I wanted to work out I could without the hair drama and no more thought about how to do my relaxers...etc.

Ok. I just emailed my husband and asked...

"Would you still love me if I shaved all of my hair off?"

He's probably looking like this now.

 

[PuffyBrown]

Your hair looks great to me. Try doing something to keep your mind off of it.

Accessorize!
Get a couple pair of glasses. There are a lot of non prescription glasses out there. (Ulta has them).
Change the color of your lip gloss, the color of your nail polish, or the size of the earrings you wear. Alot of people feel hum drum during the winter months. I could use some sun right now, so I increased my vitamin E intake. Accessories are a great way to change the way you look.

 

[wannabelong]

Girl, hang in there! I'm going to need support from you one day because my hair is way shorter than yours.

 

[Supergirl]

I'm at a pivotal point in my journey right now. I am so tired of this in between length stuff. Also, my hair is just "there". I can't even pull it back into a decent ponytail or bun...I have to use the fake bun that is sitting on my dresser like some kind of animal. I thought about transitioning but I am not a transition type of woman. I thought about shaving my head but I don't think that will do anything for my self-esteem but...it's not far-fetched for me to something like that-believe me all it takes is my husbands clippers. I could wear wigs and who would know? I don't know...I'm just tired of thinking about relaxers and who I should go to...what strength...what brand...dry ends...lookin' mamby pamby...bone straight and flat...underprocessed and puffy...ugh! I'VE HAD IT!

It almost sounds like my most recent thoughts about hair have transferred into your head. I am totally feeling you on everything you said except the head shaving! This is why I started a thread about doing my own layers last weekend. I have thought about the natural thing too, just so I don't have to depend on a stylist for relaxers. I can't self relax (and keep my hair healthy) to save my life. I chopped off almost 4 inches 2 weeks ago.

So where is my head on this matter now? I think I will get a black rinse and call it a day. I also would like to see my U-shape kind of grow back in.

Good luck to you

 

[pazyamor]

Girl me too...it seems like I'm never going to be WL...but I know I will be, I know that if I stay the course (very GW of me...but whatev) and don't grab a pair of shears and go crazy, then I'll make it. You will too!!! And your hair is sooooo shiny and pretty...you got this girl.

 

[ShiShiPooPoo]

I really am not feeling my hair right now and I just want to say THANK YOU for just taking the time to help me out mentally a little bit. Don't be surprised though if you see a thread titled: I JUST SHAVED MY HAIR OFF!


*I asked my husband about it and he said he was curious to see me with long hair for a change*