I always thought you were exaggerating.....

[melodies815]

.....about other peoples' hands in your hair!!!!

Okaaaayyyyy...so I am in Missouri right now for training. The women in my group are all making comments about my hair...how they love it...how they wish more black/ethnic/african/african american (they don't know what to call us!) women embraced their natural hair...how they think black hair is more versatile....how they love it...when it happens! Someone put their hands in my hair!

Look...let me make my situation clear. I am in the wilderness. Training is happening inside, but during breaks, we are around dogs, cats, horses, mules, log cabins, tiny flying bugs, etc. People are touching the animals and not washing their hands. People are lying in the grass, enjoying the nature. These same people touched my HEAD!!!! UGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!

During breaks, I am sitting on the couch INSIDE, looking at everyone else, waiting on training to begin. Others are outside. Horseback riding. Playing with the cats and dogs. You get the picture, right???

The average black woman on this board is not allowing strangers who are doing the things I describe touch her person...much less, touch her hair.

Why???

Why????

Why....are we on the one hay ride we take, and the Hispanic woman who was rolling on the ground with the St. Bernard puppy reaches into my afro and says, "I LOOOOVVVE Your HAIR!!!!!"

I ducked so hard that I gave myself whiplash!!! She snatched her hand back and held it to her body. I must have looked really crazy, but all I could imagine was the St. Bernard slobber on her hands that was now in my hair. I died a slow hair death....

I closed my eyes real hard and took a deep breath and said, "I don't want to be funny, but please, please, please don't touch my hair. I am really funny about my hair. Don't touch it, okay? I mean, my husband can't play in my hair except on occasions when it cannot be helped...know what I mean? So...please don't....I mean...it's so serious. Don't do that again okay?" I was smiling and frowning and looking probably really crazy because I wanted to be nice, but I also wanted her to understand how serious I was. It was so hard. She just held her hand. I out on my hoodie.

I was freaking out.

Ladies...why did it happen again not an hour later with another woman who had seen the first incident?!?!? I almost chopped her hand off!!!

It would have been easier for me if we were in line at Wal Mart...

....but we were in the doggone wilderness with dogs and fleas and drunk people who went to the bathroom and didn't wash hands afterwards...well....and I just almost died.

I mean it.
I almost died inside.

When I got back to my hotel room, I wanted to trim my hair simply because it had been touched. I washed it twice instead.

I am grossed out beyond belief. I didn't think I would be affected this way, but now that I have my own random hair touching story...

let's just say I understand what other women have felt. I never thought it would happen to me, but I feel so violated. With the second woman, I just showed out. I said very loudly while looking at the ground,

"MY HAIR IS NOT SHOW AND TELL! DON'T TOUCH MY HAIR!!!"

I said it very kindly, but I said it very loudly too. No one responded, ad after a moment or two, the moment passed. Everyone left my hair alone after that, and I am fine with that. I want to get trained, not make hair friends. Ohhh...I am going to wash again....

I need lots of LHCF hugs, please.

Please send love my way because I have two more days of training..

...in the woods...

...in Missouri...

...pray for me, okay?

cj

 

[naturalmanenyc]

It's a shame!!! It's even worse since they feel like it's okay to put their grimey, slobber covered hands in your hair.

I hope to God that you do not have to endure buffet dining with this crowderplexed They sound like they need lessons in cleanliness.

 

[Bettina]

Wow! how rude, but it is good that you took your stand and told them instead of shying away. I wonder how they would feel if you were all in their scalps

 

[luckiestdestiny]

I'm sorry but that is soooo funny!

I know it wasn't at the time...
but now it's hysterical. You probably looked crazed to them!

But you had a right to ask, and I would've been right there along with you swatting hands. Like WHERE have your hands been. And I love dogs, but come on!

 

[song_of_serenity]

Good ole Missouruh.

I'm sorry this happened to you! I hate that you have to "go there" for people to get it. Geeze. :/

 

[mswoman]

Hey!!! I'm in Kansas so I know what you mean....

Sorry about how we act out here in the country, but as I have shared with others it's a whole new life out here, no hair hating but hair love! Love everything, be free etc... They get so excited to see black women (because many are married to black men) they feel there is an automatic bond.

I'll apologize for my yt sisters, they are so ghetto or yt trash as they would say. They all might apologize to you tomorrow and say they are sorry about that and slavery etc.... Cut them off quickly before they go down that road. (A woman started crying at my mothers job during lunch because she saying how was sad about how black people were slavery, my mom was the first black woman to work in the department and her first black friend)

Anyway,

I am glad that you stood up for yourself, otherwise they would have been touching it tomorrow Please resist the urge to oke: them...

 

[bablou00]

I too was raised and lived in Missouri so I know, but I live in Kentucky rt now and people here have it worse. The first week I BC'd I had all kinds of hands up in my head it was hilarious at first but then it got annoying when people didnt ask they just rub and pet you like a dog!!! Cute story and way to stand your ground

 

[melodies815]

Hey!!! I'm in Kansas so I know what you mean....

Sorry about how we act out here in the country, but as I have shared with others it's a whole new life out here, no hair hating but hair love! Love everything, be free etc... They get so excited to see black women (because many are married to black men) they feel there is an automatic bond.

I'll apologize for my yt sisters, they are so ghetto or yt trash as they would say. They all might apologize to you tomorrow and say they are sorry about that and slavery etc.... Cut them off quickly before they go down that road. (A woman started crying at my mothers job during lunch because she saying how was sad about how black people were slavery, my mom was the first black woman to work in the department and her first black friend)

Anyway,

I am glad that you stood up for yourself, otherwise they would have been touching it tomorrow Please resist the urge to oke: them...

They were not black women, so I felt like I had to be extra gentle. They may not have understood how deeply I felt what I did. But...I am back in my room now and safe until the morning, thank goodness!!!

LOL @ the woman crying over slavery!!! Too funny!!

cj

 

[melodies815]

Thank you for understanding, ladies. I am going to sleep right now, so I might miss some other responses...but it's great to know someone understands.

Much love and healthy hair growth to us all!

cj

 

[mj11051]

Sweetie get yourself a sock full of quarters and use it next time.I absolutely hate that and have actually slapped a woman in Walmart for it.

 

[winnettag]

I don't get why people do that.
I've never had the urge to touch someone else's hair (unless I'm moisture checking my nieces to make sure their momma's are doing their hair on the regular like they're supposed to).....much less someone I don't know/barely know.....regardless of how pretty or cute their hair is.
Then again, I'm a believer of the arm length personal space bubble as well.

 

[flowinlocks]

I feel your pain on the random ppl touching your hair, I probably would have reacted the same way. That's my fear if/when I reach WL. Not the ppl touching my hair , if they do what will my reaction be.? ::::axehunter: Lol well maybe not that serious but regardless of sweet and nice I can be, I'm very territorial and ppl should respect other ppl's personal space.

 

[sheba1]

Oh CJ, I'm so sorry!! I can only imagine. I had a fellow sister reach into my hair at work and I almost had a fit... so I can only imagine how you felt with them out in the wilderness acting a fool and putting their hands all up in your beautiful hair

For what it's worth, I think you handled the situation very well, as no one got knocked out... which, btw, no one here would have faulted you for. Come on,now... dog slobber?! What was she thinking?!!!

I'm sending and your way. You'll make it through this, indeed. I'm certain you were clear and the worst of it has passed. Please please don't do any cutting. When you get to your own surroundings and you're able to do a treatment and give your hair some TLC you'll feel much better.

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

ew! dog slobber? fleas? animal germs? yuck! i'm glad you spoke up, especially since you died slow deaths so many times. i know i would have fell out.​

 

[AllAboutMoi]

Good thing you said something or you would have been more upset after they all played in your hair.

I never understood why people would touch the hair of a stranger. You dont know what is in someone's head.

 

[BostonMaria]

....but we were in the doggone wilderness with dogs and fleas and drunk people who went to the bathroom and didn't wash hands afterwards...well....and I just almost died.

I mean it.
I almost died inside.

OMG I have tears in my eyes!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!! I can't stop laughing!
I will pray for you and rebuke those fleas! LOL

 

[SEMO]

Sorry to hear this. They were totally inappropriate. I am from Missouri, please don't judge the whole state by them. Everyone there doesn't have a deficit in home training on cleanliness.

It's the "Show-Me" state, and apparently they didn't know how to see with their eyes and not their hands.

 

[robot.]

Sweetie get yourself a sock full of quarters and use it next time.I absolutely hate that and have actually slapped a woman in Walmart for it.

Like, across the face?

So, what else happened? What did she do? How did she touch it? White or black?

 

[beans4reezy]

I closed my eyes real hard and took a deep breath and said, "I don't want to be funny, but please, please, please don't touch my hair. I am really funny about my hair. Don't touch it, okay? I mean, my husband can't play in my hair except on occasions when it cannot be helped...know what I mean? So...please don't....I mean...it's so serious. Don't do that again okay?" I was smiling and frowning and looking probably really crazy because I wanted to be nice, but I also wanted her to understand how serious I was

Girl!!!! You have me DYING over here at work!!!! Yeah, you may have sounded a little crazy, but guess what? Folks aren't grabbing at your hair like the last supper anymore, right? Mission Accomplished!!

 

[mj11051]

Like, across the face?

So, what else happened? What did she do? How did she touch it? White or black?

Yes, here's what happened, I was walking thru Walmart and she saw told me my hair was beautiful and tried to touch, i told I didn't like people putting their hands in my hair and walked away. Then at the checkout she was behind and put her hands in head anyway and I turned around and slapped the crap outta her.

 

[SEMO]

Yes, here's what happened, I was walking thru Walmart and she saw told me my hair was beautiful and tried to touch, i told I didn't like people putting their hands in my hair and walked away. Then at the checkout she was behind and put her hands in head anyway and I turned around and slapped the crap outta her.

Wow. You are gansta. But you did warn her nicely. She won't be pulling that trick on anyone else I'm sure.

 

[GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I]

Hey!!! I'm in Kansas so I know what you mean....

Sorry about how we act out here in the country, but as I have shared with others it's a whole new life out here, no hair hating but hair love! Love everything, be free etc... They get so excited to see black women (because many are married to black men) they feel there is an automatic bond.

...

.....about other peoples' hands in your hair!!!!

Okaaaayyyyy...so I am in Missouri right now for training. The women in my group are all making comments about my hair...how they love it...how they wish more black/ethnic/african/african american (they don't know what to call us!) women embraced their natural hair...how they think black hair is more versatile....how they love it..

I too was raised and lived in Missouri so I know, but I live in Kentucky rt now and people here have it worse.

Sorry to hear this. They were totally inappropriate. I am from Missouri, please don't judge the whole state by them. Everyone there doesn't have a deficit in home training on cleanliness.

It's the "Show-Me" state, and apparently they didn't know how to see with their eyes and not their hands.

I agree with SEMO, please don't judge Kansas and Missouri or the Midwest region by these people. I was born and raised in Kansas, twin city to KCMO so I know both sides (but I'm urban, not rural). My people are from Oklahoma and Arkansas and I can tell you, this is not common behavior. If anything, most white people would be FRIGHTENED to touch Black hair That's crap, about loving our hair? Yeah, show me! show me!

Those ladies were backpeddling whatever they were feeling guilty about so they paid you this compliment/curiosity. And behind your back, you know they were and probably are still discussing you. About the Latina, I'd expect that more from her...lived in the Caribbean for awhile.

I can say that I don't like it when anybody touches my hair, including Black people. I find it rude and I always wonder about their motives. One can pay a compliment without becoming physical. To me, it says they think they can touch me...but I'd better not dare question and touch them...kinda like I'm a little pet of sorts that's not on their superior level.

I'm glad you spoke up about it.

 

[SEMO]

I agree with SEMO, please don't judge Kansas and Missouri or the Midwest region by these people. I was born and raised in Kansas, twin city to KCMO so I know both sides (but I'm urban, not rural). My people are from Oklahoma and Arkansas and I can tell you, this is not common behavior. If anything, most white people would be FRIGHTENED to touch Black hair That's crap, about loving our hair? Yeah, show me! show me!

Those ladies were backpeddling whatever they were feeling guilty about so they paid you this compliment/curiosity. And behind your back, you know they were and probably are still discussing you. About the Latina, I'd expect that more from her...lived in the Caribbean for awhile.

I can say that I don't like it when anybody touches my hair, including Black people. I find it rude and I always wonder about their motives. One can pay a compliment without becoming physical. To me, it says they think they can touch me...but I'd better not dare question and touch them...kinda like I'm a little pet of sorts that's not on their superior level.

I'm glad you spoke up about it.

I was raised in KCMO and wasn't aware that there was a stigma. Maybe it's that urban Missouri vs. rural "Missour-ah" thing.

 

[Essensual]

Wow! how rude, but it is good that you took your stand and told them instead of shying away. I wonder how they would feel if you were all in their scalps

Sis,
You did the right thing. This the same crazy logic that makes complete strangers think that it is okay to violate a pregnant woman by touching her belly.

...um...did you really just do that? Really?!?nono:

 

[keelioness]

OT: I love ur DD's hair

 

[Essensual]

Yes, here's what happened, I was walking thru Walmart and she saw told me my hair was beautiful and tried to touch, i told I didn't like people putting their hands in my hair and walked away. Then at the checkout she was behind and put her hands in head anyway and I turned around and slapped the crap outta her.

 

[GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I]

I was raised in KCMO and wasn't aware that there was a stigma. Maybe it's that urban Missouri vs. rural "Missour-ah" thing.

I can imagine a rural Mizzou-rian (hehehe, Rock Chalk Jayhawk!) touching a Black person's hair. Where the heck is this town, I have to see this because I'm in total shock lolol! But then again, the states out "West" are much larger and there's more rural area. If people don't see the cities, they maybe think the whole state is rural and cowntruh-acting and fake like those silly folks? I know I think most W. Pennsylvanians are stupid lolol...

I still don't get it. White country folks from Kansas and Missouri touching Black hair Ahahahaha! Let them cowntruh gals try that mess in St. Louis rat-a-tat-tat! Or on Prospect or Troost in KCMO Hell, Quindaro Blvd in KCK!:gunner7:

 

[CurlyMoo]

Poor Melodie has had her head molested, I'm sorry and send you a big



What are you training for to be around all those wonderful creatures?

 

[Shananyganz]

I'm funny about people touching ME, much less my hair. Folks who know me, simply know not to do it. I try to respect everyone's space and I expect the same in return. Its always difficult dealing with strangers...and in the sue happy state I reside, I have to be careful with how I execute my responses to unwanted (hair) touches. But please BELIEVE that the thought to strike out crazy (be it verbal or physical) does not escape my mind, but more often than not (IF it can be helped) I am tactful in my response. I presently have braids and no matter how often I wear them I always get an occasional reach out...to where I explain my rule of no touching. I have grabbed a hand a time or two to prevent the "pet, stroke, and linger" action. For some folk, 'touching' is not that serious, but I have ALWAYS been on that 'don't touch me vibe'. Its just better that way IMHO..lol. Sucks you had to go through that though OP, but yes..leave the scissors be..just wash the feeling away!!

 

[TeeWhyAre]

Your rant has me DYING! I'm sorry they are all up in your hair. Trust I understand where you're coming from. Folks playing with dogs, not washing their hands then trying to hug me is gross to me.