how soon is too soon... for calling you "baby"

[smwrigh3]

Hey ladies,

in efforts to get over my ex I have started to date someone else. He is older man, I am 21 he is @ least 35. We met when I went to his company for study aboard funding and he is the vice president.

I went out for drink last friday.
lunch saturday
dinner monday
dinner tonight

He is already calling me baby. On the phone, thru txts, thru emails I think he thinks its ok b/c I called him "hun" ONCE.. but I am southern I call EVERYBODY "hun" or "honey" or "chile" .

I mean is calling me baby to soon for less than a week.

P.S: I really want to ask him how old he his.. how can I do that w/o being rude?

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

Hey ladies,

in efforts to get over my ex I have started to date someone else. He is older man, I am 21 he is @ least 35. We met when I went to his company for study aboard funding and he is the vice president.

I went out for drink last friday.
lunch saturday
dinner monday
dinner tonight

He is already calling me baby. On the phone, thru txts, thru emails I think he thinks its ok b/c I called him "hun" ONCE.. but I am southern I call EVERYBODY "hun" or "honey" or "chile" .

I mean is calling me baby to soon for less than a week.

P.S: I really want to ask him how old he his.. how can I do that w/o being rude?

I'd just ask him what his age is. But if you don't wanna do that:

Tell him that you hate your license picture. Let him see your license and joke about how young you look in your license picture. Then say soemthing like, I haven't seen to many kute license pics. Lemme see your license. Look at it calculate the date in your head and then say that he took a handsome license pic and give it back.

 

[smwrigh3]

I'd just ask him what his age is. But if you don't wanna do that:

Tell him that you hate your license picture. Let him see your license and joke about how young you look in your license picture. Then say soemthing like, I haven't seen to many kute license pics. Lemme see your license. Look at it calculate the date in your head and then say that he took a handsome license pic and give it back.

oooo... I like that!

 

[JustKiya]

The large difference in age and experience might also factor into him calling you baby.

Personally, I don't think there is an 'appropriate' amount of time to wait - it depends on the relationship, and the people in it. If you aren't comfy with him calling you baby, tell him to stop.

And good lord, just ask the man his age instead of being all coy and beating around the the bush.

 

[Ms Red]

If you are uncomfortable with the familiarity of it, then it's too soon. If I didn't like it, I would tell him outright 'isn't it a bit soon for terms of enderment' [insert laugh] ... but I'm just like that. lol.

I would check his age, for sure.

 

[glamazon386]

I guess it depends on what that word means to you. People who aren't my SO have called me baby before just because so it wouldn't creep me out for SO or someone I was dating to do it sooner or later. If it makes you uncomfortable, then you should tell him.

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

I don't mind the "baby" name calling from most so I dunno how to answer the other question. Just tell him that you don't lik3 the name "baby". It is so cliche [sexy laugh] and unorginal. Call me something that means something more if you must.

Reminds me of Space Jam

Bugs: You wanna play a little one on one, doll.
Lola Bunny: [angrily] Doll?
Bugs: Uhaaa
Lola Bunny: On the court *Bugs*.
Bugs: Sure.
Tweety Bird: Ooo, she's hot.
Lola Bunny: [starts dribbling] Ready?
Bugs: Yes
[she gets past him]
Bugs: I got it , I got it
[she spins around him, he winds up into a not and she makes a basket]
Michael Jordan: The girl got skills.
Bugs: [Lola comes over to him seductivly] Yes?
Lola Bunny: Don't ever call me, doll.
Bugs: Sure.
Lola Bunny: [as she is leaving] Nice playin with ya.
Michael Jordan: Very smooth.
Bugs: Ahh, she's obviously nuts about me.
Michael Jordan: Obviously.

 

[smwrigh3]

The only reason I'm scared to ask is b/c the last time I dated an older guy I asked him if he had kids and he was like "How u gonna ask me a question like that.. Yea I got kids" I am thinking to myself.. was that a stupid question? erplexed

Lol.. I am going to ask him thru a txt

"I going to say Hey Harvey.. I was wondering how old are you? I been want to ask u but I didn't want to be rude" and can u chill out with the "baby(s)" I think its weird to call someone that when u only known them for 5 days" what do yall think?

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

NO don't txt him!! It's gonna come off that you're immature and you can't say what you like and dislike face to face.

 

[JustKiya]

Sounds good - but do it via a phone call, or in person, not a text.

And the previous older guy was WAYYY off. "How you gonna ask me something like that?" - the hell? That's NOT, in any way, shape or form, a stupid question - he just wanted to make you doubt the value of knowing.

Having children is an important piece of information to know from someone you are considering getting in a relationship with - I hope you dumped him, and swiftly.

 

[smwrigh3]

Sounds good - but do it via a phone call, or in person, not a text.

And the previous older guy was WAYYY off. "How you gonna ask me something like that?" - the hell? That's NOT, in any way, shape or form, a stupid question - he just wanted to make you doubt the value of knowing.

Having children is an important piece of information to know from someone you are considering getting in a relationship with - I hope you dumped him, and swiftly.

that was our last date... I'm 21 and I have dated men with children b4 so I have no problem with that. But I felt like he was trying to hide it b/c they were my age and older (come to find out)

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

Don't put time limits on names... just go with what feels right.

 

[Bunny77]

The only reason I'm scared to ask is b/c the last time I dated an older guy I asked him if he had kids and he was like "How u gonna ask me a question like that.. Yea I got kids" I am thinking to myself.. was that a stupid question? erplexed

Lol.. I am going to ask him thru a txt

"I going to say Hey Harvey.. I was wondering how old are you? I been want to ask u but I didn't want to be rude" and can u chill out with the "baby(s)" I think its weird to call someone that when u only known them for 5 days" what do yall think?

Uh, if you're gonna be dating a grown-butt man, how about communicating with him in a grown and mature way? Like face to face?

Just ask him the darn question the next time you see him!

 

[SleekandBouncy]

I think it just depends on how the relationship develops. I don't think there is any set time.
I've never called a BF baby though. I'm not the type

I agree with the others who said to upgrade to grown up means of communication.

 

[mrsjohnson75]

You should be asking him how old he is, does he have kids, have he ever been married, is he married..LOL...these are the types of questions you ask on first dates...its all about getting to know him.

 

[LightEyedMami]

umm my husband when we first met called me "boo" and yes i felt it was WAYY to soon BUT i didn't say anything and eventually it became okay. If you feel uncomfortable than tell him to wait a bit longer before he starts calling you pet names.

 

[smwrigh3]

ummmm I never thought about texting as immature.. mostly because that's how I communicate with those close to me.. But then again I don't talk to me people over the age of 22!

ok.. so I am going to but my big girl clothes on and be an adult! We are going to dinner tonight and I will just come right out and ask him... I think I don't have to just blurt it out but bring it up in simple conversation...

Gee Golly! I think I'm getting it!

ETA: I think I am going to let the whole "baby" thing go.... maybe it means the same to him that "hun" means to me. I am going to africa for a month and he is sponsoring me... Imma just wait and see what happens when I get back.

 

[Bunny77]

ummmm I never thought about texting as immature.. mostly because that's how I communicate with those close to me.. But then again I don't talk to me people over the age of 22!

ok.. so I am going to but my big girl clothes on and be an adult! We are going to dinner tonight and I will just come right out and ask him... I think I don't have to just blurt it out but bring it up in simple conversation...

Gee Golly! I think I'm getting it!

ETA: I think I am going to let the whole "baby" thing go.... maybe it means the same to him that "hun" means to me. I am going to africa for a month and he is sponsoring me... Imma just wait and see what happens when I get back.

You know, I understand you on the texting thing... I realize when I'm talking with college students and recent grads that texting is an accepted part of their lives and they often communicate that way.

My concern is that many seem to make it a crutch and then don't know how to transition to in-person/phone communication when it's needed... and eventually, ya'll are gonna need it. How are you and your future husband gonna talk about the important stuff and settle arguments? Text back and forth in your own house?

Good on putting on the big girl clothes... and as for the "baby" thing, when I dated an older man, he called me sweetheart all the time. He was from the South though and did that a lot. I just let it go.

Another question... are you crossing any ethical boundaries by dating this man, since he is your study abroad coordinator and all?

 

[smwrigh3]

You know, I understand you on the texting thing... I realize when I'm talking with college students and recent grads that texting is an accepted part of their lives and they often communicate that way.

My concern is that many seem to make it a crutch and then don't know how to transition to in-person/phone communication when it's needed... and eventually, ya'll are gonna need it. How are you and your future husband gonna talk about the important stuff and settle arguments? Text back and forth in your own house?

Good on putting on the big girl clothes... and as for the "baby" thing, when I dated an older man, he called me sweetheart all the time. He was from the South though and did that a lot. I just let it go.

Another question... are you crossing any ethical boundaries by dating this man, since he is your study abroad coordinator and all?

1st bold: honey by the time I get married I hope they have helmets so he can read my mind!!! BUT I definitely get your point! but it would be nice...


2nd bold: Oh he's not my study abroad coordinator. The company he works for donated $500 to my trip.. I met him in the parking lot when I went to the company for sponsorship.. I didn't know his job title until met for dinner on Monday.

 

[TayMac]

Just ask him. Doesn't sound like you are ready to date a much older man. Get on top of your game girl lol!

 

[MissNina]

I would've asked him the first day I met him. This guy tried to get at me last week and he was obviously much older than me and I asked him straight up. He didn't get offended, he just asked me if that would be a problem for me. It's not (he's 40) but I need to know age so I can tell how far I'm going to take certain things, what he's prob expecting, etc.

And I wouldn't stress him calling you baby until he starts ACTING like you're his baby Then I'd be like PAUSE.

 

[smwrigh3]

Just ask him. Doesn't sound like you are ready to date a much older man. Get on top of your game girl lol!

That the thing.. how do u know when ur ready. I am sick and tired of dating my age range. I want to have life experiences and I don't wanna back away so soon just because I feel like a fish out of water. I not saying that I am going to make this man my new beau.. but I am down for trying...

does that make sense? I mean why should I stop something because I don't know how to do it? I'm not saying your telling me to stop..I'm just thinking out loud.

The coolest thing is he can help with my homework cuz he has a Ph.D in my major! Its really so cute.

 

[HAIRapy]

Usually the only reason why a guy calls you Baby or Babe quickly is so he doesn't mess up and say the wrong name if he's talking to a few chicks at once. I'm not saying that this is the case... but I believe that's usually the reason. He IS older though... so that may be just the way he treats someone who he wants to be his lady.

 

[TayMac]

I didn't mean it in a rude way..hope it didn't come off like that. But seriously when dating any age, you can't be shy about asking basic questions. In ages 19-24 I have dated men 30+ and some my age. Had a good time..learned alot. Got played too lol!

In my experiences, the good ones are patient and you can learn and explore with them..the others will run game on you especially if you come off as being naive. Be alert and have fun.

 

[smwrigh3]

I didn't mean it in a rude way..hope it didn't come off like that. But seriously when dating any age, you can't be shy about asking basic questions. In ages 19-24 I have dated men 30+ and some my age. Had a good time..learned alot. Got played too lol!

In my experiences, the good ones are patient and you can learn and explore with them..the others will run game on you especially if you come off as being naive. Be alert and have fun.

Oh no u weren't being rude @ all.. I hope I didn't u feel that way. Ur post just got me to thinking is all!!! Ur helping me! That wat I posted this for! I am just so excited that I'm acting like a school girl! I think I need to calm down and be myself! and if it leads to nowhere.. well @ least I went somewhere!

 

[CHECKMATE!]

Usually the only reason why a guy calls you Baby or Babe quickly is so he doesn't mess up and say the wrong name if he's talking to a few chicks at once. I'm not saying that this is the case... but I believe that's usually the reason. He IS older though... so that may be just the way he treats someone who he wants to be his lady.

I was going to say this,but dit not want to offend the OP...Baby/babes are generic terms (of endearment)...meant to flatter but not taken seriously,sorry

 

[Kerryann]

i think thats probably just him. i call tthe people i date babes or baby its just a term i dont think u should take it seriously

 

[envybeauty]

Usually the only reason why a guy calls you Baby or Babe quickly is so he doesn't mess up and say the wrong name if he's talking to a few chicks at once. I'm not saying that this is the case... but I believe that's usually the reason. He IS older though... so that may be just the way he treats someone who he wants to be his lady.

why did Destiny's Child "Say My Name" pop into my head when I read this post?

I agree though. A man usuallysaying "baby" early on is nothing if he never says your name from time to time.

 

[ANUBIS]

That the thing.. how do u know when ur ready. I am sick and tired of dating my age range. I want to have life experiences and I don't wanna back away so soon just because I feel like a fish out of water. I not saying that I am going to make this man my new beau.. but I am down for trying...

does that make sense? I mean why should I stop something because I don't know how to do it? I'm not saying your telling me to stop..I'm just thinking out loud.

The coolest thing is he can help with my homework cuz he has a Ph.D in my major! Its really so cute.

It really doesnt sound like you are ready to date a man this age...the bolded sounds creepy also the fact that his company is sponsoring you to study abroad and he's makin tha moves.

Also, what you said you were going to text him was really high school.

 

[sky_blu]

I call everybody "babe" and when I read your post I figured he called you that because of his age. Ive noticed that older guys speak from their generation so he probably thinks nothing of it. If it makes you uncomfortable just let him know that and KIM. If it takes for you texting him to tell him, DO IT! There is no one way to do everything, do what you think works best for you.