"Haven't they invented something cuter for black women to wear to bed?"

dreamgurl82

dreamgurl82

Member
I was talking to my older brother on Skype last night. I am in Asia right now so with the time difference with him being in NY I was getting ready for bed and he was getting ready for church. (Context he is married to a white woman, who I love like my own sister).

I was sitting in bed wearing my BSS bought "du-rag looking" silk scarf on my head (somehow it makes my hair smooth and perfect in the morning = less manipulation= perfect work ready bun= protective style= retention retention retention).

He said, "haven't they invented something cuter for black women to wear to bed yet? I mean really does it have to look like a skull cap? Can't you get a nice colourful one then...or even treat yourself to a pretty designer scarf?"
:nono: I know its the truth, but my FH doesn't seem to mind...I just can't stop wondering, should I be making more of an effort?

My sister with full shoulder length hair (that I know could be at least bra strap length if she looked after it) will not go to bed with a scarf, and I do know some women on this board say that they would rather never have waist length hair or whatever rather go to bed with a scarf. Do we really look that bad? Have we subjected our men to this for so long that they don't know the difference anymore?:ohwell:
 
Very funny. That would be really nice. I believe that it takes more of an effort to wrap your hair nightly than to wear it out. I'm too lazy most of the time. Although when my hair is freshly permed, I do go to bed with my scarf. I've choosen one that's colorful and silky, but it doesn't look any more attractive.
 
Honestly, I feel your pain, but it don't too much bother me or my hubby. I know when hubby is feeling frisky and I'll leave the scarf off, but after we do the do, I put it on. Unfortunately for some of us it's just one of those things, that if you want to look decent in the morning you wear it. My husband will actually remind me baby put your scarf on.
 
I was thinking the same thing this weekend. I don't even have an SO and the thing is still ugly. I don't mind wearing something on my hair. I wear a satin bonnet but does it have to look like I'm on the cast of petticoat junction (ok telln my age).

There has to be a way to create something functional and attractive. I plan on getting a loc soc next time I see one. It will at least be a step up.
 
The dh doesn't mind because he has sisters and a mother so he knows what is required to keep our hair well maintained. When we're getting ready to do the do, I'll scarf the hair or maybe even wear a wig, but again, he doesn't mind if I do either although I'm sure he'd much rather I wear the wig if I asked his preference. He's not a fan of the satin bonnet for when we do the do, that I do know. And like @MrsSmitty77 mentioned, he'll actually reminds me to scarf and helps me with this HHJ, etc. He even offers to swing me by the BSS without asking. He's just very supportive. BUT, I still would like a sexier look while sleeping, etc so that I don't do like a hot mess.
 
I would really appreciate if they came up with something cuter. I don't think the regular black bonnet/cap/scarf looks awful but I also think I'd prefer to look more attractive when heading to bed.
 
Why does it matter what you have on your head when your sleep? I've never gotten these scarf threads and people acting like wearing a scarf makes you look like Aunt Jemima or something. There's too many attractive scarves and head wraps out there.....rock that scarf.

Scarf+1.jpg


Scarf+2.jpg
<---These are cute for anyone who feels the need to be glammed up while they sleep, lol. Be creative....there's so many options out there for those who feel the need to do so.
 
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Pokahontas said:
Why does it matter what you have on your head when your sleep? I've never gotten these scarf threads and people acting like wearing a scarf makes you look like Aunt Jemima or something. There's too many attractive scarves and head wraps out there.....rock that scarf.
Click to expand...
Agree, but if you wake up in the middle of the night trying to be sexy!....that's when it might matter, otherwise, nope, we're all sleep so no one knows what you look like...and have you looked at someone while they sleep? No matter who it is, it's just flat out ugly. lol. So that evens the score.
 
If your SO/DH is seriously worried or has given significant thought about what you're wearing on your head when you go to bed then your relationship has major issues. :lol: Seriously most men not married to Becky's understand the importance of maintaining our tresses but it couldn't hurt to wear a pretty silk scarf (colour coordinate to your favorite lingerie) versus a regular satin bonnet. After the additional effort if he's still focused on the head wear instead of the lingerie then you know you're not doing something right :lachen:.
 
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MrsSmitty77 said:
Honestly, I feel your pain, but it don't too much bother me or my hubby. I know when hubby is feeling frisky and I'll leave the scarf off, but after we do the do, I put it on. Unfortunately for some of us it's just one of those things, that if you want to look decent in the morning you wear it. My husband will actually remind me baby put your scarf on.
Click to expand...

Exactly... I hope to never come across a dude that has a problem with is. I wear a black head scarf and it's not bulky and doesn't look bad. It's just something we have to do. My ex would remind me to put it on :lol: I have never had any of my ex's complain or even make mention of a my head tie.
 
I look pretty in my scarf. I wear a pretty black scarf, shaped like a triangle and I tie it in the back. I look like I'm from a different culture and it's adorable. I am actually tempted to wear scarves like this during rain or snow, because it emphasizes my eyes.

If I were unhappy in a scarf, then I would pincurl and use a satin pillowcase.
 
My SO of 4 years has type 1 hair and he really doesn't care.

He understands, this hair texture needs a certain level of care. If your man wants you to have healthy hair, why wouldn't you be able to comfortably do the things you have to do to keep it healthy?

Seriously... even last night he was making suggestions about the proportion of castor oil to coconut oil in my oil mix. :lol: Men can get it and many will encourage and support you.

Plus... no, I don't think it looks that bad. Not like putting a scarf on makes you look disfigured. It's just a piece of cloth. I would think it's immature to make a big deal about it.

Just my 2 cents. lol
 
Neith said:
My SO of 4 years has type 1 hair and he really doesn't care.

He understands, this hair texture needs a certain level of care. If your man wants you to have healthy hair, why wouldn't you be able to comfortably do the things you have to do to keep it healthy?

Seriously... even last night he was making suggestions about the proportion of castor oil to coconut oil in my oil mix. :lol: Men can get it and many will encourage and support you.

Plus... no, I don't think it looks that bad. Not like putting a scarf on makes you look disfigured. It's just a piece of cloth. I would think it's immature to make a big deal about it.

Just my 2 cents. lol
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I agree. It's too superficial for my taste. I couldn't deal with a man who had an issue with a square piece of cloth on my head when I go out of my way to look fab for him everyday.
 
If you're not into looks all that much then it doesnt matter what you wear to bed. if my boyfriend wanted me to look cuter in bed I would change to a cuter headdress simply because I want to, not because others want me to. I am not one to care about how I look when I go to bed, because I'm going to bed. However, I have a love for satin. It just so happens my black satin bonnet is very fashionable That and it has a drawstring on it to make it tight and stay in place. I am not very fond of scarves unless they're silk or satin.
 
Me and my hubby are in a healthy relationship and very much in love. That said, I would get laughed right out of bed if I came to bed with a scarf on. He just doesn't think it's cute/sexy and neither do I. So, I usually "pineapple" my hair and I sleep with a satin pillowcase every night.
 
That's my point !! My FH does not care and like many of your SO's he even reminds me to put on my scarf. Its just that it would be nice to have more 'attractive' options. Not necessarily "glammed up". I don't actually wear anything else to bed other than my underwear.

But sometimes when we are coloring and the colors get really bright, I whip it off! I guess I personally don't feel that "hot" in it- when the time comes.

I probably would feel hot in any of those though....if they are silk

Pokahontas said:
Why does it matter what you have on your head when your sleep? I've never gotten these scarf threads and people acting like wearing a scarf makes you look like Aunt Jemima or something. There's too many attractive scarves and head wraps out there.....rock that scarf.

Scarf+1.jpg


Scarf+2.jpg
<---These are cute for anyone who feels the need to be glammed up while they sleep, lol. Be creative....there's so many options out there for those who feel the need to do so.
Click to expand...
 
My SO is white and he didn't say anything when I started sleeping in my silk scarf at the beginning of my HHJ in July. He did notice there were less broken hairs on the pillowcases!! :lol:
 
I have yet to meet the man more concerned about whats ON my head then whats on my body. *Kanye shrug*

I have found it worthwhile to get pretty silk scarves. I have never used the do-rag thingy.
 
I do not feel attractive in my nightly headgear so I've been trying to find something more attractive. I may just purchase some non silk/satin fabric in a cute design and cover my regular scarf with it as I haven't found anything nice and affordable in silk/satin.
 
My SO isn't black, but I'm the only woman he's slept with and he comes from a house of all brothers so I kind of all he's used to!

However I did find a really cute silk lilac wrap that ties in a bow and he likes that:). Or else I have a designer scarf with flowers.
 
I wear a satin bonnet at night and I hate it...I think that they can design something more chic for women to wear at night. I don't wear a scarf because it would come off the minute I hit the bed. I don't care what a man thinks about it; it is just my personal taste. If we can travel to the moon, why the heck they can't design a chic bonnet/night head gear :lol: with nice colors or patterns or something!!!
 
I wear the prettiest silk scarf that I could find that was long enough and it's still not very attractive. That's why I only put it on right before my head hits the pillow and take it off the second my alarm goes off. I don't wear it around the house or even to the bathroom in the morning. The only time I have the scarf on when I'm not in bed is if I get up in the middle of the night to use the restroom.
 
Dominican09 said:
I don't wear a scarf because it would come off the minute I hit the bed. I don't care what a man thinks about it; it is just my personal taste.
Click to expand...

I am the same way. My scarf last about 5 minutes unless I tie it so tight my head hurts. I've tried the satin pillowcase and its on the floor after 15 minutes because I'm sweating so bad.

If I just wore my bonnet when I slept maybe it wouldn't be so bad. But I wear it a lot when I'm just around the house to keep my hair off the pillows and couch, etc.

I am going to try to find a replacement fabric for the satin pillowcase.
 
My bf rlly does care what I wear on my head. Actually he prefers when I wear my scarf to sleep bc then I dont wake up with my twists going every which way.

pluss he has 2 older sisters so he's used to the scarfs by now
 
That's why I use a silk pillowcase. Silk scarfs always come off my head, or are to tight. Silk pillowcases are better for my situation.
 
DH has never said anything about it..but i know him well..he is very visual..just as i am..so i alternate..btwn wearin a silk scarf and sleeping on my silk pillow case...he likes to rub my head/hair b4 bed and honestly its just what i need to wind down from a long day...

i can see how it can be unappealing to men...a loose bun or a silk head band is another alternative for me...i try and find the prettiest scarves for my hair..and i soak them once a week in a mixture of a cheapie conditioner like VO5 strawberries and water..so they have a great smell...
 
Have you guys heard of locsoc's? I swear by them for my natural hair! They have all sorts of pretty patterns, seasonal, animal print, solids, pretty and colorful. I have an animal print one and one thats bling bling with sparkly denim lol. I will try to post a pic for u guys if anyone is interested. They are not pricey either.
 
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