Tonight I was out celebrating my birthday at a Wild West kinda restaurant. Most of the people working there were white. But standing out was the one black staff member. She was stunning...to me anyway. She was dressed casually, tank top, cut off shorts, cowboy boots with the most delicious head of natural curls you ever want to see. Definitely drool worthy. I was going to ask to snap a pic but what happened next stopped me. When she came to take our order while everyone else was deciding I told her that her hair was really pretty. She said thanks but kind of sighed as she said it. I didn't take offense. I then asked if it was a braid out or a wash n go since her curls were so defined. She sighs again but gives a cocky smirk and says "it's all mine" and flips her hair (or tries to) like shes in a Pantene commercial. Firstly that was not what I asked and second her hair was in no ways ready for that flip. Not even touching her shoulders. She should leave that to the pros like the APL and beyond ladies here. I refused to let her irk me so I smiled and asked my question again. And she looked a little surprised as since I guess she thought she had already answered the question she thought I really wanted to ask. But said it was wash n go. Needless to say I was sorry I even complimented her in the first place. I still think her hair is pretty (still wishing I would have snapped that pic) but I also think I will now be admiring from afar. :-/
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Have you ever Regretted Complimenting someone's hair?
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SmileyNY
Well-Known Member
I know exactly how you feel. A lot of these young new naturals are feeling themselves a little too hard. I complimented my little sister's friend (who's newly natural) on her hair. She complimented me on mine & assumed that I was natural. I told her that I was actually Texlaxed. She put on the judgmental stank face & proceeded to lecture me about natural hair. I had to cut her off with "Woah, 'scuse me honey boo boo... I was natural for 8 years. I went natural before you could spell it. I know my hair very well & I know what I'm doing, so please have several seats."..., okay, I didn't say it exactly like that
, but I definitely shut her up lol.
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nappystorm
Well-Known Member
No. Let her be proud of her hair. I would rather see that than the alternative. Meh *Kanye shrug*
ETA: You know what? I take the back When I first met one of my good friends I complimented her hair and her response rubbed me the wrong way. I don't think she was trying to shade me but I was like 
. I didn't like her for a hot minute after that.
ETA: You know what? I take the back
When I first met one of my good friends I complimented her hair and her response rubbed me the wrong way. I don't think she was trying to shade me but I was like . I didn't like her for a hot minute after that.
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claud-uk
Well-Known Member
Can't remember if you're on the "Any UK Ladies.." thread but girl, get ready to be multi-complimented before a very long "group" hair talk
Yup I complimented one of my schoolmates once but I think that she reacted the way she did because I proceeded to go and touch her hair without asking 
This was before I knew it was a big deal to do that lol. I still admire her hair when I see her but I NEVER bring up hair anymore. I think she's a member here but I just never asked...
This was before I knew it was a big deal to do that lol. I still admire her hair when I see her but I NEVER bring up hair anymore. I think she's a member here but I just never asked...
Je Ne Sais Quoi
Well-Known Member
She sounds like a snooty itchbay.
Not hair, but I have regretted complimenting someone's attire. I told someone I was on a line with that I loved her top and it was such a beautiful color. She frowned, rolled her eyes, and squeaked out a thanks. Never again . Now, I only compliment people that already look happy.
. Now, I only compliment people that already look happy.
Arian
Loc'ing Up!
When people compliment me on my hair, I always smile politely and answer their questions. But in my head, I'm thinking, "This hair is damaged right now. It is not as good as it looks." And then I feel sad...and then my expression changes...I'm sure people think I'm crazy
But when it's super duper healthy again, I'll be ready to give them all kinds of advice!
But when it's super duper healthy again, I'll be ready to give them all kinds of advice!
ProtectiveStyling
New Member
As crazy as it sounds, maybe she didn't understand your question the first time. For her to say "its all mine", she may become defensive quickly when asked about her hair because of so many ppl asking her if its a weave. You repeating your question was a good way of her rehearing the question. Heck it could be possible that she thought "wash n go" and "braid out" was a type of weave name being shes a newly natural 
.
-anyway, I love when ppl compliment my hair.
I'm not doing all this hard work for nothing. When my hair is at the point were it looks fake, I know I have done a darn good job.
.-anyway, I love when ppl compliment my hair.
I'm not doing all this hard work for nothing. When my hair is at the point were it looks fake, I know I have done a darn good job.
I complimented my little sister's friend (who's newly natural) on her hair. She complimented me on mine & assumed that I was natural. I told her that I was actually Texlaxed. She put on the judgmental stank face & proceeded to lecture me about natural hair. I had to cut her off with "Woah, 'scuse me honey boo boo... I was natural for 8 years. I went natural before you could spell it. I know my hair very well & I know what I'm doing, so please have several seats."..., okay, I didn't say it exactly like that
Hilarious!
I used to do that too. On days when my hair looks really shiny and cute this woman at owrk touches it and squeals "ohhh it's like butter. What conditioner is that?" I just look and say "don't get me started"
I directed her to the site I get my Dominican Products when my BSS doesn't have them. (Found that site browsing another thread here by the way - you ladies are great!)
Girllll that was the second thing I thought. After the first which was "dang, her hair is bouncy" as I watched her walk away.
As crazy as it sounds, maybe she didn't understand your question the first time. For her to say "its all mine", she may become defensive quickly when asked about her hair because of so many ppl asking her if its a weave. You repeating your question was a good way of her rehearing the question. Heck it could be possible that she thought "wash n go" and "braid out" was a type of weave name being shes a newly natural
-anyway, I love when ppl compliment my hair.
You know, you might be on to something...when she said "wash n go" I did a mental
erplexed kinda face. For a split second I said to myself "she probably don't even know what that means". But she was snooty with the "it's all mine". Oh well. Pretty hair is pretty hair even if she was being witchy about it.
Napp
In hair purgatory
i remember complimenting someone on their hair. it looked so beautiful and shiny from the front. she was really taken aback. then when she passed by i looked at again but from the back and i was like
It was JACKED UP.
now i know to look at the back and the front before i give out compliments. LOL
It was JACKED UP.
now i know to look at the back and the front before i give out compliments. LOL
Dayjoy
Old School Member
I'm not very good at spotting weaves and wigs and I'm kind of shy on top of that. I saw a lady in a store near my house once and I loved the fullness and shine of her hair. At the time I was really searching for a new stylist near me so I wouldn't have to drive all the way downtown anymore. I walked around for a few minutes and built up the courage to approach her and ask where she got her hair done. I walked up to her and said what I had rehearsed. She gave me the old "Oh, I do it myself" and wasn't as pleasant as I would expect a person to be after receiving the very nice compliment I had given her. I walked on and took one last look back and realized IT WAS A WIG. I was SO EMBARRASSED and felt like a real jerk for asking about her hair. Now, I just admire hair from afar.
JazziLady!
Well-Known Member
Dayjoy said:
But I bet you made her day!!!!
NappyNelle
Kinky Coily 4A, Fine Strands, WSL
I compliment people all the time and I don't take it personally if the person isn't very nice. Anything can be going on in their life that can affect their response.
very true! which is why i didn't get offended when she visibly sighed at me. Maybe I should have backed off then and I missed my mark
If she said thank you, rolled her eyes and flipped me off I guess I would have considered it a bad day.
CHI10
Well-Known Member
it's happened to me a few times..i didn't regret giving the compliments tho...i feel like, having a bad day is no excuse to be nasty..more often than not, the person being nasty IS a nasty person..no matter how crappy i feel..i will muster up a thank you..and maybe a weak smile
