HAD A HATER MOMENT TODAY

[preciousstone]

I just had to share... my lil hateration moment today

So I live near an ivy league university and was in a coffee shop today. At one point i just sorta scanned the room.. and everyone in the room was either BSL or WL... the only thing is.. they were all Caucasian. And just for a sec, I was all haterationing on them... like... why do they get to have bsl and wl and I have to try so hard just to get a lil sl?

I know it's petty but am just being real.. I really felt that.. be honest ladies.. have you ever had such a moment? Or am I just a hater?

 

[hopeful]

Girl don't hate, appreciate. Okay, I couldn't help myself. Honestly I'm rarely somewhere where everyone is bsl and wl, so idk maybe if I was in that situation I would be a little jelly too. I just tend to not be jealous though, I tend to admire and feel inspired. Stay focused on achieving your goals.

 

[raloftin]

No your not a hater...I have had those same thoughts myself...Thats real talk or should I say, real thoughtserplexed

I'm sure we're not the only ones. Hang in there, we'll be there one day(I hope)

 

[Amerie123]

i wouldn't say that's hating, but it is true that clear people don't do much to get BSL, while a lot of colored women have to work harder at it due to the type of hair we have. So, its just lettin' your frustrations out a little bit. But I always look on the positive side, and think my hair will be worth more when it gets there because you appreciate something more when you work a little bit for it.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

I've never been anywhere where everyone was at least bsl. So I'm amused and I'm at NYU in grad school now and have friends at columbia. I'm more amazed at that. My hair is MBL but even when it wasn't I didn't hate. Now of course you can wish that your hair could grow faster (I've done that a million times. I'm doing that now because I want TBL) but that's not the same as being annoyed at someone else for being where I want to.

Where is this amazing area? Okay we're all supposed to stay incognito on the board. Just wishing I knew lol!

 

[yuriko]

I agree that its not hateration. I feel the same way. Sometimes I am upset at how easily my friends of other races can acheive long and healthy hair. But I wouldn't trade my good skin for their hair.

When you reach your goals, it will be way more special that the Caucasian girl's long hair, trust me

 

[Keedah]

Dont hate...cause you dont know if all that hair is theirs. I had a really good white friend I referred to the guy that did my weaves and she always got her weaves in platinum blonde about MBL. One white girl I was working with had HER TRACKS SHOWING. I thought it was her hair until I saw that and I didnt say a thing!

Sometimes they are wearing fake hair but no one thinks of it.

 

[Bellanica]

Dont hate...cause you dont know if all that hair is theirs. I had a really good white friend I referred to the guy that did my weaves and she always got her weaves in platinum blonde about MBL. One white girl I was working with had HER TRACKS SHOWING. I thought it was her hair until I saw that and I didnt say a thing!

Sometimes they are wearing fake hair but no one thinks of it.

Amen!! The white women here where I live wear weave like it's going out of style. And they spend a lot of money on it too. I was in one BSS looking for the Bohyme Brazilian and there was this lady who was getting 22" Platinum Blonde Bohyme at $120 per package. And she got like 5 plus she had to pay for the install. It seems like where I live way more white women wear weaves than the black ones. Especially the fusion weaves. But then again, I live in So Cal, so that could explain a lot of it. There's a lot of collagen, fake boobs, and Botox Queens here too.

 

[BroadstreetBully]

Hey, it's real talk. I know it's frustrating, but you'll achieve your hair goals.

I used to work with white women who were amazed at how long women of color look well into "old" age. Everything is a trade off I guess.

 

[SmartyPants]

I just had to share... my lil hateration moment today

So I live near an ivy league university and was in a coffee shop today. At one point i just sorta scanned the room.. and everyone in the room was either BSL or WL... the only thing is.. they were all Caucasian. And just for a sec, I was all haterationing on them... like... why do they get to have bsl and wl and I have to try so hard just to get a lil sl?

I know it's petty but am just being real.. I really felt that.. be honest ladies.. have you ever had such a moment? Or am I just a hater?

I used to have these moments. But, since I've been on this board and have seen people who look like me with the same hair texture as mine grow their hair to the same lengths as Becki and Suzi, I don't hate because I know my hair can/will get there.

 

[Digital Tempest]

I agree that its not hateration. I feel the same way. Sometimes I am upset at how easily my friends of other races can acheive long and healthy hair. But I wouldn't trade my good skin for their hair.

When you reach your goals, it will be way more special that the Caucasian girl's long hair, trust me

And let the church say, "Amen."

Honestly, it doesn't bother me much to see women of other races with long hair, but it does inspire me to keep taking care of my hair. But I don't think by any means the way you felt was hating. We all get that way at some point or another on something that's important to us. Sometimes, it's hair. Sometimes, it's other things.

 

[BlackHairDiva]

I can relate, I used to react the same way. But thanks to this forum my reaction is the same. When I see people like that I know that I can reach the same hair length, I also like that I can do so many things to my hair relaxed or not. I also love all the Ayurveda care/ regimen we have. I love my 4a hair and would not trade it for the world.

 

[Likeyouneverseenme]

ALL THE TIME!
There is this girl on campus who has classic length hair and I want to chop it off and glue it to my scalp.
Another girl who sat in front of me in class had WL hair, thick, shiny and with perfect ends. One day she just rolled in to class with an ear length bob. I was really upset.

Oh well, one fine day...

 

[Blessed_Angel]

I just had to share... my lil hateration moment today

So I live near an ivy league university and was in a coffee shop today. At one point i just sorta scanned the room.. and everyone in the room was either BSL or WL... the only thing is.. they were all Caucasian. And just for a sec, I was all haterationing on them... like... why do they get to have bsl and wl and I have to try so hard just to get a lil sl?

I know it's petty but am just being real.. I really felt that.. be honest ladies.. have you ever had such a moment? Or am I just a hater?

No, you're not a hater; you're just being honest with yourself.

I'm sure there are many Black women who have asked themselves the same thing. I know I have; but I've since learned to love my hair and the way that it is.

When I was in elementary school I was predominately around Puerto Ricans. And I remember how they used to cut their hair in June for the summer, and when we got back in September, their hair was already back past their shoulders. I used to think, dang, how convenient!! I'd laugh to myself and brush it off. I didn't let it deter me from loving who I am nor what I got. God gave it to me; I'm gonna make it flourish!

 

[that_1_grrrl]

Can't say that's happened to me yet. Most White women I see, even if their hair is long, have such damaged, unattractive hair. I don't really care for it. But, when I see a lot of the non-Black Latin girls where I live with their mostly WL hair, I just start imagining my hair being that long. No hate. My best friend has TBL hair. I love her hair for the most part (it always feels like straw though), and I told her I was growing my hair out, so we could be hair twins.

There is one girl I saw at my college who has beautiful dark TBL hair. It was so gorgeous. I now have a hetero crush on hair.

 

[HoneyA]

Where I live, I see WW with all lengths of hair. Thay are a lot fewer BW. The thing that I realise is that many of them have long hair but it's not healthy looking (just long and limp) and just as many of them have hair shorter than mine that is not healthy looking. That said I have seen a few with thick, healthy hair BSL or longer. Seen 2 or 3 TBLs with wavy thick hair. I am also well aware that some of them do wear weave.

ETA: I also used to think that my hair grew very slowly compared to women of other races. I get average growth but others will tell me my hair grows quickly. It's the amount of hair I retain that makes it seem like it grows super quickly. It's the same thing I think for women of other races who "appear" to have super hair growth, they have an easier time retaining their growth for whatever reason because some of their hair care practices leave me wondering how on earth they manage to retain so much growth. Of course some of them will also have growth that is above average.

So no, after I realised all of the above I don't have "hater moments" anymore

 

[RavenMaven]

Could have been weave

 

[vestaluv1]

I understand where you're coming from, but I wouldn't call it hatin'.
It is a little bit irritating when it seems like caucasians and asians can neglect their hair and still retain length.
Cause after all, ofcourse our type of hair grows just as fast but we just have to take extra care of our hair to retain the length.

 

[preciousstone]

ALL THE TIME!
There is this girl on campus who has classic length hair and I want to chop it off and glue it to my scalp.
Another girl who sat in front of me in class had WL hair, thick, shiny and with perfect ends. One day she just rolled in to class with an ear length bob. I was really upset.

Oh well, one fine day...

I CAN SEE HOW THAT WOULD BE ANNOYING.


ETA: thanks ladies for your honest responses..