Great/sweet things in past relationships you want to keep with you

[CarLiTa]

The thread on keeping relationships fresh got me thinking: is there anything sweet/great that you want to keep from old relationships?

Not "things" as in material stuff... but behaviors, practices, memories, etc.

What positive things/experiences have you learned/gained from past relationships that you want to take with you to the future one(s)?

Care to share? I'll come back later.

 

[Ganjababy]

I cannot think of any at the moment but my DH always waits for me to come in to have dinner with him. Sometimes I don't reach home until 10pm. I never wait for him if I am home before him and he is always a bit disappointed. I am thinking I will make the effort to wait and have dinner with him whenever I am home before him.

 

[sj10460]

One of my exes would email me weekly words. Sometimes they were poems, letter or just notes of random things showing his appreciation and love for me. It was really sweet because he would change the weekday he would email me so I was always surprised.

 

[Dizz]

My ex was very forthcoming and clear in communication. If there was ANYTHING I wanted or needed to know, he would tell me--and it was VERY rare that I ever had to ask; he would volunteer the information. I hear so often about men lying through their teeth to their wives and girlfriends and I can't imagine what it must be like to constantly have to pull and snatch for fragments of truth.

I fully expect my future husband to be in open communication with me, and I with him.

(I don't think this is quite what you were referring to OP, but it came to mind. )

 

[Arian]

Watching cartoons with my ex and spending lazy Saturdays making CDs of our favorite songs to use for...erm, "private time"...

But at the same time, I want to make new traditions and memories with someone new. I would feel guilty doing the same things I used to do with my ex...I'm weird.

 

[CarLiTa]

oh snap. I'm clearly ADD because I forgot about this thread

let me add something...

-Activities spreadsheet: I am an avid planner and I get excited about making lists. My ex and I used to do this thing where we'd chart out the stuff we wanted to do (color-coded and everything lol) so that we would make sure we do them. I started this because we tended to feed off each other's energy a lot, and sometimes he and I would have plans and he'd just be like, nah, let's stay in and cuddle And while that's great, I'd sometimes get really frustrated. So, it was like an accountability thing for us Plus, it was very cute.

-Heavy involvement into each other's cultures. We were an inter-cultural couple, and part-interracial, and we had a lot to learn about the other's culture. So, he sometimes had a list of movies that I needed to watch, or he would school me on African-American history or art. I would do the same for mine. We explored each other's music a lot, as well as the dancing.
This was great because when he did come to visit my parents' house, it was CLEAR that he was SO INTO and EXCITED about my culture, which made my parents like him even more I'd be hesitant to be with someone who isn't inquisitive about my culture and doesn't want to adopt certain parts of it.

 

[ThickHair]

My good morning email M-F and my Sa-Su good morning text msg's.

 

[MzLady78]

My good morning email M-F and my Sa-Su good morning text msg's.

Such a simple thing, but the day definitely doesn't feel complete when you don't get them.

 

[CurliDiva]

My last BF and I would have long distance MOVIE NIGHTS! We each made a list of our favorite movies, and we would sit on the phone, watch and discuss a movie in detail. Like when I introduced him to my favorite chick flick, Under the Tuscan Sun - he noticed some interesting points!

We also wrote a “love” story together - he would write a scene and sends it to me, then I would write some and send it back to him.

 

[Theo]

I have a lot of sweet memories from my past relationships, but I think they should stay there. I have a scrapbook my roomie from college made me, my ex is all up and thru that thing... We were crazy

My next relationship was totally different, and we had a lot of things that were unique to us that I loved. I look forward to having new "things" with the next guy.

 

[ElizaBlue]

Midnight seafood and veggie grilling, followed by a long midnight swim sans the cotton and polyester...lol.

 

[ThirdEyeBeauty]

Walks on the beach (or park) nightly after work.

 

[CurliDiva]

I have some questions...how do you bring or suggest these things into a new relationship?

Do you just act like the "idea" just popped into your head?...ex. let's take a walk, let's go skinny dipping.

Or do you lead by example? with for example with frequent texts, curling up to watch cartoons and hope he joins in, etc....

I would never want a new guy to think that I have a dating "routine". That's why I never answer or ask "what do you like in bed" type questions. If someone gets too specific - your legs need to be at a 65-degree angle to the left, on a full moon and while humming happy birthday – I would be totally turned off.

IMO, each relationship should be approached fresh without a blueprint.

 

[CarLiTa]

I see what you're saying. I would be turned off if someone said to me that we should do xyz in a way that suggested it came from a previous relationship. Actually, it's happened, and yes, I was turned off by that. However, I'd probably lead by example... the 2 things I mentioned upthread are easily replicable. The first is something I like to do regardless. The 2nd is a quality that I would just watch out for... I really would not consider a relationship with someone who isn't culturally curious and who does not show excitement about my culture... or with someone who doesn't show eagerness to get to know my family. I won't say that this is common for all relationships, because I've seen that it's not.
In some cases, I would be willing to lead by example. There are things that I learned that I value while I was in my last relationship (as in, I did not know that I valued those things before that relationship), and these are values that I want to take with me. I would be fine with showing a new SO that these things are important to me, not by saying, "well, my ex used to do this/that and I liked it," but by framing it from a value perspective.

 

[Godyssey]

I would never want a new guy to think that I have a dating "routine".

IMO, each relationship should be approached fresh without a blueprint.

I didn't know that having a routine was a thing. I wonder if it's just people who were dumped and are trying to replace their ex that do this?

Otherwise, why would you want someone to act like someone you had in the past?

I guess that was all off topic. Hmm... I remember when I used to work nights. My husband would drive to my job and start my car for me before I got off, so it would be warm and toasty for me when I was ready to drive home. Not a past relationship, but a sweet past memory.

 

[Maracujá]

sex marathons

Showering together
Sending e-mails to each other
Having insider jokes