I've seen a few woman say that they went natural for their daughters because they didn't want to send the message to them that they have to have straight hair to be beautiful. But I don't think I've ever heard of the same thing being done for sons. Has anyone here gone natural or would you ever go natural for your son to cut down on the chances that he'll grow up idealizing straight hair on women because his mom had it?
Going Natural For Sons?
- Thread starter loshed
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miss stress
Well-Known Member
I have never heard of tht but it doesnt seem like a bad idea at all to me I would hate to raise a blk son who hates blk features like alot of blk men do nowadays like (lil wayne)
BlkOnyx488
Well-Known Member
I have two boys and I didn't go natural specifically for them. However, now that I have I am glad I did. My children are biracial and they have type 1 hair.
And I think I would be doing them a great disservice if I spent their childhood trying to have "hair like theirs"
I AM NOT SAYING SISTAS WHO RELAX ARE TRYING TO HAVE LILLY HAIR, I just feel like that is the message my children would recieve.
Although I think with all the stuff they see me do to my hair they are starting to dislike my hair anyways. When I am cornrowing my hair my 9 year old will roll his eyes
and say "you are always messing with your hair" 
I can't win.
And I think I would be doing them a great disservice if I spent their childhood trying to have "hair like theirs"
I AM NOT SAYING SISTAS WHO RELAX ARE TRYING TO HAVE LILLY HAIR, I just feel like that is the message my children would recieve.
Although I think with all the stuff they see me do to my hair they are starting to dislike my hair anyways. When I am cornrowing my hair my 9 year old will roll his eyes
and say "you are always messing with your hair" I can't win.
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Evolving78
Well-Known Member
my man child did play a part in me deciding to go natural. i'm growing his hair out too.
Afrolatina
New Member
Actually, that was a motivation of mine when I BC'd in 2006...
eventually, one day, I knew kids were in the cards for me (two DDs now! yay!) and I figured I couldn't keep perming throughout my pregnancy, but, more importantly, I wanted my kids to appreciate that mommy loves herself the way she is and that is reason enough for them to be able to love themselves too... Its funny.. flash forward to now, when I had my first DD, I could tell by the way she looked at me, would put her tiny hands in my hair that she loved me and loved her momma's big hair.. in fact, she's a toddler now and is in LOVE with hair... the sad part is shortly after she was just a few months, a woman put chemicals in my hair (I didn't know she had put anything other than hairdress) and I lost my hair. I found out through this experience that my hair defined what mommy "should be" for her...and now when I show her pics from back then, she will throw the picture or start crying- she looks at the pictures as if she doesn't know it's me... it really hurts my heart even though i'm about shoulder length now.
I definitely would do it for my son, even if I had no daughters.
I feel this opens their minds up to the possibility of beauty in all of its varying forms... and allows them to possibly love these features about whatever women they encounter in their lives when they grow up...I think it's very important to expose children to as many different stimuli as possible, especially when it highlights uniqueness and doesn't follow conventional beauty standards. I wouldn't worry much, nor do I care much if he would idealize straight hair on women, but I would want him to know that he should love and accept himself just the way he is because he is inherently beautiful and he can do so naturally without altering himself for any reason.
makeupvixen
Well-Known Member
I have to confess that YES I am guilty of it. I have a 2 year old son and I want him to have pride in our hair. I love me a chocolate man and his father is straight up chocolate directly from Ghana Africa. I;m half Trini myself. I want him to really love everything about himself including our hair.
I think it's a problem that I have faced when dating men and being around men so much. My best friend got married, a nice dark brotha, to a Philipinno gurl and it was mostly because of her hair, his confession. They are complete opposites. I knew him for years and all the girls he dated had to be light skinned and have waist length straight hair. Then my mom's friend was the same way. Then my ex boyfriend only thought I looked attractive with straight long hair. Well I don't want my son to think that Afro Textured Hair is bad and if he likes straight hair and non-black women in the end then so be it but it wont be because Momma raised him that way.
At my friends wedding I felt bad because his mother mentioned how he didn't really date black women, I knew she was a little hurt my his choice. I don't know how I will act if my son ended up the same way. I wanted to tell his mom that your son is vein but I couldn't do that. He told me he got teased for having curly hair as a child and I know that's why he doesn't want his kids to have Afro textured hair, deep down I wish his kids does have it so he can learn to love his own hair for the sake of his children.
But I do want to show my son that mommy can do all the things a straight haired non-black woman can do. I can go swimming and get my hair wet, I can change up my style, I have more options, I can work any style and get tons of compliments on it.
Oh and I keep my son with a TWA so he can love his own hair and not feel that he has to have it shaved off all the time. He has to learn to love his hair, love his mom's hair and then love his future wife's hair.
Yup, at the young age of 2 I'm already setting the foundation for him to be a respectful Black Man and to cherish the Black woman, sorry but the work of raising a strong black man starts now! I will be damned if Obama is the only Black President we have, I'm already working hard at raising us another one to be proud of. I'm a strict parent, sorry, but my son already opens doors for girls, helps bring in the groceries for my elderly neighbors, says please and thank you, and says good morning to everyone he meets, yup, at age 2, and He will be a good man with God's help and HE WILL LOVE the Black Woman so help me God!
I think it's a problem that I have faced when dating men and being around men so much. My best friend got married, a nice dark brotha, to a Philipinno gurl and it was mostly because of her hair, his confession. They are complete opposites. I knew him for years and all the girls he dated had to be light skinned and have waist length straight hair. Then my mom's friend was the same way. Then my ex boyfriend only thought I looked attractive with straight long hair. Well I don't want my son to think that Afro Textured Hair is bad and if he likes straight hair and non-black women in the end then so be it but it wont be because Momma raised him that way.
At my friends wedding I felt bad because his mother mentioned how he didn't really date black women, I knew she was a little hurt my his choice. I don't know how I will act if my son ended up the same way. I wanted to tell his mom that your son is vein but I couldn't do that. He told me he got teased for having curly hair as a child and I know that's why he doesn't want his kids to have Afro textured hair, deep down I wish his kids does have it so he can learn to love his own hair for the sake of his children.
But I do want to show my son that mommy can do all the things a straight haired non-black woman can do. I can go swimming and get my hair wet, I can change up my style, I have more options, I can work any style and get tons of compliments on it.
Oh and I keep my son with a TWA so he can love his own hair and not feel that he has to have it shaved off all the time. He has to learn to love his hair, love his mom's hair and then love his future wife's hair.
Yup, at the young age of 2 I'm already setting the foundation for him to be a respectful Black Man and to cherish the Black woman, sorry but the work of raising a strong black man starts now! I will be damned if Obama is the only Black President we have, I'm already working hard at raising us another one to be proud of. I'm a strict parent, sorry, but my son already opens doors for girls, helps bring in the groceries for my elderly neighbors, says please and thank you, and says good morning to everyone he meets, yup, at age 2, and He will be a good man with God's help and HE WILL LOVE the Black Woman so help me God!
That lil wayne thread (plus a video that was posted recently were woman mentioned her daughter as one of the reasons she as transitioning)was what got me wondering if this ever happened.
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