Frustrated Transitioner!

[knt1229]

I am 16 months post relaxer and I am seriously thinking of doing the BC. My natural hair is different lengths all over. Some is ear lobe length, some is nape length and some is at the bottom of my neck. I am so frustrated with it right now. It's soft and moisturized. I just can't style it.

Now that have alot of natural hair it won't do any of the things it used to do. I am not even sure of the hair type anymore because it's starting to look different too. Those nasty relaxed ends just lay there looking kind of greasy and frozen. My natural hair.... well I don't know what that is doing. I'm so frustrated with my hair. My transition was so easy up until lately. Now it's sooo hard.

I am scared of BCing because I am having a hard time styling it now. I feel it will be even harder to style once I cut it. I don't think I am going to have a TWA. My fro looks like it will be more medium sized.

Please help me with some styles I can do now or that I may be able to do if I BC. I am so scared of looking bad if I BC and don't know how to fix it.

Please help me!

 

[BlaqBella]

Have you been bunning, braidouts, rollersets,etc.?
The ladies strongly suggest (some do) trying to bun orsomething for a week and then see how you feel before deciding to bc...hth.

 

[so1913]

I BC'd at 16 months. It was a challenge getting used to the new length and new textures, I had some heat damage to the top front of my hair where my texture is looser, but I had a good amount of natural hair to play with and I was determined to follow through on this journey. It felt so good to get rid of those relaxed ends after all those months and so much easier to handle once I was dealing with all natural hair.

IF you decide to BC, for styling I would suggest getting some acessories...headbands, including the ouchless elastic kind various barretts/clips to position and clip various pieces of hair into a style.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

BC and work with your natural hair. I bet your hair is gorgeous!

 

[Austro-Afrikana]

How about you give yourself a break from your hair and put it in braids?

 

[Blessedmocha]

How about you give yourself a break from your hair and put it in braids?

ITA

Try braiding or weaving for a while. This helps me get over my frustration

 

[Grand Prix]

How about a nice simple bun for a few days. Fast and easy and it will give you a couple of days to decide whether you want to BC or continue your transition.

What changed to make your transition so easy and then suddenly hard?

Also, if your relaxed ends are looking all greasy and stiff, have you tried clarifying?

 

[Ms.Christ3n]

I BC'd roughly 17-18 months and my BC length is in my siggy. I can't put it in a low bun and my twists don't look good like these other ladies, so I wear a wash-n-go.
My hair has been THRIVING doing wash-n-gos and since doing the BC.
You're going to have to learn your natural hair eventually...
Braid outs, buns, twist outs, and braids are great transitioning styles.
Do what you think is best for you and your hair.

 

[andromeda]

Hey, I'm also thinking about BCing. I'm only 12 months post and I'm trying to approach the decision to BC from a logical mindset.

Here's something I asked myself: "Is my consideration to BC rational or emotional? Am I BCing out of frustration, disgust [towards stringy relaxed ends], contentment, excitement or practicality?" You've already answered this question - you're frustrated. Now you have to clear your mind and consider it from a practical perspective. You might want to ask yourself, "What problems will BCing solve for me?". Here's a more detailed breakdown of the approach I'm taking, laid out in a table format:

hair in its current state | hair post-bc​

style & appearance

lifestyle

care&regimen

products

likelihood of relaxing


Here are some questions that go along with this chart:
Appearance
- Will I be comfortable with my hair at the post-bc length?

-Do I have a grasp of styles that I will wear and do these styles complement my lifestyle (work, events, exercise, etc.)?

-What styling options will I be missing out on if I BC?

-Have I accepted my texture?

Regimen+ Hair Health
-Will BCing make my hair easier to care for?

-How will BCing affect my regimen?

-How will BCing affect my product lineup?

-If I find myself in a rut after BCing, would I be in danger of relaxing?

To answer your question about what styles are feasible on 16months post natural hair, I think bantu-knotted twist outs are a great look, especially with a nice headband and some strategically placed hairpins. Then again, this is also a style that can be done on transitioning hair. I agree with the other ladies - when in doubt, hide your hair! You can do braids, twists (I just did these last week and although my relaxed ends weren't as plump as my new growth, the style looked great pulled back in a bun), [half] wigs or weaves.

eta: also, feel free to hang out in the transitioners support thread and check out mummyigrl's excellent transitioning styles thread
HTH!

 

[knt1229]

How about a nice simple bun for a few days. Fast and easy and it will give you a couple of days to decide whether you want to BC or continue your transition.

What changed to make your transition so easy and then suddenly hard?

Also, if your relaxed ends are looking all greasy and stiff, have you tried clarifying?

It was easy because I could easily style my hair. I rollerset up until 9-10 months but I stopped because I started noticing broken hair on the rollers. Then I started to slick it back and put it up using headbands and a claw clip. It would slick back easily with just a brush and a scarf. Now it won't lay down or smooth out.

I clarify once a month. I think the relaxed ends don't like the moisturizer I am using whereas the natural hair loves it.

 

[knt1229]

Thank ladies for responding I will search for some buns on YT. I am not in a position to get weave or braids at the moment. Twists and braidouts don't look right because of the relaxed ends but I am going to look up some different techniques on YT to see if maybe I can make them work. May as well figure out how to do them before I BC anyway.

Thanks!

 

[knt1229]

Hey, I'm also thinking about BCing. I'm only 12 months post and I'm trying to approach the decision to BC from a logical mindset.

Here's something I asked myself: "Is my consideration to BC rational or emotional? Am I BCing out of frustration, disgust [towards stringy relaxed ends], contentment, excitement or practicality?" You've already answered this question - you're frustrated. Now you have to clear your mind and consider it from a practical perspective. You might want to ask yourself, "What problems will BCing solve for me?". Here's a more detailed breakdown of the approach I'm taking, laid out in a table format:

hair in its current state | hair post-bc​

style & appearance

lifestyle

care&regimen

products

likelihood of relaxing


Here are some questions that go along with this chart:
Appearance
- Will I be comfortable with my hair at the post-bc length?

-Do I have a grasp of styles that I will wear and do these styles complement my lifestyle (work, events, exercise, etc.)?

-What styling options will I be missing out on if I BC?

-Have I accepted my texture?

Regimen+ Hair Health
-Will BCing make my hair easier to care for?

-How will BCing affect my regimen?

-How will BCing affect my product lineup?

-If I find myself in a rut after BCing, would I be in danger of relaxing?

To answer your question about what styles are feasible on 16months post natural hair, I think bantu-knotted twist outs are a great look, especially with a nice headband and some strategically placed hairpins. Then again, this is also a style that can be done on transitioning hair. I agree with the other ladies - when in doubt, hide your hair! You can do braids, twists (I just did these last week and although my relaxed ends weren't as plump as my new growth, the style looked great pulled back in a bun), [half] wigs or weaves.

eta: also, feel free to hang out in the transitioners support thread and check out mummyigrl's excellent transitioning styles thread
HTH!

Thank you for your post. The questions to consider definitely helps me put some things in perspective.

 

[asubeauty]

OMG, I could have posted this thread myself! I'm going through the same thing, but since my mini-chop, I don't have enough hair to make a bun.

OP, please report back and let us know how everything worked out.

 

[Chameleonchick]

I think your new growth at 16 months post s a good amount to work with, but I you aren't ready yet don't do it because once you cut you can't cut back. Maybe put in a set of braids until you decide what is right for you and you are completely sure about it.

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

just do the bc. you will get to learn your natural hair and what styles you prefer eventually. even if they styles are busted in the beginning, it will get better in time. but save yourself some frustration; for me, dealing with half natural/relaxed hair was worse than having tow up hair styles after the bc. ♥

 

[southerncitygirl]

if you you scared to chop do medium to large sized cornrows, wigs, or half wigs for another couple of months, its getting warmer and you'll be getting a good growth spurt very soon.

 

[Ms.Christ3n]

I completely agree with VainJane! Even though I had no clue what to do with my natural hair after I BC'd, I was so happy because I finally got what I had transitioned so long for, natural hair! I no longer had to worry about those dreadful stringy relaxed ends which were starting to frustrate/irritate me.