First date strategy . . . who should contact whom first?

[Glib Gurl]

You went out on a date. You had a nice time. You would like to out with that person again. You think he would like to also, but you're not 100% sure.

Should you contact him first or wait for him to contact you?

 

[hopeful]

I don't see a problem with calling a guy to say thanks if it was a really nice date. If I had a really good time I would say so. But I would not suggest the second date.

 

[CAPlush]

I would say that whoever asked for the 1st date should ask for the 2nd date as well. But I agree with hopeful that it would be ok to call (or text, etc.) to say you had a good time so that the person knows you would say yes to a 2nd date.

 

[Ms Red]

Ideally he should beat you to the punch. But if it doesn't happen like that, don't be afraid to call and say 'thank you.' ITA w/ Hopeful though... don't offer/bring up a second date, let him do it.

 

[Glib Gurl]

Ideally he should beat you to the punch. But if it doesn't happen like that, don't be afraid to call and say 'thank you.' ITA w/ Hopeful though... don't offer/bring up a second date, let him do it.

That's where I am right now . . . I gotcha.

 

[topsyturvy86]

I agee with hopeful, although I think a text might better.

 

[inthepink]

You went out on a date. You had a nice time. You would like to out with that person again. You think he would like to also, but you're not 100% sure.

Should you contact him first or wait for him to contact you?

Wait for him to contact you. I'm all about letting the man take the role of initiator - especially at this point in the game.

 

[inthepink]

I agee with hopeful, although I think a text might better.

Yeah, me too b/c I'd be worried what else we'd discuss - especially if he wasn't interested. I guess I'd be more likely to make sure he knew I enjoyed the date before the date ended and then leave the rest up to him.

 

[GeorginaSparks]

I wait....normally if the guy is really into you, he will set up a 2nd date before the 1st date is over. I do let the guy know that I had a great time....to give him the hint that Im interested.

 

[Lucie]

Well, like Sunbasque said, normally on the first date, he ends up discussing the next date. I would wait for him to call first. I am old-fashioned about that stuff. Good luck!

 

[juju]

If you really like the guy and yopu had a nice time judst call him ad say thank you "i had a lovely time yesterday" why waste time when you know you like him .

 

[JustKiya]

I'd contact him, thank him for the lovely evening, and give him an open to ask to repeat it. Depending on how the date went, I might suggest a followup (if we brought something up, etc), 'Let me know if you still want to go to see the Abstract Art at the MMA next week' - something along those lines - but not an out and out asking.
I'll pay for my dinner, but I be damned if I have to ask you to take me to dinner, too.

 

[CurliDiva]

Not to steal this thread (.......I think you should wait for him to make contact since I'm sure you showed enthusiasm and thanked him during the date....) I hate TEXT MESSAGES during the first phase a relationship.

Once we have established, then fine text me to let me know that you are running late or miss me, but during the GETTING-TO-KNOW-U stage, please call!

Texting just seems like WIMPY way to reach out to a relative stranger......erplexed

 

[MissJ]

I haven't been on many first dates, but of the ones I've been on the guys asked for a second date during the first date.

I would wait for the guy to contact me, but if you don't I wouldn't contact him via text like CurliDiva said. Also, how long has it been since the date?

 

[trj1922]

This is interesting. I generally let the guy do the contacting because I've learned that if a man is really interested, you don't have to wait and wonder because he's "on it." I find that by contacting him, especially if enough time has elapsed that it puts his genuine interest into question, I just waste time. If he didn't hate you, he may reciprocate and agree to more dates but end the end he still really isn't interested and probably just wants the attention or wants a social activity until someone he's interested in come along.

That having been said, if you want to call, do so. I just wouldn't be the one to suggest a second date.

 

[kayte]

I just wouldn't be the one to suggest a second date.

ITA
you'll be setting an uncomfortable precedent...
and easily find yourself setting up #3 ,#4 and so forth
as a way of your dating...

it's fun to let him go after you! and important to him to feel
as he does...that you are worth pursuing....
& if this one does not ..another one will

I know that's disappointing...and frustrating
but in the long run ..you save some major heartache
using restraint...and seeing exactly where he's at...
rather than trying to "help things along" lol

as trj1922 said ..it is how you learn
if he is truly interested or not...

 

[HoneyA]

This is interesting. I generally let the guy do the contacting because I've learned that if a man is really interested, you don't have to wait and wonder because he's "on it." I find that by contacting him, especially if enough time has elapsed that it puts his genuine interest into question, I just waste time. If he didn't hate you, he may reciprocate and agree to more dates but end the end he still really isn't interested and probably just wants the attention or wants a social activity until someone he's interested in come along.

That having been said, if you want to call, do so. I just wouldn't be the one to suggest a second date.

Ditto. Couldn't have said it better!

 

[Belle Du Jour]

I agree with everyone who said to wait. Men are really funny but I'm really firm on certain things. I recently went out on a blind date. No sparks though. I didn't call and neither did he. Well, apparently he called the person who set us up to see where I'm at. Just from that little action, I know he's definitely a next. The right one will make the effort.

 

[deltadreamland]

I just played the waiting game with a date this week and it paid off. We went on our first date Saturday night. We were really into each other and we mentioned "the next time" during that date. I really like this guy and was wanting to talk to him during the week, but I didn't call. He finally called Wednesday night and left a "sweet" voice message. He was actually waiting on me to call him, but that is so NOT how I operate. I called him back the next day and we had another great date last night.

 

[song_of_serenity]

When I went on a date with a guy in Florida during my vacation, before the car even pulled off (my sister drove us and dropped him home) he texted me and said "OMG, you're AWESOME!"

If he didn't text/call...I would have waited until later on that night and texted saying "I had a wonderful time!" just to keep that communication open and let him know how I felt. He was as nervous as I was, so sometimes they leave it up to the girl to "let it be known" how things went so they'll at least not get hurt pride if they chose to persue.
~*Janelle~*