SvelteVelvet
Well-Known Member
This is soooo long, I'm sorry, but I'd really appreciate some insight on this from the Christian ladies of the board, not so much on the past but the present time. When presenting something, I just feel it's beneficial to give background to give you a clear view of where I'm coming from today. This can lead to a very great discussion as I notice many ladies on the board have trouble finding a church home. Hopefully my writing will keep your attention enough through what I've decided to share but if not, skip to the next post which gets to where I am at today and the questions I wanted to discuss on this subject of assembling ourselves are bolded. Thanks in advance for reading...
About 3 years ago, I started attending church again after almost a 10 year hiatus. A little background..I was raised in a house where it was mandatory for me to go to church. When I was 15, I decided that I no longer wanted to go to church and I fought tooth and nail with my mom one Sunday morning, I was dressed and everything and was crying my eyes out telling her I no longer wanted to go to 'that' church. It wasn't so much a rebellious or lazy thing. I was a young woman that considered myself saved and overtime there were several things in the leadership of the church that turned me off. Things that just weren't 'right'. And then there were two things that broke the camel's back for me. The female Apostle/Bishops wife coming to me with a false "God told me..." statement, and her thinking I wasn't smart enough to know that her daughter, who was my friend at the time, told her. And my rebellion to their 'house' rule that the young women should wear skirts ALL the time, even OUTSIDE the church, which my parents did not enforce with me, and the Bishop telling my father that if I didn't stop wearing pants, I was going to start having sex. I was LIVID when that got back to me, because I was a virgin not thinking of having sex anytime soon, and so the episode of me breaking out of the house rule of going to church. I didn't even tell my mother these things. I just pleaded with her and I won. I felt freer immediately. After a few weeks of me no longer going to church but spending my Sunday's cleaning the house and preparing dinner for my family (great practice for my cooking skills), the Apostle came to visit me at my house after a Sunday service. Her and the Bishop were relocating down south, and she wanted to see me before she left to ask if I was ok to which my answer was 'yes' and to also ask me if there was anything that she had done, to which I told her 'no' and said goodbye to her cordially. (Ironically, her constant skirt wearing daughters ended up pregnant before 18) and I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18, not that I'm proud of that, but based on that Bishops 'if she continue's to wear pants' prediction..I felt his skirt wearing daughters sexing around before I was a bit of karma. Also confirmation that I made the right decision to leave that establishment.
Fast forward 3 years ago, I was invited to a church by a friend during an emotionally low time in my life. It was a large congregation with a positive atmosphere, positive messages and missions. The service was run in the 'new school' way, no testimonial service. Just awesome singing and leadership into worship and praise by the praise and worship leaders, and great great sermons. I never became a member but I went pretty often during a year with my friend and after a while even when my friend wasn't going, I hopped in my car and went by myself. As a non-member I wasn't completely faithful, but for waking up on a Sunday and feeling like going to church it was a great place to know about. This church was out of town, but it was worth the drive and I attribute the improvement of my spirits and several areas of my life so quickly to attending that church.
Fast forward 1 year and a half ago, I hadn't been to the out of town church in a while. The last half of 2007, saw me having what seemed like a series of trials, just one thing after another, after another. I was going through tremendous stress that was not only life related but work related stress was added on top of it and by the beginning of 2008 I was at a serious breaking point. I was the type of person to internalize when 'going through' so I was on a mission to 'keep it together' but a point in time came when I realized 'I can't do this on my own'. On top of everything else, my car was giving me problems and I was lucky enough to make it to work so getting to that church was out of the question. So I started going to my parents church which was in town and was a branch out of the church we were going to when I was fifteen. After that Bishop and Apostle moved down south, the Bishops brother was ordained as a Pastor and him and his wife along with my parents started a new church.
In my failed attempt to make this short I'll try to wrap it up and get to the point here...
I became a member of that church and have been a member for about 1 year and a half. In comparison to the previous church I attended, it's much smaller and testimonial service is still in full effect..a church that prides itself on old songs and traditions. Despite this, the Pastor is a powerful speaker and great teacher of the Word and someone with life experiences that can encourage unique souls coming to Christ. During my time there my spirit was renewed and I grew a desire to draw closer to the Lord and His Word. 10 months into my membership I got re-baptized by water and several months later baptized by the Holy Spirit. After being baptized by the Holy Spirit, my faithfulness and activity in the church grew. It was all of a sudden the most important thing for me to be in church every time the doors were opened, when before I'd miss Sunday service once or twice a month, and the services in between the week as well. But my spirit had been renewed and I see it was a sense of my renewed spirit eager to nestle into the place I chosen as my church home, and to be a vessel there.
Within the last 3 months however, which is right around the time I was baptized by the Holy Spirit, I began to experience issues in the church. I had an inappropriate encounter with the Pastor, majorly inappropriate on his part, he initiated it. Nothing physical happened between us, and I don't want to get specific in the details because this is long enough as it is. But it was something that was during a service and something other members could pick up if they were paying attention, and several were. But him being the Pastor, he was forgiven but I went through a period of being 'looked at' a certain way from the direction of the Pastors wife and her family (which most of the church is made up of - and this isn't the wife he started the church with, this is a woman who was a member of the previous church who began having an affair with him and eventually his first wife became his ex and left the church, and him and this woman got married - They lost several members throughout the years because of her 'presence' and her family can 'act' so heavenly bound that they are no earthly good) I didn't allow that period to deter me from going to church. The wife and her family were on a mission to combat my spirit and my presence, in slick ways, but I stood strong. Through increasing my activity in the church, joining the praise team being there every service I was letting them know no matter what I wasn't going to be pushed out and they would just dig a deeper hole of being un-'Christ'-like and through the Pastor using his leadership to 'mend the fence' through his teachings and preachings, everything went back to Kumbayah. His wife even called me one day to make sure everything was 'okay' with us. Since we've done church outings, I've had conversations with the Pastor as my Pastor again, even after our little experience. And things have gone back with the wife as they were before.
About 3 years ago, I started attending church again after almost a 10 year hiatus. A little background..I was raised in a house where it was mandatory for me to go to church. When I was 15, I decided that I no longer wanted to go to church and I fought tooth and nail with my mom one Sunday morning, I was dressed and everything and was crying my eyes out telling her I no longer wanted to go to 'that' church. It wasn't so much a rebellious or lazy thing. I was a young woman that considered myself saved and overtime there were several things in the leadership of the church that turned me off. Things that just weren't 'right'. And then there were two things that broke the camel's back for me. The female Apostle/Bishops wife coming to me with a false "God told me..." statement, and her thinking I wasn't smart enough to know that her daughter, who was my friend at the time, told her. And my rebellion to their 'house' rule that the young women should wear skirts ALL the time, even OUTSIDE the church, which my parents did not enforce with me, and the Bishop telling my father that if I didn't stop wearing pants, I was going to start having sex. I was LIVID when that got back to me, because I was a virgin not thinking of having sex anytime soon, and so the episode of me breaking out of the house rule of going to church. I didn't even tell my mother these things. I just pleaded with her and I won. I felt freer immediately. After a few weeks of me no longer going to church but spending my Sunday's cleaning the house and preparing dinner for my family (great practice for my cooking skills), the Apostle came to visit me at my house after a Sunday service. Her and the Bishop were relocating down south, and she wanted to see me before she left to ask if I was ok to which my answer was 'yes' and to also ask me if there was anything that she had done, to which I told her 'no' and said goodbye to her cordially. (Ironically, her constant skirt wearing daughters ended up pregnant before 18) and I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18, not that I'm proud of that, but based on that Bishops 'if she continue's to wear pants' prediction..I felt his skirt wearing daughters sexing around before I was a bit of karma. Also confirmation that I made the right decision to leave that establishment.
Fast forward 3 years ago, I was invited to a church by a friend during an emotionally low time in my life. It was a large congregation with a positive atmosphere, positive messages and missions. The service was run in the 'new school' way, no testimonial service. Just awesome singing and leadership into worship and praise by the praise and worship leaders, and great great sermons. I never became a member but I went pretty often during a year with my friend and after a while even when my friend wasn't going, I hopped in my car and went by myself. As a non-member I wasn't completely faithful, but for waking up on a Sunday and feeling like going to church it was a great place to know about. This church was out of town, but it was worth the drive and I attribute the improvement of my spirits and several areas of my life so quickly to attending that church.
Fast forward 1 year and a half ago, I hadn't been to the out of town church in a while. The last half of 2007, saw me having what seemed like a series of trials, just one thing after another, after another. I was going through tremendous stress that was not only life related but work related stress was added on top of it and by the beginning of 2008 I was at a serious breaking point. I was the type of person to internalize when 'going through' so I was on a mission to 'keep it together' but a point in time came when I realized 'I can't do this on my own'. On top of everything else, my car was giving me problems and I was lucky enough to make it to work so getting to that church was out of the question. So I started going to my parents church which was in town and was a branch out of the church we were going to when I was fifteen. After that Bishop and Apostle moved down south, the Bishops brother was ordained as a Pastor and him and his wife along with my parents started a new church.
In my failed attempt to make this short I'll try to wrap it up and get to the point here...
I became a member of that church and have been a member for about 1 year and a half. In comparison to the previous church I attended, it's much smaller and testimonial service is still in full effect..a church that prides itself on old songs and traditions. Despite this, the Pastor is a powerful speaker and great teacher of the Word and someone with life experiences that can encourage unique souls coming to Christ. During my time there my spirit was renewed and I grew a desire to draw closer to the Lord and His Word. 10 months into my membership I got re-baptized by water and several months later baptized by the Holy Spirit. After being baptized by the Holy Spirit, my faithfulness and activity in the church grew. It was all of a sudden the most important thing for me to be in church every time the doors were opened, when before I'd miss Sunday service once or twice a month, and the services in between the week as well. But my spirit had been renewed and I see it was a sense of my renewed spirit eager to nestle into the place I chosen as my church home, and to be a vessel there.
Within the last 3 months however, which is right around the time I was baptized by the Holy Spirit, I began to experience issues in the church. I had an inappropriate encounter with the Pastor, majorly inappropriate on his part, he initiated it. Nothing physical happened between us, and I don't want to get specific in the details because this is long enough as it is. But it was something that was during a service and something other members could pick up if they were paying attention, and several were. But him being the Pastor, he was forgiven but I went through a period of being 'looked at' a certain way from the direction of the Pastors wife and her family (which most of the church is made up of - and this isn't the wife he started the church with, this is a woman who was a member of the previous church who began having an affair with him and eventually his first wife became his ex and left the church, and him and this woman got married - They lost several members throughout the years because of her 'presence' and her family can 'act' so heavenly bound that they are no earthly good) I didn't allow that period to deter me from going to church. The wife and her family were on a mission to combat my spirit and my presence, in slick ways, but I stood strong. Through increasing my activity in the church, joining the praise team being there every service I was letting them know no matter what I wasn't going to be pushed out and they would just dig a deeper hole of being un-'Christ'-like and through the Pastor using his leadership to 'mend the fence' through his teachings and preachings, everything went back to Kumbayah. His wife even called me one day to make sure everything was 'okay' with us. Since we've done church outings, I've had conversations with the Pastor as my Pastor again, even after our little experience. And things have gone back with the wife as they were before.