DOING IT ON YOUR OWN (LONG)

[azul11]

I am really contemplating doing my own touchups. I am just at a point where I tired of shelling out hundreds of dollars and not liking the results that I get. The main problem may be me. I dont speak up during the processing therefore the stylist usually have free reign. Also they seem to pressure me to do services I may not want to do but I agree with it only because I always feel in the back of my head well she must know what she is doing.

Now I am considering doing my own touchups because I dont like how my hair has come out. When I first got it done I had comments like your hair doesnt have the body it used to And by no means is my hair thin or fine. I think the relaxer (affirm lye)that the stylist I went to is a bit strong and the stylist leaves it in till its bone straight and I always have that shallacked (sp?)look to me.

When my old stylist used no lye my hair always had body, just now it has shine to it which it didnt have before.
then when i left my stylist and went to mirror image they raked through my hair with the smallest comb and both times i went i tried a lye relaxer revlon and motions and each time my hair didnt look like it was done like a week later. but it still had body.

then i go to the new stylist and then i get it relaxed bone straight and then flat ironed and my hair doesnt look thick at all and the stylist even said your hair isnt as thick as it was when you first came to me.

nothing has changed in my routine and every month my roots are the same as they always are, thick and full of new growth.

I am at a point where I feel I will never be happy. I will be running from stylist to stylist hoping for the best. I am tired of wasting my money.

This summer I started doing rollersets on my own. mind you I have two left hands but I washed, conditioned and roller set and air dried every week. the results shocked me. First I was shocked that a air dried roller set could produce such silky results. second i was so proud of the fact that I did it on my own. AND FOR FREE!!

and third it gave me comfort in knowing that I could experiment with different products and not feel like i am questioning someone's products or paying extra for a deep condtioner or waiting for a stylist to finish eating or talking on the phone or gossiping before i can get serviced.

The next hurdle is doing the self relaxer. I may get assistance but I mainly want to be able to control the straightness of my hair, the products used and the procedures done to my hair.

The main thing is I am scared. I always have this self doubt like I will screw up so bad that I will go running right back to the people I was running from.

I am just wondering who out there is doing it on their own or is like me and considering to do it on their own. All I know is if I decide to do this this will save me a buttload of money.

Anyone out there? God bless you all.

 

[Poohbear]

I have NEVER received a relaxer from a hair salon. My mom has always done my relaxers. I haven't done them myself or let anyone else relax my hair either. I have built a trust factor with my mom and I'm sure we have saved so much money doing the relaxer herself. But now I'm giving up on relaxing because I want my hair to be all natural in the next couple of years.

 

[Dolce_Dawn]

Azull11, I've been doing my own for yrs and I can't tell you how satisfying it is to do your hair when and how you want.

Chi Chi has a great thread on how to relax for beginners (you may have peeped it already).

I say you should def try it. Like Chi Chi, make sure you have all the utensils and products you need beforehand and then go for it! Nothing beats a failure but a try and just like your rollerset, you just may surprise yourself...

Personally, I don't find relaxing hard at all. Do it, girl!

 

[Victorian]

[ QUOTE ]
Poohbear said:
I have NEVER received a relaxer from a hair salon. My mom has always done my relaxers. I haven't done them myself or let anyone else relax my hair either. I have built a trust factor with my mom and I'm sure we have saved so much money doing the relaxer herself. But now I'm giving up on relaxing because I want my hair to be all natural in the next couple of years.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is me EXACTLY. I could have written this exact same post

I just want to try being natural for a while. If I ever relax or texturize after going natural for a while, I will learn to do it myself. I will probably have left home by the time I consider relaxing again, and I do NOT trust anybody else with my hair. So it's going to be on me. There have been quite a few members who have learned to do their own touchups. I'm sure you will be able to find help.

One thing my mom told me a while back when I was voicing my concern about learning to do a touchup myself (before I was considering transitioning) was that it may help to practice using a thick conditioner. You can get the timing down and work on applying with precision to avoid overlapping. Also I know a lot of new self-relaxers have found that doing one half of the head at a time helps prevent overprocessing.

 

[azul11]

Thanks for the advice. I am looking forward to being independent because I am tired of paying for results I am not happy with. I will try doing that conditioner thing first to start. If I plan to do it totally by myself I know someone mentioned using a mirror behind my head so I can see what I am doing.

Question: What do you mean doing one half at a time? Does this mean washing and everything? I know dumb question but I dont want to make any mistakes. I know the stylist usually part it in fours and do the back first and then the front. Is this what you mean??

I will have to reread all the old post about self relaxing. I am determined to do this. God bless you all.

 

[LEOLADYSW]

This is easy stuff. You can do it!

 

[Tracy]

I'm right there with you, azul. I'm seriouly considering relaxing my own hair because I want to get my hair as close as possible to the degree of curl I imagine. I also want to be able to control the circumstances of my relaxer (brand, timing) and the products I use. I'm fine about speaking up, but I just wish that I could take my hair care COMPLETELY into my own hands.

I'm also scared tho. Screwing up a relaxer IS possible, and it can cause a lot of damage. I would be devastated if I ruined my hair doing something I'd never done before, and had no reason to assume I could do.

These ladies make it sound so easy tho....

Londondiva, Chi Chi, and Karezone all have self realxing tips. A quick search will produce the threads/websites that detail thier instructions.

 

[azul11]

Yeah I am defintely leaning more towards doing now. I just hate that I am at the mercy of someone else and dont get to determine what is used on my hair and how I want it to come out. I know it will save a lot of money and I will be able to use the products i want. I know messing up is a possibilty but I have PAID people who were so-called professionals to do my hair and come out of it looking crazy. I would rather keep my money in my pocket and if it doesnt go well at least i will know what I did wrong instead of going to someone who will jack me up, try to disguise it with a hot curl or a flat iron and some oil sheen and charge me an arm and leg and then a week later my hair looks like who did it and why.

I went to get a wash and set at my usual spot about two weeks ago. I hadnt been there in months because I had been doing my own wash and sets but someone offered to pay for it because I was going out of town. I go and I get washed and set and put under a blazing hot dryer and then when I was done sat and waited damn near a half hour for the lady to come and wrap my hair. she was cleaning, eating, chatting everything but servicing me. Another stylist (probably seeing that I was losing patience) took my rollers out and wrapped my hair. I tipped the stylist who did that because i felt it was crappy how the other lady left me sitting there with rollers in my hair doing every damn thing in the world but doing what I was paying her for. After that I said to myself I am tired of this kind of treatment. I dont want to spend hours in a salon doing a simple wash and set. And I dont want to pay for a touchup where my hair looks like it is glued to my head and having a stylist making comments on how thick my hair is while raking the thinnest comb in the world through it or then proceeding to use a flat iron to make it look like i have no hair at all. I am fed up and I know that my money has definetley been wasted on stylist who dont care about what I want but what they want to do. God bless you all.

 

[Tracy]

Tell em why you mad girl!

 

[SouthernGirl]

I'm definitely one of those "on my own" girls- I do my own styling, relaxers, and even trims. I received my first relaxer at the salon many years ago, and I learned how to do them myself and never went back.

Even when my hair was much longer I did my realxers. It takes time, precision, and lots of TLC to do it, but I wouldn't have it any other way. My advice would be to either watch an expert do it, and/or read the instructions carefully before you try it the first time. There are also plenty of great instructions for self-relaxing on this site.

Good luck!

SG

 

[KAddy]

Azul I am with you 500% /images/graemlins/clap.gif

In addition to not wanting to spend close to 100 dollars for a touch-up, I too am tired of the inconsistent stylists who forget that we are the client who should not be made to wait.

Another reason I am doing my own hair now is because I had my healthiest and longest hair when I was relaxing and styling it myself. I mean my hair was close to an inch past my shoulders and was think and full and healthy. Then I journey back to a stylist /images/graemlins/wallbash.gif

I have learned though...I have learned

 

[auntybe]

you just have to practice by applying a deep conditoner to your hair as if it were a relaxer. I this a few times before I self relaxed the first time a few years ago. Once yu get comfy.....got for it.

 

[azul11]

I am semi doing it on my own. I am going to have assistance so someone will be able to do the back of my head. I really am at a point of where I am tired of going by someone else's time table and having them do whatever they want to my hair without consulting with me or seeing how I feel. It just makes me feel like I am not in control of my own hair and I am too dependent on the stylist for my hair needs. I just keep thinking to myself doing it on my own will save me so much money. I have a relative who does her own touchups, color and styles and her hair is always gorgeous. Even if I get a trusted friend or relative to help me I will still be better off than if I go to a salon. In my experience even top stylist have not always produced the results I desired and I always ended up paying top dollar for it. I would rather save my money and do it on my own.

Most people fear screwing up and to me the fact that I pay people who screw up my hair is justification enough for me to do it on my own. I keep having self doubts like man I should just go to a stylist but everytime I leave it in their hands believing that they will be able to do what's best I still end up at the same place wishing I wouldnt have wasted my money. I advice anyone who is on the fence do some serious thinking about the pros and cons of doing a self relaxer. God bless you all.

 

[Bunny77]

Just wanted to say good luck. I'm glad that we are finding alternatives to stylists who take our money and don't do what we ask (and then have nerve to make us wait ridiculously long hours in the process!!!)