Do you ever find yourself..back to Sq. 1..again?!

[hotparatha]

I'm going through a vicious cycle of growth and progress then damage and recovery over and over again. Up to two months ago my hair was doing well. It was pretty full and the thin spots were definitely growing. I got relaxers every 8 weeks or so. I was washing once a week and conditioning with protein and moisture. Then came the day when I decided to do my own relaxer at home. The first time I didn't leave it in for long at all so the hair was pouffy in some areas and not completely straight. Then I did a second relaxer which I think I left on for too long so more damage was done. Now I find myself shedding more and my ends are thinner. I've been doing protective hairstyles and conditioning but my hair doesn't seem to be responding. It's so depressing. Stuck in a rut..again!

If its not damage from a weave or braids, its relaxer damage, or from a scissors happy stylist..when will it end?! erplexed

Do you ever find yourself going through these phases more than once??

 

[blueabyss333]

Yes, I'm just about the same length I was in January. Damage I did to myself from pressing, then dull scissors, and I got lazy and stop wearing protective styles. On top of that my hair in the front broke off after highlights, my stylist relaxed me at 8 weeks when I didn't want to, and she decided to give me a trim after I'd already dusted. So, I feel your pain. Right now I should be somewhere between shoulder length and APL but getting past SL is the hardest hump.

 

[DulceKisses]

Hey Girl,

I was in the exact same boat as you. I did the Big Chop in Feb 06 and was growing my hair pretty well. I decided to relax w/ Affrirm Fiberguard which was ok but later left me with dull, extremely dry, underprocessed hair and shedding excessively. No matter what products I used my hair always felt blah. So I did a corrective w/ Fiberguard for 6 mins about 2mos later. Still brittle hair. So I was forced to do another Big Chop in July cuz I cannot stand thin uneven ends.
I then discovered Silk Elements Mega Silk Relaxer and did my 3rd corrective (yes 3rd). I have NEVER been so happy with my hair. My hair is at its best. I even wrote Sally's Beauty and and pleaded for them to never change its formula. Its mega silky, no breakage, not dull at all, no shedding. Im now revisting some products to make sure they were not Misses due to that darn Affirm relaxer.
Im so happy now but had thought about giving up b4. Its about finding what works for your hair sticking to it and being consistant. Im tired of starting over so Im determined to make it work and am setting goals for myself. With the help of my new relaxer and the support of LHCF I'm sure I'll make it.
Keep ur head up, you will find your happy medium

 

[sareca]

I had a really bad dye experience and ended up with some tangled mess for ends. I had to cut them then nurse my hair back.

 

[EricaUk]

This happens to me , probably because I don't stick to a simple regime. Sometimes i get bored of protective hairstyles and use the heat, or my hair gets damaged from the ponytails. Then to get my hair healthy again I have to give it a good trim, so it seems I'm constantly going round in circles ...I am determined to get there one day though.

 

[vaqtea]

Yes, squareone and I know each other well

I just cut 3 inches off on monday night after a terrible tangle issue ...

An issue I brought upon myself by trying some fancy smancy new hair do

Had I stuck it out with my boring bun, I could have still had those inches

With that said my advice to you would be to find out what works for

YOU and YOUR HAIR and stick with it! I know sometimes it seems like you

may be getting nowhere but I promise your hard work and dedication

will pay off in the end! HHG!

 

[punchinella]

Yes, squareone and I know each other well

I just cut 3 inches off on monday night after a terrible tangle issue ...

An issue I brought upon myself by trying some fancy smancy new hair do

Had I stuck it out with my boring bun, I could have still had those inches

With that said my advice to you would be to find out what works for

YOU and YOUR HAIR and stick with it! I know sometimes it seems like you

may be getting nowhere but I promise your hard work and dedication

will pay off in the end! HHG!

OT: Your little girl is sooo cute.

 

[InJesusName]

Yeah, I just recently had to go back to square one and I had JUST STARTED! Bad braids on top of a not-so-great relaxer left me chopped and miserable. I just try to psych myself up and convince myself that this is going to be the last time I cut my hair off due to extreme damage. Now that I have learned so much from this board, I think my chops will be out of want instead of necessity. Hang in there. IMO it's better to cut to a healthy length and start over than to try to hold on to some dry, frazzled, damaged length.

 

[ubavka123]

Yup...happened to me last fall, but now I am back on track after recovering for around eight months. I tried to self-relax instead of waiting for DH to come home and I did not do too well in the back. I lost a lot of hair because I could not see what I was doing and overlapped. My hair thinned considerably on the ends and I slowly cut the damage off, so I am basically back to where I was at this time last year. I would have been armpit by now, for sure, had I just had the patience to wait for him to come home. Never again. Live and learn and don't be afraid to cut damaged hair. It will grow back. I did not like looking at my mistake, so I slowly cut it away as it grew and then hacked the final bit off in July. After square 1, there is always a come back!

 

[Shimmerwink]

Do you ever find yourself going through these phases more than once??[/quote]

Yes Yes Yes . I am going through one right now. my hair has been doing well since Jan, these past month my scalp is itchy& dry as hell, my ends look like crap....i was combing my hair this morning and i was so frustrated i was tempted to grab my scissors and cut my ends. I want to get some braids and forget about "it" for a while!

 

[douglala]

Yes, MTG was a disaster for me!!!

I lost SOOOOO much hair through shedding and breakage. My hair was a MESS. MTG was just TOO strong for me and my hair just started coming out in chunks. My already fine - almost APL hair became too thin to even wear out. 2 years worth of progress GONE in the matter of weeks!

This was back in January. I am on the road to recovery now but it will take many more MONTHS. I try not to think about it too much.

 

[LJBFly]

I truly understand the frustration of having setbacks. It seems for every step forward there is two steps back.

I've suffered breakage from underprocessing to having the cut knots out of my hair due to tangling.

The kicker was after having my first professional trim in three years. Seeing how even and full my hair was I went heat crazy. I bought a blow dryer and and new curling iron. Needless to say my hair broke off and looked worse than when I started.

 

[Shalilac]

Happened to me too! I was wearing my hatural ahir in a was-n-go everyday because I didn't have the time to do my twists or braids. When I did have the time they didn't last long with me working out 5-6 days a week. It got really damaged. My ends were frazzled. I just decided to get a relaxer and a haircut I was craving (since I would have to cut it anyway). Starting from scratch is so much fun though!

 

[plove]

For a long time I was my own scissors happy stylist.
When i finally put down the scissors my hair fell out from my pregnancy. It was to the point where it looked like i was going bold in the crown area. So in Nov of 05 I pick up the scissors and cut it all down to an inch.

 

[Chicoro]

Yes indeed!

I am trying to move toward more natural products in my haircare. I used a 100% natural soap in my hair. But...I got a topical skin rash on my body, an eye infection and tangled, dried out, crunchy hair. erplexed I was changing over to this because of a rash I had gotten from a synthetic product. Rash #2! Sometimes it's like that. You have to just dust yourself ('and your hair') off, get up and keep going. That's one thing I know I can't use ever again. These experiences help you to grow in knowledge.

 

[*ElleB]

YUP! Airdrying has fu%^ed me up! (Scuse the French!) It leaves my hair a mess, and tangled, impoosible to moisturize, so I rake it back into a semi bun, and the ends up like crap, and I lose lots of hair tryin to detangle!

 

[yourleoqueen]

Oh yes, I know whereof you speak. I had a hair disaster as a result of a week in the hospital in Feb. Major surgery and them rough a$$ hospital pillowcases (you'd think with them charging $15 per asprin they could afford satin) wrecked (wrought?) havoc on my hair.The back middle of my hair started breaking off severly and I chopped off 4 inces. THEN as an added bonus, I got massive shedding for 3 months as reaction to the anesthesia. Fortunatley my hair was rediculously thick and even though I lost a good 3rd of the volume, I don't have any bald spots.

Health and length wise I am back to where I was, but it's gonna take a while to get back the fullness. If it hadn't been for that, I would be past APL on my way to BSL. I will be there by this time next year though. Soon as I get up the nerve tostart using the MTG I got the other day. It knows I'm scurred, it's sitting on the shelf mocking me right now.

 

[crlsweetie912]

cosigning!
I started my hair journey in March and I still look like I have the same old hair. At my next relaxer, I am gonna have to trim off a good inch to start fresh. I am taking vitamins, drinking plenty of water, staying away from heat (except for the occaisional curl) but my hair just grows slow.

I am trying to be positive. But it is def. hard!

Keep your heads up ladies!

EllB: I don't think that airdrying loose is for everybody! My hair hates it except for the bun. I must style my hair from wet now. Have you tried braidouts or twistouts?

 

[plainj]

I have been going through cycles like this. As a result, my hair has been the same length (SL) for at least a year. I'm finally getting back on track by keeping my regimen simple:
-wash & co on a regular basis
-lay off the heat more often
-use less products
-bun
-no more jumping on 10 bandwagons at once

 

[Hair2day]

.... and the answer is yes. I started out with a short neck length Bob in 01/05. Then I reached SL by 07/05. Since then I have had a string of ups & downs with my hair. Here now in 09/06 my hair is only and 1/2 past SL. I get fustrated each and every time I have a setback but, I press on. Like others have stated before me, just stick with what works for you.

Thanks for this post. It's good to know I am not the only one. Misery does indeed love company LOL

 

[tenderheaded]

I'm at square 1 in some spots I got a new flat iron 5/05 and went crazy! I thought I was being careful but I'd get impatient in the back. I've been heat free since 4/19/06.

In 2004 a Dominican stylist caused me to go from APL to less than 1/2 in So I don't consider the flatiron debacle any where near as bad since I can still wear my own hair

 

[Amour]

yes :: cries:: the memories are painful :: cries some more::.

Not sure of the dates but a colour job in January changed my hair that just to be soo soft to brittle, dry and really 'tuff'. No matter what i would do to it, i used to always have real soft hair. The colour also thined my ends. My ends are now line pieces of string, it horrible to look at, i can't cut because i will be left with a TWA and i'd feel it would be totally counter productive to my hair dreams, so i've decided to try and work with it.. at least and till i get some more length.

Then later on in the year i seemed to have been coping better with the dye and was about 2inch past shoulder length all around, stylist gave me a cut to about 2 inches above SL (I however must admit, the cut was well needed as my stringy ends look a lot better) but all my growth over the years seems wasted.

Airdrying and detangling my new growth seems to have caused me to lose ALOT of hair too.

My biggest blunder hands down was the colour

 

[queen92]

Not square 1, but yes to square 2. My hair was growing lovely until I wanted to try this and then try that. It started while using MTG over my entire head. It was doing well, but when it was time to relax, my hair rejected it. My texlaxed hair and permed hair did not mix. I've ended up having to trim approximately 4 inches off. My hair is still rejecting the perm. If you decide to use MTG, only use it on your scalp.

 

[kinascott]

Yes, I just cut well as the domincans would say "trim mommi" about 3 1/2 inches. I am not that mad because the ends were a mess. Color and braids. So I quess I'm going to start over again and see where I go from here.

 

[dlewis]

I def. feel ya, I just had 5" cut over a three week period. So that a year of growth GONE!

 

[GodsPromises]

Yes Yes and Yes.

I was doing the same thing you did - my own relaxer and my hair stayed the same. I joined here in 2003 however, my hair did not start to make any progress until 2005. The reason why is because of my doing my own relaxers. I was doing everything else the same and right but it was self relaxering that made my hair stay damage and not retaining any lenght. In May of 2005 I find a hair dresser that was into healt and not so much style and now I can see the difference. I only go to her for chemicals as I know that I have been forbidden to put any chemicals in my hair by myself .

Don't give up but also know that everyone can't do their own relaxers. Right now my hair is the healthiest it has been since elemartary school.

 

[Jas123]

I feel your pain...about 2 1/2 I went thru this but it was completely my fault...I was obsessed with having this auburn colored hair and I dyed, relaxed, bleached and dyed with in less than a 2 mos time period..so of course my hair came out..the funnt hting is i didnlt see any shedding or breaking, just one I didn't have any hair. So I had to get it all cut off...a year and 1/2 later hair is doing great, around shoulder length...so I decided I want some hilites but I will only do the front so if it breaks off at least I will length in the back...self-fulfilling prophecy..the front broke off and I basically had to start over and now the sides are slowly but surely catching up with the back.

 

[locabouthair]

i was just thinking today how i always seem to be back at square one with my hair. i was so depressed this morning thinking about it. i got thin ends when i wasn't moisturizing and conditioning like im supposed to. so i had to cut the ends off and then the cycle started. thin ends, cut, then thin ends, and cut again but now my hair doesn't look relaxed to me which i really hate. and a stylist didn't even cut my hair right. i just got my hair washed on saturday and i swear if you saw me now you wouldn't even know. plus today my aunt told me, "why did you wear your hair like that? it looks like you don't have any hear on your head" so yeah i definitely feel ya. im tired of going back to square one and i feel like giving up but i HAVE to have at least 3 more inches.

 

[karezone]

Yeah for the past three years. I get to a good place, then I start acting stupid about my hair and wammo back to ear lobe length. I find that the busier my life is, the better my hair is. So I am keeping busy.

 

[misscrystal]

What? You mean there are other squares besides 1??

I feel like I'm even worse off than I was when I started LHCF. I joined in Nov. 2004 tried alot to strengthen my constantly breaking hair.

Then almost a year later, in Oct. 05, I decided to BC down to 4 inches and go texturized because I though my relaxed hair was too weak.

After almost a year of being texturized, my hair had only gained about 1.5" at the most and my hair was STILL. BREAKING.

A couple weeks ago I had a little less than an inch all around cut off my hair, and I'm still experiencing breakage.
My biggest problem is being lax with my regimen and proper moisturizing. I'm still trying to find what works best for my hair :/