DILEMMA...Please HELP!

[bee]

Ladies, it's been a year and two months since my last relaxer. Braidouts, were once the best thing that could have happened to me. Now, it just looks like a fro and my boss has been looking upside my head ALL DAY like this

Cutting out the remaining permed ends is not an option, I just took braids out, a roller-set looks worse than my braidout and a bun makes me self-conscious of the gray in my nape area.

As you can see: I NEED YOUR HELP!

Thanks in advance.

 

[bee]

BTW, I should also mention that my hair is almost bald in the temple area.

 

[hotshot]

yikes. . . more braids maybe?
thats a lot of new growth.

 

[AFashionSlave]

Are you transitioning?
What products and techniques are you using to create your braidout?

 

[ThickHair]

If your sides are bald why are you afraid of cutting your hair off?

 

[AFashionSlave]

Let's see...
- You don't want to wear a bun.
- Wearing a fro makes your boss look at you crazy.
- Braid outs don't work for you anymore.
- Roller sets look worse than your braid outs.
- Cutting your hair is not an option.

I don't know what to tell you. I don't know how to help you. You have already made up your mind about what you won't do, so how can we help you.

I don’t understand. What look are you trying to achieve with your hair?

 

[greAtness333]

[ QUOTE ]
AFashionSlave said:

Let's see...
- You don't want to wear a bun.
- Wearing a fro makes your boss look at you crazy.
- Braid outs don't work for you anymore.
- Roller sets look worse than your braid outs.
- Cutting your hair is not an option.

I don't know what to tell you. I don't know how to help you. You have already made up your mind about what you won't do, so how can we help you.

I don’t understand. What look are you trying to achieve with your hair?

[/ QUOTE ]

Good point

 

[carameldiva]

try doing gel twists or two strand twists or kinky twists. And best of luck to ya.

 

[bee]

Thanks ladies, for your replies. What happened was, I took my 2-strand twists out, had my sister "dust" my ends, went thru my wash/conditioner routine, and my hair looked like a curly, "tight"-looking fro (I am transitioning BTW). I like a more "stretched" look so I wet my hair put it in 2 ponytails, let it airdry and rebraided it. I used KemiOyl Shea, a little gel and a little Motions Foam Wrap. I guess my delimma is that my braid out doesn't have the definition it had when I first started wearing this style. Needless to say, my braidout was "stretched" with no definition.

I'm not quite comfortable w/ the length of my natural hair to go cutting off the permed ends (although I do plan on doing so while I'm off for the summer). In the meantime, how do I regain the definition of this style? I guess that's what I really want to know because I do like this style on me and am often complimented on it.

BTW, the "wild" look I had, which I attributed to the wind blowing it hither-tiher-and yon, had folks turning their heads. But, I wasn't comfortable w/ how it looked on me. It was more like a "club" hairstyle, which is not a look I'm going for.

Does this clear things up, so that you wonderful ladies are better able to help me?

 

[UmSumayyah]

Perhpas you could try using a stronger hold gel for more definition in your braidouts.

 

[inthepink]

My suggestion would be doing your braidout on your wet hair instead of letting it airdry first! If you do it on wet hair, you should get more definition.

 

[Edie]

First of all, do not let anyone braid your hair again. If your hair is fine, it is weaker and cannot take the tension that thick hair can take when braided. If you have a bald spot, use minoxidil. I read where one member here used the target brand and had good results. Braids can actually traumatize some people's hair. I know it did mine. I have very long hair, but to this day the area behind my ears is thinner than the rest of my head. The hair around the perimter of my head is much more delicate than the rest of my head. In addition to using the minoxidil, buy yourself a wig and keep your hands out of your head except to wash/condition and massage it. Make sure you are taking good vitamins and using the right products for your type of hair. Your hair has been weakened by all those years in braids. Do yourself a good protein conditioning, followed by a moisturizing condition (30-60 minutes). Plait, not braid your hair. You can control the amount of tension you put on your hair. I always make sure I plait my hair loosely not snug. My hair is very fine, I just have a lot of it. The thin areas are coming back, but because I stayed in braids (2.5 years), it is taking quite a while for the follicles to get over the shock. My hair has grown so long and actually grows pretty fast, and I have to admit the hair in the thin areas grows fast also, but I am using minoxidil on them as a last resort to see if I can those areas back to their former thickness. I am lucky. Those are not bald so I count my blessings.

They make some very pretty wigs now and it is perfectly acceptable to wear them. Give your hair a long rest. It may take as long as a year for your hair to get back to where it, providing the follicles have not died. I wish you luck!

 

[babyblue]

[ QUOTE ]
hairlove said:
My suggestion would be doing your braidout on your wet hair instead of letting it airdry first! If you do it on wet hair, you should get more definition.

[/ QUOTE ]

this is correct. A braid out done on dry hair has a looser definition.

Try to do it on wet hair with a strong setting product

 

[bee]

Right now I use the Ampro gel. Is there one stronger than that? I used it sparingly maybe next time I'll use it like I want it to hold. I just didn't want my hair feeling all "globby" and stuff.

I'll let you all know how it turns out next time (It's definitely growing).

 

[bee]

@ Edie, thanks for the advice; although, my baldness is not the result of years of wearing braids. I've been like this since I was a little girl, this pattern is also evident in my mother, sister, aunts, and my daughters.

Since I've been transitioning, I've noticed those areas trying to thicken but I don't think it will ever be full. My 2-strand twists as well as all my braids are done by me. I was and always have been tenderheaded so I won't braid my own hair too tight.
I've gotten a lot of help from you ladies and I'm taking good care of my hair. I guess my issues will just be my crosses to bear.

 

[AFashionSlave]

[ QUOTE ]
hairlove said:
My suggestion would be doing your braidout on your wet hair instead of letting it airdry first! If you do it on wet hair, you should get more definition.

[/ QUOTE ]
ITA!
I think that you should braid your hair when it's soaking wet along with the use of a styling product. I also feel that you should try a product that is a little heavier than that motions wrap foam. Maybe you should try a pomade or butter. Most of the sisters here love Carol's Daughter Healthy Hair Butter. Others love pure shea butter. The longer your natural hair gets - the more you need to treat your hair like it is natural.

If I were you I would use a spray bottle of water & spritz each section and apply a little product to that section. You also may want to try using a brush instead of a comb before you braid. I believe that brushes (for example Denman or Jilbere) stretch and detangle better than combs. After you have brushed the wet section then you should braid it. Since you still have relaxed ends maybe you might want to try using a roller on the ends of your braids. The roller will help to disguise those straight ends.

I think that every woman should transition as long as they want to, but I also think that you should be doing a little more than and end dusting. The object of transitioning is to actually transition from a relaxer to natural hair. Many sisters on this board and other boards that I visit often end up going back to the relaxer because their transition periods are soooooo long. Many end up getting frustrated because they are terrified to cut their hair but at the same time they don’t want to deal with two textures anymore. Others end up with a lot of demarcation line breakage because they waited too long to cut off some of that relaxed hair.

Good luck!

 

[bee]

Thanks, AFS. All your advice was helpful. Right now I'm wearing a ponytail but I'll be back to my braidout, this weekend. I have another month before I cut off my permed ends. It's exciting and terrifying; all at the same time.

 

[Poohbear]

Are you sure you can handle going back to natural?

 

[tryn2growmyhair]

First of all, do not let anyone braid your hair again. If your hair is fine, it is weaker and cannot take the tension that thick hair can take when braided. If you have a bald spot, use minoxidil. I read where one member here used the target brand and had good results. Braids can actually traumatize some people's hair. I know it did mine. I have very long hair, but to this day the area behind my ears is thinner than the rest of my head. The hair around the perimter of my head is much more delicate than the rest of my head. In addition to using the minoxidil, buy yourself a wig and keep your hands out of your head except to wash/condition and massage it. Make sure you are taking good vitamins and using the right products for your type of hair. Your hair has been weakened by all those years in braids. Do yourself a good protein conditioning, followed by a moisturizing condition (30-60 minutes). Plait, not braid your hair. You can control the amount of tension you put on your hair. I always make sure I plait my hair loosely not snug. My hair is very fine, I just have a lot of it. The thin areas are coming back, but because I stayed in braids (2.5 years), it is taking quite a while for the follicles to get over the shock. My hair has grown so long and actually grows pretty fast, and I have to admit the hair in the thin areas grows fast also, but I am using minoxidil on them as a last resort to see if I can those areas back to their former thickness. I am lucky. Those are not bald so I count my blessings.

They make some very pretty wigs now and it is perfectly acceptable to wear them. Give your hair a long rest. It may take as long as a year for your hair to get back to where it, providing the follicles have not died. I wish you luck!

Edie, this is really good advice. Do you have any other words of wisdom about this? I have fine hair and I am constantly messing in it -- esp. when I am stressed. Do you know of any ways that I can get my fine, soft hair to grow. I was thinking of getting braids, but I think that you have helped to remind me why I should not have them. Any more advice would be appreciated.