Dilemma: Need some advice...what should I DO?

[Crystalicequeen123]

**[I appologize in advance for the length of this post]

Hi ladies! I seriously need some advice about what to do about my hair.

A little background about me:

-I've been on a hair health kick since 2002, but I found and joined this board in 2004.
-All my life I used to relax every 6-8 weeks with a REGULAR strength relaxer UNTIL late 2004.

It was after I found this board that I stopped relaxing every 6-8 weeks and switched to relaxing my newgrowth every 10-14 weeks. Here's the clincher-----> At the SAME time I also switched to a mild relaxer (DE). In time, my hair thrived from my new hair regimen, and the thickness of my hair increased as well.

THEN, I switched stylists and she gave me the affirm mild...but I found that affirm is just too harsh on my hair. So, I went back to my old stylist and got the DE mild relaxer in my hair again.

*MY Dilemma*: While I like how my hair is getting thicker since the mild DE relaxer, I'm also kind of bummed out at how my hair is not really "straight". The DE mild relaxer with shea butter is more like a texturizer on my fine 4a/b type hair. Now, though I don't mind NOT having bone-straight hair (I don't like bone straight hair) it IS nice to have hair that looks "smooth" and doesn't shrink up as soon as humidity hits it.

I live in MD and during the summer months the humidity here is no joke! Don't get me wrong, when I get a fresh rollerset/relaxer, my hair looks very NICE! But a couple of days later, my hair goes back to looking shaggy regardless of wraps/pin curls, and scarf wearing. My air-drying isn't really all that effective in getting my hair straight since I basically have a texturizer in my hair, so my hair never really air dries straight no matter what I do. So...I end up using heat (blow drying/FLAT ironing roots) to get my hair straight when I could probably have counteracted that if my hair was just relaxed straight to begin with. I'm really wondering if I'm doing more harm than good to my hair.

I remember back when I had my regular strength relaxers, my hair wouldn't react so poorly to humidity. Plus, I've been "bunning" for a long time, and now I just want the flexibility to wear my hair down when I want to...and not have to worry about my hair puffing up. And I don't like to use too much heat to keep my hair "straight" either. Now, maybe this is just "summer-time humidity blues" talking, but even in the fall and winter my hair will look fine, but as soon as I leave the house and go outside, my hair shrinks and shrivels up.

So...my question is: What do you all think I should do? Because I am SERIOUSLY considering just stopping the mild DE relaxer, and just switching to the regular strength DE relaxer. I realized that although I had tried regular strength relaxers in the past, I had never tried Design Essentials (a gentler relaxing system) regular strength formula. I was always getting Mizani, Motions, or (worse) Affirm.

I'm thinking that if I just continue to stretch my relaxers, that even with a regular strength gentle relaxing treatment my hair should still continue to maintain some thickness.

So...I'm at a crossroad.... What do you all think I should do?

Should I keep using the DE mild??
OR...
Should I try to switch to DE regular??

Do any of you fine-haired type 4a/b ladies on the board have a regular strength relaxer in your hair and still maintain thickness to your strands through stretching or supplements or both? Please...I need some input.

 

[Neroli]

If you want your hair to be straight, then use the products/technique that gets it straight. By doing so, you may sacrifice length and thickness for straightness, but that may be the tradeoff you have to consider in order to *enjoy* your hair. .

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

Thanks.

Nobody else has any other advice?? I don't think I should have to sacrifice length and thickness necessarily simply because I like straighter styles.

Plus, I'm getting into the work force now that I have graduated, and I want a more polished look. But I see so many ladies on this board who wear regular relaxers, but still have nice length and thickness to their hair. I guess my question is...how do you ladies do it?? Because so far I have only done my hair regimen with "mildly" relaxed hair.

 

[lexi08]

My stylist has been using Design Essentials regular relaxer on my hair for several years now. My hair done really well with this relaxer. I also had problems with Affirm, it was too strong for my hair texture.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

My stylist has been using Design Essentials regular relaxer on my hair for several years now. My hair done really well with this relaxer. I also had problems with Affirm, it was too strong for my hair texture.

You've had good results with DE regular I see. If you don't mind me asking, what hair type are you?

So is the regular strength pretty gentle? Have you found the DE regular brand to be okay as far as not thinning out your hair? Because this was my main concern with Affirm regular and Affirm mild. I know with the DE mild, I don't even really feel any burning. Itching somewhat towards the end, but definitely NO burning. But with Affirm mild, I was actually burning sometimes.

I will ask my stylist and see what she says. In the meantime I will continue to look on this board and see what other ladies with my hair type do to upkeep their hair/newgrowth when they have have a regular strength relaxer and like to stretch.

Thanks for the advice!

 

[balisi]

I think you should give the regular strength DE relaxer a try. Sounds as though that is exactly what will give you the results you're looking for. In my experience Design Essentials is a great system.

 

[Mestiza]

I think you should give the regular strength DE relaxer a try. Sounds as though that is exactly what will give you the results you're looking for. In my experience Design Essentials is a great system.

ITA! I haven't used that line, though.

 

[inthepink]

I don't really have any advice but I just wanted to say good luck with your decision! I know I am struggling with having worn my hair up for 3 years and wanting to finally enjoy it. So, I sort of understand what you're going through.