Curiosity killed the CAT!!!!!

[kisz4tj]

First of all I have cornrows and a coworker (single white female) of mine came to my desk and she's like " I have a question I'm just curious, how do you attach those extensions to your hair, I just think it's so cool"..so being the official educator on black hair (at my job) that I am, I proceeded to explain AGAIN!!!! (she asked me the same thing last summer when I had cornrows), so afterwards she's like so is this "new or were they doing this 20 years ago in the black community?", so I say I'm not really sure, but probably, then I tell her as quiet as it may be kept many of those women in hollywood also add hair to their own (she's a struggling actress), and she's all "really,..hmm" (with skepticism), then she walks away saying "Well I probably don't need it anyway since my hair is long enough" UGHHHHH!!, I calmly replied well extensions have more to do with versatility than deception.
Yesterday a top administrator at my job walked by and said oh hi is that your hair? I said as long as it's in my head it is!

 

[Country gal]

I hate that. Why do people always have to play dumb when it comes to our hair? Lisa Kudrow of friends wears extenstions and many other stars do. I use to wear extensions because I wanted to wear different styles.

 

[butterfly7]

I can not believe that! Well, I guess I can. When I got my braids (waist length), a woman came up to me and said "Is that your hair?" I looked right at her and said yes. She then said, "I didn't know your hair was that long." I was too done with her. I didn't know if she were that stupid or if she were trying to be cute. At any rate, what gives people the idea that they have the right to ask that?

 

[JenJen2721]

Girl, I understand. I got the same ignorant responses when I had my cornrows last year. Some people asked about them tactfully and I didn't have a problem educating them. The others though, just made me want to yell, "Go, away!!! You're not being cute!"

Just keep your cool and know that you're doing it for the good of your hair, which is much bigger than the "little" people in your office.

Try to resist the urge to throw a stapler at them!!

 

[cutebajangirl]

Yeah ... you can be a bigger person or

you can be a smart aleck and ask your co-workers where there natural haircolor ends and their highlights begin. I've found that really gets them, and trust me no one else will ask you again.

 

[Tracy]

You know what I noticed about this kind of behaviour....

People KNOW they are amking you uncomfortable and that's why they do it. When I've had cornrows and people ask me detailed questions I always ask them why they want to know. And unless I get a sense that they really are genuinely curious with no malintent whatsoever, I just continue to make them more and more uncomfortable about having asked the question in the first place.... The exchange usually looks like this:

JERK: How do you get that fake hair to stay in your head?

Me: Why?

JERK: Just cuuuu- riOUS!

Me: (smiling) Really? Writing a book?

JERK: ::here's where they start looking around and seeming uneasy:: uh...no.... I just think they are so interesting....


Me: Yeah? ::cheese grin:: Like National Geographic...? (Insert overzealous laughter here) No seriously tho, I think there's like, videos or something you can buy online if you REALLY want to know....

JERK: Uh...::nervoous cuckle:: no I just mean -

Me: (Interrupting) Oh would you LOOK at the time! Gotta run...I'll send you an email with a link for a site to purchase that video! Ciao!

Now this might seem like it's a bit much

but like I really only do it with people I KNOW could give a rat's ass about extensions and no, I never feel badly about making them uncomfortable...because had the conversation gone the other way they wouldn't feel a bit guilty about my feelings so....

I walk away guilt free and happy knowing these kinds of people won't inflict themselves on anyone else.

I consider it a small contribution to blackgirlkind...

 

[kisz4tj]

SBaker - I knew we would see eye to eye on this you're a ENFJ just like me

Butterfly7 - What I wanna know is do we ask stupid questions like this to other cultures, I don't know why they feel comfortable asking these questions.

JenJen - I'm gon do my bestesssssssssttttt not to hurt nobody up in herre

Cutebanjangirl - That's hysterical, I don't think I could say that with a straight face

Tracy - I would love to be a fly on the wall during an exchange like that,

seriously tho, I'm the kind of person that has to work extra hard to be nasty with a smile, I'm either gonna tell you off and grease my face (kidding) or ignore you. I wish I had that much self control. I don't think she said it to be malicious, in fact I know, but it's so freakin' annoying, it irks me.

 

[melodee]

I know what you mean. On the American Idol finale, Kelly Clarkson was sportin' a phonytail that hung to her butt while singing Independent. I see other non-blacks with extensions all the time. It's definately not just us.

 

[Daughter]

[ QUOTE ]
you can be a smart aleck and ask your co-workers where there natural haircolor ends and their highlights begin. I've found that really gets them, and trust me no one else will ask you again.

[/ QUOTE ]

LOLOLOL!!! Gotta remember that one!!!

 

[Tracy]

cutebajangirl: Guuuurlllll. TOO FUNNY.

Good luck on the commentary Kisz...I hope that however you handle it you never let anyone make you feel like less than a queen. I'm sure your braids are pumpin' - extensions or no and I'm sure you wear them well.

 

[kisz4tj]

Thank you Tracy, I'm doing da thang, if I may say so myself.

 

[Emmi]

trust me their curiousity is genuine. grwoing up where i did, i knew nothing of black hair, and i alwasy wondered how come americans all had butt length hair, only to be informed several yrs later, it wasnt really their own hair but sew in extentions. to which i had to ask, how the hell do you do sew hair on your head?? lol. i was totally clueless an in the dark. im slowly beginnig to figure out black hair care, but if someone hadnt taken to time to explain it to me, i never would have known.

i think it also comes from the assumption that blacks cant grow long hair so when we or they see that, we automatically think, it must be fake.

 

[dstdiva]

[ QUOTE ]
I can not believe that! Well, I guess I can. When I got my braids (waist length), a woman came up to me and said "Is that your hair?" I looked right at her and said yes. She then said, "I didn't know your hair was that long." I was too done with her. I didn't know if she were that stupid or if she were trying to be cute. At any rate, what gives people the idea that they have the right to ask that?

[/ QUOTE ]

the EXACT same thing happened at my old job. i leave one day with regular hair and come back with mid-back braids and we had the same convo! also, everyone (white women...never the men) thought they could touch it!

 

[Lucia]

[ QUOTE ]
You know what I noticed about this kind of behaviour....

People KNOW they are amking you uncomfortable and that's why they do it. When I've had cornrows and people ask me detailed questions I always ask them why they want to know. And unless I get a sense that they really are genuinely curious with no malintent whatsoever, I just continue to make them more and more uncomfortable about having asked the question in the first place.... The exchange usually looks like this:

JERK: How do you get that fake hair to stay in your head?

Me: Why?

JERK: Just cuuuu- riOUS!

Me: (smiling) Really? Writing a book?

JERK: ::here's where they start looking around and seeming uneasy:: uh...no.... I just think they are so interesting....


Me: Yeah? ::cheese grin:: Like National Geographic...? (Insert overzealous laughter here) No seriously tho, I think there's like, videos or something you can buy online if you REALLY want to know....

JERK: Uh...::nervoous cuckle:: no I just mean -

Me: (Interrupting) Oh would you LOOK at the time! Gotta run...I'll send you an email with a link for a site to purchase that video! Ciao!

Now this might seem like it's a bit much

but like I really only do it with people I KNOW could give a rat's ass about extensions and no, I never feel badly about making them uncomfortable...because had the conversation gone the other way they wouldn't feel a bit guilty about my feelings so....

I walk away guilt free and happy knowing these kinds of people won't inflict themselves on anyone else.

I consider it a small contribution to blackgirlkind...

[/ QUOTE ]

you tell them Tracy.

 

[pebbles]

Tracy, you are too funny!!