Confused Frustrated Need Help!

[mixedbahamian88]

Hi, I am natural and I am so tired of the detangling, the single strand knot,tangles, twisting, hours dealing with my hair. I really feel like just pulling my hair out it is just too much and I can't take it anymore! I don't want to shave my head I love long hair and curly hair is pretty to me. Should I relax my hair? Then I think about the new growth, I don't want dreads. I just want long hair that is beautiful and healthy. Something simple because I am very lazy. I need something quick not time consuming. I need easy. Help!

 

[krissyhair]

What's your normal styling routine?


My key to success, keep it simple regimen for curly natural hair consists of cowashing, finger combing, lots of nourishing leave in and pineappling at night.

 

[charmtreese]

I agree with krissyhair. The key to success for my natural hair is KISS. I make my hair care routine as simple or as complex as I like. Meaning I know what basic elements my hair needs to thrive, however if I want to get fancy I will add in extra.

Starting off, your regimen should consist of basic hair care techniques. For example you could start off with this simple regimen and tweak it as your hair sees fit.

1. Weekly washing with a moisturizing cleanser
2. Deep Conditioning weekly
3. Moisturizing and sealing daily
4. Protein conditioner or reconstructor once every 4-6 weeks

As a new or lazy natural it would benefit you to keep your hair in a protective style or low maintenance style to prevent you from having to mess with it too much. I would not suggest a long term protective style because you need to get to know your hair. However, something like twist, twist outs, braids, or braid outs with your natural hair can help you keep your hair stretched and prevent tangles. Over manipulation on natural hair may cause tangles, SSK, and heavy detangling sessions come wash time if you’re not careful. So I recommend that if you do choose to wear twist outs or braid outs that you try to refrain from twisting and braiding every night. Instead you could try pinappleing or wearing the individual twist or braids and just style them.

Also, I suggest you start to learn and understand the characteristics of your hair. This will keep you from expecting results that your hair is not capable of and in turn you will learn to appreciate it for its uniqueness. Styling and daily care will become easier once you obtain a better understanding of your own strands.

 

[mixedbahamian88]

I pre poo my hair and detangle, I was finger detangling but it takes too long and doesn't do a good enough job so now I use a wide teeth comb which is quick and detangles very well. I am thinking of getting the felicia leatherwood detangling brush. I deep condition weekly one time protein the next week moisture. Then LCO twist. Hair spritz, leave in then oil but I might have to do this twice daily instead of once daily hair dries out. I think cornrows or bantu knots might work better against ssk but my hair frizzes out very quickly. It always rolls up and loosens out to easily lol. My hair is mostly fine but normal in the crown area (thicker). 4a,3c and a few 3b. I am going to have to bald it because it is very damage split ends to the root.

 

[almond eyes]

I pre poo my hair and detangle, I was finger detangling but it takes too long and doesn't do a good enough job so now I use a wide teeth comb which is quick and detangles very well. I am thinking of getting the felicia leatherwood detangling brush. I deep condition weekly one time protein the next week moisture. Then LCO twist. Hair spritz, leave in then oil but I might have to do this twice daily instead of once daily hair dries out. I think cornrows or bantu knots might work better against ssk but my hair frizzes out very quickly. It always rolls up and loosens out to easily lol. My hair is mostly fine but normal in the crown area (thicker). 4a,3c and a few 3b. I am going to have to bald it because it is very damage split ends to the root.

Sounds like your hair is both highly porous and fine. I think you may need to think about wetting your hair everyday in the shower (not necessarily a co wash) and then detangle as well and then put your leave ins for a wash and go or get your hair into a protective style to stretch your hair and lock in the moisture. Spritzing your hair with a spray bottle may not be effective enough especially if your hair is densely packed and you need the warm water to literally penetrate all your strands. A spray bottle just doesn't cut it for drier hair types.

Your hair needs more moisture but not necessarily in the form of products but getting your hair wet more often.

I would be careful with twisting all the time for fine hair because that can cause shedding due to the tension and not use a brush on your hair at all. And twisting on shorter hair can also lead to damage due to the tugging and the pulling.

Once your hair gets used to the moisture from the water and your leave in you will feel the difference in your hair.

My hair is all the things you described, frizzy, fine, curly and porous.

I shaved my hair in May due to frustration during my transition to natural hair. It was a good decision for me and I loved my almost shaved hair it really showed my face off nicely but if you plan to grow your hair out be prepared for the awkward stage which there is no way getting around and this stage usually lasts for about 1 to 3 years if your are trying to grow your hair past a twa.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[mixedbahamian88]

Maybe I should just keep it very low.

 

[almond eyes]

Maybe I should just keep it very low.

Our hair is naturally dry by nature but it can definitely get more moisture in it to preserve the strands. I love short cuts but if you are going to shave it remember that if you are going to get past the TWA stage you have to be very patient because this stage can seem to last forever when reality is that it lasts for about 1 to 3 years. I am glad that I shaved my hair and I have been tempted to fade it again because I love the look but at the same time I am on a mission and I love my hair when it grows up into a full fledged mullet afro because of the different styles I can do and the uniqueness of my curl pattern when it is longer.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[mixedbahamian88]

I will bald it then go from there. Thank you all for the feedback!