Irresistible
New Member
How Hard I stood, what it really took to do it, what it really felt like, the pain, the horror , the sheer turmoil in my soul, the darkness , the tears , AND I could go on
of what I walked through with my daughter having PMDD, it still hurts, not in a way that I am holding on to the pain, just the memories of what we went through still just brings tears to my eyes, I hate that we went through something so hellish and we didnt even have to. I do believe all things work together- and for any that were around that fateful day on that in many ways hateful/fateful thread, when I had finally reached the end of my rope and called the police on my child and so many were confused and how everything got twisted and ugly, I blame myself for posting in the middle of a crises , without having all the answers, But GOD I just cannot thank enough those that believed my words/ heart and intentions to be true as her Mother and knew my love ran deep and I was in deep pain and knew WHY I did not want to give up on her-and supported me, prayed for me, reached out to me, lifted me up, encouraged me. MAN I JUST WANT TO SAY SOME OF YOU WERE ANGELS AND I MEAN THAT WITH ALL MY HEART!
I Just took that pic of her a day or so ago, Its been 8 months since God steering me in the direction of PMDD and taking her to the doctor and getting her on BC, we live in peace now, she never goes off the deep end on me anymore, she never disprespects me, She has not raged once, we dont live in destruction, I dont live in fear, She is so beautiful, I mean just so beautiful without the 'hormonal hellish raging' I swell up with tears at how wonderful my daughter is (ya'll just really dont know) I thank God I stood through it and fought with all my might to not lose her to whatever was going on, I came at it from ALL angles, She now has a deep deep appreciation for what I did for her and stood through, she has at times went through deep sorrow (I have too if the memories are jarred hard enough) now that she is herself again, when she has the memories and will be very apologetic , OR I will just see it in her actions when she overly tries to show her appreciation of having me as her Mother, She is totally forgiven, I mean it left my soul when God finally lead me to what it was-it was NOT HER-but the hormones. I thank God still every day, I mean its still so amazing , it was just that hellish to go through that I am still affected in the sense of deeep deep gratitude for how things worked out. We have been given a new life, and I thank God every day that we were safe through the 'rages' and I thank God we can have a relationship today thats healthy , whole, loving and beautiful!
but some of you will NEVER ever know how much you meant to me, reaching to me with support and LOVE! There is no way for me to express what that meant to me in that dark dark time and all the confusion as well as how others came at me. In the end it was here that I got the answers, lead by God, So although it was horrific, I truly did get the blessing and the victory, I truly DID get so very blessed from so many of you! You all know who you are!
I pray that for all that to reached out me, that whenever you are in a dark place and hurting anything close to how I was, that an Angel comes to hold you, lift you up , and encourage you and just love you through -like you did for me (for those that did)
I wanted you to see her today, with your own eyes, Here she is , She is who you were fighting for with me! Those of you that did! and OMG! I THANK YOU WITH EVERYTHING IN ME FOR ALL OF YOU THAT DID WHAT YOU DID!
I REALLY NEEDED TO SAY THIS TO YOU ALL , ALL OF YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, I AM ETERNALLY GRATEFUL! IN WAYS AND WORDS I WILL NEVER HAVE TO EXPRESS
I have to post this in CF as well-posted here for those that dont go there in case!
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