Can we please have a moratorium on Natural/Relaxed threads?

[LaidBak]

I enacted my own moratorium months ago by just not clicking on those threads. There's an idea! Just because somebody posted it doesn't mean you have to read it.

Now that I see this one has devolved into the same old I'm gonna move on.

 

[Chaosbutterfly]

I don't think some of the women who commented are against women with natural hair being proud but only against being looked down upon for choosing to relax theirs. No one should be ostracized because of how they choose to wear their hair. Some people simply like straight hair. I know naturals who never wear their hair in its 'natural' state.

Your comments indicate that you assume that all naturals are suffering from some sort of Eurocentric 'Black is whack' concept. I love all hair- relaxed, tex-laxed, natural, etc. In fact, your comment is idiotic to imply that some do so because they are 'misguided'. Our hair isn't the the sole determining factor in whether or not we embrace our race.

I really wish that you had left the "idiot" part out, because you are so onto something here. I feel like they got ignored in all the "you called me a name" mess than ensued, but you made some good points.

With the Good Hair movie coming out, and all the subsequent talk about relaxers and eurocentric beauty ideals, I think relaxed women are feeling kind of guilty. Say what you want about the current state of affairs, but the fact of it is that relaxers came out of black people trying their hardest to not look black. And when we are reminded of that, then it can be difficult to reconcile the choice to relax with embracing one's "blackness".

But it's fully possible to relax your hair and still appreciate and love your race and heritage. Just because you aren't natural doesn't automatically make you a self-loather, hair is only one part of racial identity. You don't have to sit there and come up with deep, mystical reasons for why you relax your hair. It's okay to just do you. If someone thinks that your hair is disgusting and you disagree, then say okay, throw up the deuces, and keep it moving. There's no need to be scrambling to justify yourself if you're secure in your decisions.

On the other hand, if what they are saying kind of resonates with you, and it makes you really feel some kind of way, then maybe you need to reevaluate your feelings towards your hair and yourself. And if you think you need to reevaluate, then instead of becoming hyper-defensive, then just go and get your meditation on and figure it out. Simply trying to bury those feelings with militancy is not going to help you in the long run.
(That was all in the general "you", not directed towards anyone)

I just think that everyone could do with some relaxing. Heehee, pun intended. Stop taking everything so personally. If you know that the shoe doesn't fit, then throw it to the side and move on with your life.

And then just basic respect would go a long way. If you're relaxed and can't see the beauty in natural hair or if you're natural and can't see the beauty in relaxed hair, then that's one thing. I feel sad for you, because you're missing out, but still, that's one thing. But when it comes to expressing those feelings, there are right ways and wrong ways to do it. And lately, I've noticed lots of people doing it the wrong way, acting like their mommas, or daddies, or grandmothers, or whoever raised them didn't teach them any better.
Calling someone's hair taco meat, attacking their intelligence...how is that supposed to facilitate calm and civilized discourse?

But I had to lol at how everyone brought up the taco meat example. smh.

Sorry for the long post, but I had to let it out.

 

[that_1_grrrl]

What's wrong with asking people why/when/where they relaxed or what prompted them to relax at a later age?

I don't quite get what is so negative about that. I am a natural, but I was relaxed at one point. I know what it's like, so I find it interesting to hear what it was like for others, especially those who relaxed at an older age.

So yeah, don't get it. But whatevs.

 

[beans4reezy]

Dang, I have got to start work! I'll read through this whole thread at home later. Very interesting thread OP

 

[Allandra]

Here we go again.

Closing this thread for obvious reasons.