"Black people's hair can't grow this long unless it's dreaded...." o.O

[D.Lisha]

Ladies of LHCF:
I come to you with somewhat of a rant...........
Ok so check this out:
Now I have this new "hair crush" at the office I work at.
If you all have read my first thread, "iRant"
You know pretty much about my first "hair crush"
Well there's this other lady that works around the office.....she has Hip-Length Dreds and they're BEYOU-ti-ful!
So she walks into the break room, dreds all swinging and touching the top of her booty.
I was in awe...and in the instant without even thinking about it
I decided to approach her......that's when things went LEFT FIELD:
Here's how the conversation went:
Me: *walks up behind her and say-->* "I love your hair...."
Rapunzel: *turns around from pouring her coffee*--> "Oh thank you "
Me: "How long have you been growing it out?"
Rapunzel:"Hmm...i'd say about eleven years"
Me: "yea...I'd like for my hair to get that long one day "
So here's where the convo went in LEFT field:
Rapunzel: "Yea, well you know most black people's hair can't get this long without it being dreded up...."
Me:
Rapunzel: "I mean there are a FEW out there that manage to get their hair this length without dreds......but not many"
By this time my "hair crush" faded off in an instant
Rapunzel:" because you know with the relaxers and everything...black women can't expect their hair to reach any significant length since it's constantly being broken off" *she glanced up at my relaxed hair*
Me: "well.....i'm currently in the process of growing my hair out...and it's growing well thus, far......*with attitude*"
Rapunzel: "I mean you have a healthy head of hair...but I doubt it would get as long as it would if it were dreded" *smile*
Me: "well you have a great day ma'am *insert fake-smile here*"
Rapunzel: "You too "
Lord I pray for the day when my hair reaches waistlength...she will be around so I can swang it in her FACE!
I no longer think of her as my "hair crush"....to me she has become MEDUSA! With snakes on her head!
lmao....
ok ok...i'm done
​

 

[nysister]

I'd just ignore it and keep moving along with your head up. She obvious has her opinion, and currently nothing will change it. Grow your hair for you, it'll love you for it!

 

[EllePixie]

NOOOO not the hair crush!! Don't you hate it when that happens?!?!

 

[ladysaraii]

I actually think she has a point about most relaxed women not being able to grow long hair. Not b.c it wont grow, but b/c most women cant or wont care for their hair properly and it breaks off.

And while I don't think dreads are necessary, I think it speaks to the benefits of protective styling (think crown and glory)

Don't think so harshly of her. Thank goodness we have LHCF, where we know that great lengths whether natural or relaxed, dreaded or loose, are possible.

 

[ms.blue]

Most of the length is shed hairs anyways.

 

[Tiye]

Most of the length is shed hairs anyways.

Nope - it's length - the shed hairs add bulk the same way that you can add bulk to a braid with extension hair, but the strands that are still attached but they're in there. If there's no root hair for the shed hair to wrap around then the lock breaks and falls off.

And the co-worker is technically correct. A few black women can grow hip length loose hair but the right combination of genetics and texture is key (been debated thousands of times on lhcf and ever other hair board and blog). For many black women - locks is the vehicle through which they'll get the most length.

 

[ms.blue]

Nope - it's length - the shed hairs add bulk the same way that you can add bulk to a braid with extension hair, but the strands that are still attached but they're in there. If there's no root hair for the shed hair to wrap around then the lock breaks and falls off.

And the co-worker is technically correct. A few black women can grow hip length loose hair but the right combination of genetics and texture is key (been debated thousands of times on lhcf and ever other hair board and blog). For many black women - locks is the vehicle through which they'll get the most length.

I stand corrected, thanks for the clarification. I always thought it was shed hairs that added to the length to the dreds.

 

[Stella B.]

Don't worry!! She's just sharing what she knows about her own personal long hair experience. Dreds are a style that lends itself to the hair being protected constantly, but its not the only way to do so. Thanks to all the natural, relaxed, straightened, curly, braided beauties here on the board, we know that there's more than one way to achieve your long hair dreams. Given enough time and healthy hair practices of your choice, most people can grow their hair to great lengths!

 

[frida1980]

Nah it's shed hairs. People that have taken their hair out find that their hair stops at some point leaving them with much shorter hair than they intended. After all the average live span of a hair is three years, that means at least 8 years of length is shed hairs.

I like locks, but I've come to realize that their kinda cop outs. We tend to think of them as the glory of african beauty, but their just locked hair done in a nice way. You don't have to care for them as much. You don't worry about them as much. It's sorta like permanent braids. It's sad that so many women think this is the only way to be natural or the only way to achieve length.

I think that speaks for this board and people that chose to wear their hair out instead of locking it. It's a lot harder and requires a lot more patience. I'll take my BSL length over her HL locks any day.

 

[SmilingElephant]

Don't worry Lisha....your hair will be Waist length one day. Perhaps she was just speaking from her own experience......if only those type of ppl would take the time to come to a hair site like this.

 

[MsLizziA]

Yea i wouldnt worry about it. I can understand her POV b.c thats mostly what u see with long hair, women with dreads. She just has to be shown better thats all

 

[D.Lisha]

Thanks ladies...I'm glad YALL understand me
I mean idk...I guess it brought me down because I was expecting so much more from her, like I guess I was walking up to her looking for her to be some kinda "Real-life" hair guru that had a grasp on alot of the same concepts that we LHCF(ers) have come to take a hold of.
But as you ladies have stated, I'm sure her generalizations (no matter how distorted they were) stemed from her own personal experiences. And I can't expect for her to share the same ideas and views that we have on here, right? :shrug:
Nonetheless, I'm still gonna show her a thing or two when my hair gets to it's desired length
She has now become my hair "nemesis"

 

[CurlyMoo]

I wouldn't be mad at her. She hasn't learned yet is all. I don't think she said that to be mean, she's just repeating what someone else told her or her own reality. Perhaps you guys can get to know each other better and she can learn from you. She can still be your hair idol as someone who has beautiful hair.

 

[NaturalBeauty<3]

LMAO at Medusa!!!!

 

[WAVES4DAYS]

I'm sorry for laughing OP, but that thurr was funny as he!!! Just shake it off and don't hurt her when you get to booty length. Sorry...still laughing!

 

[Afrobuttafly]

When ppl say stuff like that this is what they get from me..

I'm so tired of the "black hair just can't get right" mentality..but at the same time I can't be completely mad at the ppl that possess it..We were taught the wrong things! [collectively] That's why we have to keep educating others about healthy haircare practices. At least some of the ignorant will listen. When you get to WL OP..slang it one time for me..lol

 

[alive]

Ladies of LHCF:
I come to you with somewhat of a rant...........
Ok so check this out:
Now I have this new "hair crush" at the office I work at.
If you all have read my first thread, "iRant"
You know pretty much about my first "hair crush"
Well there's this other lady that works around the office.....she has Hip-Length Dreds and they're BEYOU-ti-ful!
So she walks into the break room, dreds all swinging and touching the top of her booty.
I was in awe...and in the instant without even thinking about it
I decided to approach her......that's when things went LEFT FIELD:
Here's how the conversation went:
Me: *walks up behind her and say-->* "I love your hair...."
Rapunzel: *turns around from pouring her coffee*--> "Oh thank you "
Me: "How long have you been growing it out?"
Rapunzel:"Hmm...i'd say about eleven years"
Me: "yea...I'd like for my hair to get that long one day "
So here's where the convo went in LEFT field:
Rapunzel: "Yea, well you know most black people's hair can't get this long without it being dreded up...."
Me:
Rapunzel: "I mean there are a FEW out there that manage to get their hair this length without dreds......but not many"
By this time my "hair crush" faded off in an instant
Rapunzel:" because you know with the relaxers and everything...black women can't expect their hair to reach any significant length since it's constantly being broken off" *she glanced up at my relaxed hair*
Me: "well.....i'm currently in the process of growing my hair out...and it's growing well thus, far......*with attitude*"
Rapunzel: "I mean you have a healthy head of hair...but I doubt it would get as long as it would if it were dreded" *smile*
Me: "well you have a great day ma'am *insert fake-smile here*"
Rapunzel: "You too "
Lord I pray for the day when my hair reaches waistlength...she will be around so I can swang it in her FACE!
I no longer think of her as my "hair crush"....to me she has become MEDUSA! With snakes on her head!
lmao....
ok ok...i'm done
​

You're hilarious she'll be alright. I'm glad you were nice and polite to her lol

 

[Freespirit02]

Well the lady never said that black hair can't grow..she just basically said it's easier for it to grow that long with dreads. I hate to say it..but she has a point. I have seen PLENTY of ppl with dreads down the their backside. I have never seen anyone with relaxed hair..or even regular natural hair that long. It's probably because of less manipulation. I don't see anything wrong with what she said. Also she had a point about relax hair. Most of the women I have seen with relaxed hair usually experience breakage..because they don't know about protein/moisture balance.

 

[cinnespice]

:realitycheck:I would not even worry about the ignorance spat out of rupuzel's mouth cause obviously she never been to this website or you tube and just passed out at the site of some the beautiful hair relaxed, tex-laxed, natural you name it, I believe it can grow as long as you take care of it.
Make sure when you reach waist and rapunzel is around you flaunt and swing you hair in front her so she know what'st up.

 

[EllePixie]

Well the lady never said that black hair can't grow..she just basically said it's easier for it to grow that long with dreads. I hate to say it..but she has a point. I have seen PLENTY of ppl with dreads down the their backside. I have never seen anyone with relaxed hair..or even regular natural hair that long. It's probably because of less manipulation. I don't see anything wrong with what she said. Also she had a point about relax hair. Most of the women I have seen with relaxed hair usually experience breakage..because they don't know about protein/moisture balance.

Do you just mean outside of the hair boards? Also, remember that with natural hair there is a TON of shrinkage, so you might not think someone's hair is long but it's down to their waist/butt. I've seen it plenty of times where a woman with natural hair will look like her hair is to her shoulders then she pulls it out and it's like, to her bum!

 

[lovely_locks]

I know this has nothing to do with your post, but you are so pretty! Do you do your own makeup?

 

[MrsMe]

Nah it's shed hairs. People that have taken their hair out find that their hair stops at some point leaving them with much shorter hair than they intended. After all the average live span of a hair is three years, that means at least 8 years of length is shed hairs.

I like locks, but I've come to realize that their kinda cop outs. We tend to think of them as the glory of african beauty, but their just locked hair done in a nice way. You don't have to care for them as much. You don't worry about them as much. It's sorta like permanent braids. It's sad that so many women think this is the only way to be natural or the only way to achieve length.

I think that speaks for this board and people that chose to wear their hair out instead of locking it. It's a lot harder and requires a lot more patience. I'll take my BSL length over her HL locks any day.

I beg to differ on the bolded. I am a loc wearer and this could not be farther from the truth. I still wash and condition my hair on a weekly basis. I still care about my ends (for different reasons now), my roots and everything in between. I still worry about my hair and how to care for them. And you will find that most loc wearers who care about their hair will deal with the same issues.
I quickly learned over the course of one year that locs are not as carefree as people may think. I think the only people who really enjoy that carefree side of locs are freeformers. Other than that, you still have to care for the hair that grows out of your scalp. It isn't easier and does not require less patience... Trust me when I say this: I FELT LIKE I WAS STARTING MY NATURAL HAIR JOURNEY ALL OVER AGAIN.
However, I don't agree with OP's co-worker in regards to achieving length with loose natural or relaxed hair. I had three years of sprouting before loc'ing my hair and there are too many beautiful heads of hair on this board to believe in the black-hair-don't-grow myth.
Sorry for hijacking the thread. I just wanted to clarify some myths about locs.

 

[frida1980]

I know several loc wearers, my mother is one of them. She has a loctician, so once every six weeks he tightens and grooms them. Other than that, she basically does nothing to them. And they look fantastic. Very nice, even, and down to her butt. She often puts it up or has someone else put it up. She adds some sort of mixture to calm itching and never washes it herself. I find them handy to see how much grays I should expect in the next 30 years. She and most loc wearer balk at everything I do to my hair.

My brother has them too. There half way down his back, he doesn't want them too long. He goes to the same salon and gets them tightened and groomed too. All of them are small, even, and of course long. Then there was the girl who had locs her entire life until college. I knew her since elementary school. Her mother would groom them for her. In high school she would wear updos, wavy looks, and curls. They hit her thighs before she decided to :cry cut them all off to wear her own hair for once.

I have seen some people with some really bad locs, but they've always been the ones that completely neglect them or try to do them themselves using all the wrong products and techniques. But just going by my families and friends hair, locking is kinda easy after the first two years. You just need a good loctition to start them and keep them up.

 

[softblackcotton]

Well you can't expect eveyone black women to be intune with these NEW fangled ideas of fully black women growing long hair. It's just been recently (within the last decade) that hair boards have been becoming popular and just the other day a lot of black women are learning about their hair and caring for it and just a hot min ago that we have access to seeing and talking to black women who significantly longer than shoulder length LOOSE black hair. So I really can't blame your hair crush. Before we discovered things like LHCF/fotki, Most of us were all in the same boat of stereotypical thinking due what we've experienced and seen in IRL.

 

[tallnomad]

I hate when people make ignorant comments like that.

Please point her to Stephanie Suthers. She has almost knee-length natural, coarse 4a/b hair--no locs nor a relaxer, but just all natural hair. I go to her to care for my hair and have seen her hair up close and personal. She specializes in growing african-textured hair to great lengths.

Stephanie's page

Here's a pic of her.

 

[Freespirit02]

Do you just mean outside of the hair boards? Also, remember that with natural hair there is a TON of shrinkage, so you might not think someone's hair is long but it's down to their waist/butt. I've seen it plenty of times where a woman with natural hair will look like her hair is to her shoulders then she pulls it out and it's like, to her bum!

I meant in real life..not in hair boards.

 

[brucebettye]

I agree with the lady because I cannot grow my hair long with a relaxer. I tried and it started to break off again and I was texlaxing. So I am transitioning to natural. Also I see many woman with sisterlocks that can grow their hair down their back and past their waist. But don't let what she said make you mad because their are lots of woman with long relaxed hair.