BF IMing chick on myspace

[Luxlii]

Im at home chilling with new bf. He is like can I chat with people? I say sure (thinking what is that). So I turn to say something to him and see some big booty chick on his screen.erplexed erplexedok. So I go back to what I was doing and turn back and he minimizes the page all quick. . I called the myspace expert my 16 year old brother and he is like that is an im. So I'm pissed he calls himself my bf and I am sitting right there. I have an L shapped desk and was really into what I was doing but I was freaking THERE. I dont know how to feel.

 

[ixoyegodisgood]

Im at home chilling with new bf. He is like can I chat with people? I say sure (thinking what is that). So I turn to say something to him and see some big booty chick on his screen.erplexed erplexedok. So I go back to what I was doing and turn back and he minimizes the page all quick. . I called the myspace expert my 16 year old brother and he is like that is an im. So I'm pissed he calls himself my bf and I am sitting right there. I have an L shapped desk and was really into what I was doing but I was freaking THERE. I dont know how to feel.

Seems to me he is testing the waters. Seeing what he can get away with. That's pretty darn bold to do that right next to you. erplexed

 

[-Volare]

Are you sure that wasn't one of those pop ups?

 

[Luxlii]

Seems to me he is testing the waters. Seeing what he can get away with. That's pretty darn bold to do that right next to you. erplexed

Yeah thats what I thought. Sigh.

 

[smwrigh3]

ask him if you can see the IM.. I don't about Myspace but I know facebook pulls up the previous converstation when u re open a chat with someone.

 

[Theresamonet]

You told him he could do it though...

 

[guudhair]

You told him he could do it though...

ITA...he did ask for your permission...you should have made sure you were clear about who these "people" were before you gave him your blessings...I highly doubt he would have been asking for your approval to "chat" with guys...

 

[Kerryann]

okay how old are you folks

 

[pookaloo83]

ITA...he did ask for your permission...you should have made sure you were clear about who these "people" were before you gave him your blessings...I highly doubt he would have been asking for your approval to "chat" with guys...

Common sense would be not to mack it to other women though. erplexed Whether she allowed it or not.

 

[Xavier]

Im at home chilling with new bf. He is like can I chat with people? I say sure (thinking what is that). So I turn to say something to him and see some big booty chick on his screen.erplexed erplexedok. So I go back to what I was doing and turn back and he minimizes the page all quick. . I called the myspace expert my 16 year old brother and he is like that is an im. So I'm pissed he calls himself my bf and I am sitting right there. I have an L shapped desk and was really into what I was doing but I was freaking THERE. I dont know how to feel.

If it was a 300lbs chick he was chatting with would you feel the same way?

ETA: He was chating with a "big booty chick"... did you even see their conversation?

I guess from what I read I don't see what made the OP so angry. Was it who he was talking to that has you upset, or the type of conversation they were having?

 

[JustKiya]

How long have y'all been dating? Have you had the exclusivity discussion? Have you established what your boundaries are as far as him chatting with other women? Have you asked him who he was talking to and what was up with the big booty girl? She might not have been the person he was talking to, as most chat systems aren't 'bound' to an individuals page.

*shrug* In my mind, chatting with a woman online isn't tantamount to cheating - or even 'testing the waters'....... esp. since you don't actually know who he was talking to.

 

[guudhair]

Common sense would be not to mack it to other women though. erplexed Whether she allowed it or not.

We don't know whether he was macking or not...or if he was in fact chatting with another woman...we do know that she said it was okay for him to chat with "other people" and that she saw a big booty picture on his screen...if he was chatting (not macking) he had/has every right to do so...if she didn't want him to chat with other women, then she should have said, "no"...or "who do you want to chat with?"...or "yes, but with guys or family only" or something along those lines.

 

[panama_princess6]

How long have y'all been dating? Have you had the exclusivity discussion? Have you established what your boundaries are as far as him chatting with other women? Have you asked him who he was talking to and what was up with the big booty girl? She might not have been the person he was talking to, as most chat systems aren't 'bound' to an individuals page.

*shrug* In my mind, chatting with a woman online isn't tantamount to cheating - or even 'testing the waters'....... esp. since you don't actually know who he was talking to.

I agree. So what she has a big booty... hes sitting next to you. If you had an issue with it you should of said something. It probably could've been a friend or a relative or co worker. At least he didn't hide it from you and never say anything at all.

You know what ALWAYS helps in these situations? Getting off myspace, facebook, twitter.... all of that. At least until more trust is established or getting a joint page.

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

I think you have more of a problem that it was another woman that you perceived him to be "attracted" to as opposed to the chatting. There's nothing wrong with what he did ... because he asked you... and you don't know what the conversation was about.

Depending on who answers you on here... this thread can give you a million ways to "think." You should just talk it out with him first

 

[pookaloo83]

We don't know whether he was macking or not...or if he was in fact chatting with another woman...we do know that she said it was okay for him to chat with "other people" and that she saw a big booty picture on his screen...if he was chatting (not macking) he had/has every right to do so...if she didn't want him to chat with other women, then she should have said, "no"...or "who do you want to chat with?"...or "yes, but with guys or family only" or something along those lines.

You're right. But I'm assuming because she said he closed the page all quick. Which makes me think he was up to no good.

 

[Theo]

That behavior is suspicious. I would have asked a lot more questions and then would have given him the side eye for about a week.

 

[ang3lface816]

I just wanna know why he would need to chat with other chicks anyway? I could see if its friend he knows in actual life.. and they are totally platonic... But he don't need to be chatting up no new female friends, while he is with OP.. Some of yall are being silly.. Come on now.. OR maybe just the type who will do and put up with anything to have a man..

And I do mean this(the above) with all due respect... but to me.. ITS A STRAIGHT UP NO.

 

[JustKiya]

I just wanna know why he would need to chat with other chicks anyway? I could see if its friend he knows in actual life.. and they are totally platonic... But he don't need to be chatting up no new female friends, while he is with OP.. Some of yall are being silly.. Come on now.. OR maybe just the type who will do and put up with anything to have a man..

And I do mean this(the above) with all due respect... but to me.. ITS A STRAIGHT UP NO.

There are a lot of assumptions in your post, and in the OP. She might or might not be a IRL platonic friend. She might or might not be some 'new' chick. Hell, he might or might not even have been chatting with Ms. BigBooty.



Just because you suggest that an individual gets the full story before they leap to conclusions that's he's untrustworthy doesn't mean that you are silly or put up with anyoldthing just to have a man. Right now, all we have is a question and a webpage - and no evidence they were even linked.

 

[ang3lface816]

I'm not assuming anything more than anyone else.. Everyone else is assuming she is insecure.. or its only cuz of the big butt.. Both are irrelevant to me.. I'm simply stating, what are his intentions in making new friends.. and like Pook said, why close the screen if I already said you could.. Obviously you being slick.

I was saying some ppl were saying she told him he could.. but it kinda goes without saying.. Within reason..
An adult shouldnt have to outline for another adult step by step what is appropriate. You know how you want to be treated.. So do likewise.. Does he mind her (OP) talking to other guys? Would it make any difference if the guy were attractive?What about if she closed the screen when he walked over? If not, then do yaw..

Maybe im suspicious of some ppl.. bc I've known too many sneaky dudes.. lol

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

I'm not assuming anything more than anyone else.. Everyone else is assuming she is insecure.. or its only cuz of the big butt.. Both are irrelevant to me.. I'm simply stating, what are his intentions in making new friends.. and like Pook said, why close the screen if I already said you could.. Obviously you being slick.

I was saying some ppl were saying she told him he could.. but it kinda goes without saying.. Within reason..
An adult shouldnt have to outline for another adult step by step what is appropriate. You know how you want to be treated.. So do likewise.. Does he mind her (OP) talking to other guys? Would it make any difference if the guy were attractive?What about if she closed the screen when he walked over? If not, then do yaw..

Maybe im suspicious of some ppl.. bc I've known too many sneaky dudes.. lol[/QUOTE]

That behavior is slick, I agree with you there. At the same time, she still said it was okay and you know the phrase, "Give em an inch and they'll take a mile?" It's possibly one of those situations.

I still think the last place she should address it first is here, as opposed to directly with him. Depending on what he says and how he acts afterwards will show him the character of this dude and how he acts. Here, the responses are based off the posters' projections. Every response is a projection of that person's lens. You see it as inappropriate but "women are willing to do anything to keep a man," and some of the others see it differently.

The fact that she specifies it was "some big booty chick" instead of "some random chick" seems to imply she felt some type of way about the situation because of who he seemed to be communicating with. That big booty girl could be someone he knows who's trying to model (lots of chicks use that "I'ma show my butt and get discovered" angle), someone he just might talk to here and there, someone who may have IMed him or simply IM spam. . . when she blasts people on IM to look at this or that... or just spam. I'm just saying, the fact that he minimized it doesn't look good but the fact she hasn't asked herself can allow us to say that there's a chance its not what it looks like.

Hopefully by this point, she's spoken to him about what happened... and go to the bottom of things... whether she gets an answer she wants to hear or not.

 

[SweetNic_JA]

From the perspective of a woman who met her SO online, this is clearly crossing a line. It's like flirting with someone right infront of your BF/GF. How serious are you two? Or better yet, what kind of boundaries are there in your relationship?

 

[ang3lface816]

I feel you LaurynDoll.. I'm just wondering why he didn't instead leave the screen open.. I know if I were doing something that could end up as one of those "it's not what it looks like" moments.. I would definitely leave the screen up.. and let the hubby read it if he wanted.. Just so he knows its truly platonic..

I think the op mentioned the booty thing b/c he is attracted to it.. But also with it being her main pic, it could be that he struck the conversation up with her based on it.... which kinda cancels out the just chatting.. Usually when a man is drawn to a certain thing.. there is a lot more going on in their mind than.. Wow what a nice shape.. Most of the ones I know, say that they sometimes start thinking sexually.. or how to get "it".

But op, Lauryn is right.. Ask him about it. But in a non-accusatory way..