At wits end

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I am so close to cutting I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know what is wrong with my hair. I have deep conditioned with every product known to man but yet and still my hair is frigging horrible when I straighten it. Dry strands, splits, I just don't know what to do. I am extremely angry and frustrated. Sometimes I don't know why I bother

Just needed to vent.

 

[Supergirl]

Help me out a little.

Are you saying you don't like the condition of your hair that is revealed when your hair is straightened OR are you saying that you would like better results when you straighten your hair?

 

[Supergirl]

Okay hun,

I'm going to bed, but I'd love to help you out more once I know which area your hair needs help in.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Help me out a little.

Are you saying you don't like the condition of your hair that is revealed when your hair is straightened OR are you saying that you would like better results when you straighten your hair?

Sorry, I left for a few minutes. Hopefully you will see tomorrow. I don't like the condition of my hair when it's straightened. Every split imaginable is on display, sometimes it's hard to run a comb through it, I am sure I have tons of split ends. I know heat is the devil, but I don't have a perm and my hair is super coarse. It takes a lot to make my hair straight. I was thinking about the aveda dr line, but I don't have a million dollars to spend right now on something that may/may not work. Sigh

 

[nurseN98]

Try not to be discouraged

I went through the same thing after I bc'd in 2005. I was doing these deep, deeeeep trims. Usually 2-3, sometimes 4 inches at a time and this was 3 or 4 times a year. I've finally figured what worked for me and this is recent (2007) so I'm excited. The main thing that helped me was baggying type of routine but as far as the products you use, you still got to experiment a bit. Even with the oils, the usuals like EVOO or plain shea butter didn't do the trick...I had to find what my hair liked (castor oil is the best)

Hang in there

ETA: you have a gorgeous head of hair!

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Try not to be discouraged

I went through the same thing after I bc'd in 2005. I was doing these deep, deeeeep trims. Usually 2-3, sometimes 4 inches at a time and this was 3 or 4 times a year. I've finally figured what worked for me and this is recent (2007) so I'm excited. The main thing that helped me was baggying type of routine but as far as the products you use, you still got to experiment a bit. Even with the oils, the usuals like EVOO or plain shea butter didn't do the trick...I had to find what my hair liked (castor oil is the best)

Hang in there

ETA: you have a gorgeous head of hair!

Thanks for the encouragement. I hear you about the deep trims. It seems I do that and it doesn't make a difference. When straightened I'm shoulder length. If I cut I feel like I would basically need to start over. I can't understand why when my hair is "natural and in its curly state" it looks great but when I straighten it looks like crap. You know how most ladies here straighten, their hair is smooth and sleek. Uhhh, nope, not happening here. My hair looks like a frigging mushroom when I straighten it. Maybe I just don't need to straighten, but I enjoy wearing my hair out on a regular basis erplexed

 

[nurseN98]

Thanks for the encouragement. I hear you about the deep trims. It seems I do that and it doesn't make a difference. When straightened I'm shoulder length. If I cut I feel like I would basically need to start over. I can't understand why when my hair is "natural and in its curly state" it looks great but when I straighten it looks like crap. You know how most ladies here straighten, their hair is smooth and sleek. Uhhh, nope, not happening here. My hair looks like a frigging mushroom when I straighten it. Maybe I just don't need to straighten, but I enjoy wearing my hair out on a regular basis erplexed

Girl, that's why I don't straighten much anymore...lol. My hair is in 257 layers (the pics don't really show what's going on) and there is not point to trimming it even cause I tend to get midstrand splits and all that too. It's gotten much better but it's not perfect yet. Once you figure out what works best for your ends, your hair will look better when you straighten it.

I've heard Aveda works well but I'm a little cheap so I have yet to try it
What are you doing for your ends now?

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Girl, that's why I don't straighten much anymore...lol. My hair is in 257 layers (the pics don't really show what's going on) and there is not point to trimming it even cause I tend to get midstrand splits and all that too. It's gotten much better but it's not perfect yet. Once you figure out what works best for your ends, your hair will look better when you straighten it.

I've heard Aveda works well but I'm a little cheap so I have yet to try it
What are you doing for your ends now?

Honestly, not much. As I'm sure you know, when wearing my hair natural it's hard for me to moisturize. It's like I'm fighting a forest of hair. Maybe it's the wash and go's that are damaging my hair?? What do you recommend I do?

 

[Supergirl]

Sorry, I left for a few minutes. Hopefully you will see tomorrow. I don't like the condition of my hair when it's straightened. Every split imaginable is on display, sometimes it's hard to run a comb through it, I am sure I have tons of split ends. I know heat is the devil, but I don't have a perm and my hair is super coarse. It takes a lot to make my hair straight. I was thinking about the aveda dr line, but I don't have a million dollars to spend right now on something that may/may not work. Sigh

If we are talking severe damage then a "deep trim" as nurse called it might be your best solution. However, judging from your signature picture your hair doesn't look damaged to me by any means.

Other options--a deeply moisturizing conditioner could really help. I don't know if you're familiar with the Aubrey Organics line, but I cannot beat their Honeysuckle Rose or Jojoba & Aloe Conditioners as far as moisture is concerned. You mentioned the Damage Remedy line from Aveda. It is great and I AM a fan, but it is not as moisturizing as the Aubrey conditioners I just mentioned.

Then when you do flat iron, is your hair length even? I think most naturals don't have even hair when it's straight. That could be bothering you regarding the appearance of your straight hair. I'm sure you use something on your hair to flat iron. (I'm assuming you flat iron and don't press--if you're pressing, CHUNK the pressing comb outside somewhere NOW!) Anyway, jojoba is great when flat ironing. So is Dudley Cream Press. The jojoba is light. The Cream Press is heavier, but oh it is just wonderful. It makes the hair so smooth and soft and luscious. I bet it would be great on heavy, thick hair like yours.

Please let us know how things progress.

 

[Cheleigh]

When your hair is in it's natural state, when you examine your hair, do you still see a lot of splits?

What exactly is your daily hair routine, and what products are you using?

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

If we are talking severe damage then a "deep trim" as nurse called it might be your best solution. However, judging from your signature picture your hair doesn't look damaged to me by any means.

Other options--a deeply moisturizing conditioner could really help. I don't know if you're familiar with the Aubrey Organics line, but I cannot beat their Honeysuckle Rose or Jojoba & Aloe Conditioners as far as moisture is concerned. You mentioned the Damage Remedy line from Aveda. It is great and I AM a fan, but it is not as moisturizing as the Aubrey conditioners I just mentioned.

Then when you do flat iron, is your hair length even? I think most naturals don't have even hair when it's straight. That could be bothering you regarding the appearance of your straight hair. I'm sure you use something on your hair to flat iron. (I'm assuming you flat iron and don't press--if you're pressing, CHUNK the pressing comb outside somewhere NOW!) Anyway, jojoba is great when flat ironing. So is Dudley Cream Press. The jojoba is light. The Cream Press is heavier, but oh it is just wonderful. It makes the hair so smooth and soft and luscious. I bet it would be great on heavy, thick hair like yours.

Please let us know how things progress.

See, thats what I don't get. When I wear it in it's natural state (either a wash and go, or twist out) it's like the damage/splits are hidden. I don't see how that's possible but my hair gets nice and curly and you can't see it. Does that make any sense?? I will order the aubrey you mentioned and give it a shot. I just can't drop the funds on the Aveda right now. I can use that as a down payment on my house I am also going to look into this cream press you mention (I've never heard of it!). Can't wait to get these products and give it a shot. Thanks for talking me down because I was very close to doing something drastic

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

When your hair is in it's natural state, when you examine your hair, do you still see a lot of splits?

What exactly is your daily hair routine, and what products are you using?

When my hair is in it's natural state I don't really examine it too much. It's kind of hard to do since the shrinkage is so great. I will try to take a look next time.

The products I use depend on if I'm wearing my hair straight or natural.

If natural i use the following:
co wash with vo5, suave, or tigi moisture maniac
Slop on either curly pudding, or garnier leave in conditioner for wash/go
slop on ors olive oil lotion for twist out

if straightened I run the gamut of products because I've been trying to findthe magical product(s) to get this mess looking good. I have probably used just about every product under the sun. Right now I wash with the neutragena conditioning shampoo, use one of various conditioners, then put in one of various leave ins, then my heat protectant (ellin lavar thermist, kms flatout straightening cream, or something else).

 

[CarefreeinChicago]

Try mizani thermasmooth kit it works well with my maxiglide

 

[nurseN98]

When my hair is in it's natural state I don't really examine it too much. It's kind of hard to do since the shrinkage is so great. I will try to take a look next time.

The products I use depend on if I'm wearing my hair straight or natural.

If natural i use the following:
co wash with vo5, suave, or tigi moisture maniac
Slop on either curly pudding, or garnier leave in conditioner for wash/go
slop on ors olive oil lotion for twist out

if straightened I run the gamut of products because I've been trying to findthe magical product(s) to get this mess looking good. I have probably used just about every product under the sun. Right now I wash with the neutragena conditioning shampoo, use one of various conditioners, then put in one of various leave ins, then my heat protectant (ellin lavar thermist, kms flatout straightening cream, or something else).

I've tried the garnier leave-in before and that is something that after a couple of weeks of using, gave me bad split ends. What i figured out is that heavy products like curly pudding & the garnier require actual shampoo once a week or every other week. In keeping my ends in check I have to do two things, apply something heavier to my ends after I use my leave-in (I use a homemade pomade made from castor oil, coconut oil & shea or mango butter) and at nights I cover the last 6 inches of my hair with a plastic cap...when I have energy I spritz my ends then use a mix of castor oil & red palm on my ends before I make two fat braids & cover.

I noticed not all oils work well for me for overnight treatments. Most of them just sit on top of my hair but castor & red palm...coconut oil too if it's mixed in the with the castor oil works as well.

With this routine my ends are finally doing better. I still get splits but not as bad as before. When I straighten (which is rare) my ends are still uneven but they look better overall.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Try mizani thermasmooth kit it works well with my maxiglide

I use the maxiglide too. Thanks for the tip! I've never used mizani but I've heard its great

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I've tried the garnier leave-in before and that is something that after a couple of weeks of using, gave me bad split ends. What i figured out is that heavy products like curly pudding & the garnier require actual shampoo once a week or every other week. In keeping my ends in check I have to do two things, apply something heavier to my ends after I use my leave-in (I use a homemade pomade made from castor oil, coconut oil & shea or mango butter) and at nights I cover the last 6 inches of my hair with a plastic cap...when I have energy I spritz my ends then use a mix of castor oil & red palm on my ends before I make two fat braids & cover.

I noticed not all oils work well for me for overnight treatments. Most of them just sit on top of my hair but castor & red palm...coconut oil too if it's mixed in the with the castor oil works as well.


With this routine my ends are finally doing better. I still get splits but not as bad as before. When I straighten (which is rare) my ends are still uneven but they look better overall.

I'm hoping the garnier didn't cause my splits I use that alot when not straightened. I didn't think a product could do that. I am not focusing on my ends the way I need to it seems. I am going to try some of the things you have mentioned (castor oil, red palm and shea butter) for the next few weeks and see what happens. Where do you recommend I get these products?

 

[LocksOfLuV]

I am so close to cutting I don't know what to do with myself. I don't know what is wrong with my hair. I have deep conditioned with every product known to man but yet and still my hair is frigging horrible when I straighten it. Dry strands, splits, I just don't know what to do. I am extremely angry and frustrated. Sometimes I don't know why I bother

Just needed to vent.

Aww Bree! I don't have much to say except we are here for ya. Let it ALLL out.

Could it be that you aren't straightening straight enough and your hair is just frizzy which could also look like split ends?

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Aww Bree! I don't have much to say except we are here for ya. Let it ALLL out.

Could it be that you aren't straightening straight enough and your hair is just frizzy which could also look like split ends?

LOL They talked me down so I'm ok now locks I almost lost it though girl!!!! To answer your question YES!!!! I can't get my hair straight to save my life. I know that I have splits, but my hair is so course it is damn near impossible to get it smooth and sleek. I use my maxiglide at the highest level and my hair laughs at it. It will be smooth for like an hour then it has reverted to a puffy/poffy dry, frizzy mess. I think there are a number of problems here including moisture and damage.

 

[LocksOfLuV]

LOL They talked me down so I'm ok now locks I almost lost it though girl!!!! To answer your question YES!!!! I can't get my hair straight to save my life. I know that I have splits, but my hair is so course it is damn near impossible to get it smooth and sleek. I use my maxiglide at the highest level and my hair laughs at it. It will be smooth for like an hour then it has reverted to a puffy/poffy dry, frizzy mess. I think there are a number of problems here including moisture and damage.

Girl try getting your hair professionally straightened! But if it were me, for a while I would DC and baby those strands (no heat of course). Then go in for a professional straightening and if they still look damaged get a trim.

I think the frizziness that you are experiencing could play a huge role in the look of your hair.

If you do want to try flat ironing your hair again, make sure you go in small small sections (about 1 inch wide and .25 and inch thick). Go slow and take your time. And if you need to give her an extra swipe or 2. Also, a coney conditioner and leave-in can help smooth the hair too!

 

[nurseN98]

I'm hoping the garnier didn't cause my splits I use that alot when not straightened. I didn't think a product could do that. I am not focusing on my ends the way I need to it seems. I am going to try some of the things you have mentioned (castor oil, red palm and shea butter) for the next few weeks and see what happens. Where do you recommend I get these products?

I'm not 100% the garnier caused this problem with YOUR hair but it did with mine. Castor oil you can get anywhere, I got mines from my local health food store...I get the cold pressed refined. I also have the Jamaican castor oil I get from here: http://www.sams247.com/SearchResult.aspx?KeyWords=isle

The shea butter I get from here: http://www.afrikanrepublic.com/pd_16oz_afrikan.cfm and the red palm oil I got from here: http://www.agbangakarite.com/whole_redpalmoil.php

 

[shocol]

If you want to try softening your hair from the inside out, try taking flax seed oil or capsules. I used to take 2 tbsp/day and it worked to soften my hair. It took about two weeks to finally feel it in my hair.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Thanks for the tip. Will is make even the ends moisturized? In other words, you noticed the difference from root to tip?

 

[Nonie]

Bre~Bre, I so wanna tell you to toss that flat iron away. And what happened to the siggy pic I wanted to marry? I love your hair natural so much that if I could rock that look, I'd only ever straighten when I could afford to get some pro to do it for me...and once in a blue moon.

How often do you DC? I used to DC regularly and my press back then turned out very well:

But I misplaced my dryer (Don't ask! ) and so didn't DC for months and my hair was dryer than usual, and that definitely showed in the press :

. Look familiar?

I'm now obsessed with DC-ing with moisturizing conditioners twice as much as I do with protein conditioners. I haven't tried a press since I got back to regular DCs after my BC, but I'm pretty sure I'd get a better press now coz my hair definitely feels better.

What do you use on your hair when it's not pressed/flat ironed? It's true once you find the product your hair loves, then you won't feel overwhelmed so much that you'll want to flat iron for manageability. For me S Curl turned my impenetrable bush into a soft, fluffy puff of curls.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Bre~Bre, I so wanna tell you to toss that flat iron away. And what happened to the siggy pic I wanted to marry? I love your hair natural so much that if I could rock that look, I'd only ever straighten when I could afford to get some pro to do it for me...and once in a blue moon.

How often do you DC? I used to DC regularly and my press back then turned out very well:

But I misplaced my dryer (Don't ask! ) and so didn't DC for months and my hair was dryer than usual, and that definitely showed in the press :

. Look familiar?

I'm now obsessed with DC-ing with moisturizing conditioners twice as much as I do with protein conditioners. I haven't tried a press since I got back to regular DCs after my BC, but I'm pretty sure I'd get a better press now coz my hair definitely feels better.

What do you use on your hair when it's not pressed/flat ironed? It's true once you find the product your hair loves, then you won't feel overwhelmed so much that you'll want to flat iron for manageability. For me S Curl turned my impenetrable bush into a soft, fluffy puff of curls.

Hi Nonie I took out my siggy pic due to frustrations that I won't go into. Thanks for the compliment My hair wanted to ask if you would sign a prenup Seriously, yes I was doing the dc (not religiously) but I it's using the right one that's the problem. I may be on to something now, but need to try it again before I claim it as a staple. Your hair is so long. I can't wait until I'm there.

 

[Nonie]

Your hair is so long. I can't wait until I'm there.

Girl, my hair is no longer there, thanks to ONE visit to a SHS. I'm here now.

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

Girl, my hair is no longer there, thanks to ONE visit to a SHS. I'm here now.

What in the H$ll??!!! I must have missed a story along the way. I'll be stepping out for a few hours, but I'll send ya pm when I get back.