ARRRGGHH....I Want To Go Back To Relaxers, But....

Recherché.Beauty

Recherché.Beauty

New Member
I like having mostly natural hair, but uggghhh...I'm tired of combing my crazy hair. I don't know what to do...I can go natural any time right? Help Me:mad:
 
l0l I know that, but I just want that flowy hair and the flowy ponytail. When i flat iron my hair I never lays down the way I want it too. My hair has never done what I want it to do..I don't know...I may be doing something wrong..I don't know
 
girl---I don't have any advice, but I feel you!

I am 100% natural and I am really considering going back to relaxers. For some reason I am having the hardest time retaining lenght.....:confused:

But yeah, you can always go natural---but you will still have to fight the fight of 2 textures until you BC

decisons, decisons....are you leaning more either way right now?
 
I'm leaning toward relaxers right now,but then my best friend will think I'm a sell out because I want a relaxer....but think about it...our hair are two different textures and her hair is much easier to handle then mine...I'd say she's a 3b..i'm more of a 3c/ 4a....and i got some naps l0l...I just want to have good hair days...I've NEVER had a good hair day l0l
 
Well my dont you get some braids or a weave so you dont think about ur hair so much..i am 100% natural, i did the B/C last yr june, and i have been weaving and braiding, so if i dont get the urge to relax too much, and the next thing u know, if u treat your hair right..u will retain your length b/c, u keep your hands out of your hair, keep it very simple with your hair..stay awway from the heat as much as u can!.protective hairstyles are key to keep your hair healthy and to retain length.
i say try some braids, that way u can get the feel of length, and u get a protective style to boot...
dont worry, ur length will come to you...it just takes some time, and lots of care...
 
Don't feel like you have to be natural if you want to relax. It's your hair. If you're not ready to be natural, you won't be happy with your hair until you relax. You really won't know the beauty of natural hair until you're 100% natural. I wish you happiness whatever choice you make. My hair is 3C all over except the nape which I say is 4a. It isn't as curly as the rest of my hair. I feel your struggle because the other times I went natural, I relaxed because I wanted the strait look. When you're truly ready to be natural, you'll have no doubt.
 
Thank I feel muchhh better..i'm going to try some braids out for a while and after that I'm going to see if I still want to be semi natural. If not I'll be back to ask a lot of questions about relaxed hair care...
 
DDtexlaxd said:
Don't feel like you have to be natural if you want to relax. It's your hair. If you're not ready to be natural, you won't be happy with your hair until you relax. You really won't know the beauty of natural hair until you're 100% natural. I wish you happiness whatever choice you make. My hair is 3C all over except the nape which I say is 4a. It isn't as curly as the rest of my hair. I feel your struggle because the other times I went natural, I relaxed because I wanted the strait look. When you're truly ready to be natural, you'll have no doubt.
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ITA. I am a "4a" I guess, and I will tell you, no nothing and nobody will prevent me from doing the BC in April. I want to be natural. I care not if my texture is "easier" or "more difficult" to manage than the next persons. The only thing I regret is not transitioning sooner--if I'd had the foresight to go natural in my early twenties--I'd have hair to my waist by now.

I will tell you that as a long-term transitioner who had a pretty easy time transitioning--it still sucks. Your hair still looks like crap when you're transitioning unless you keep it weaved or braided up. That's one reason I'm BCing--I'm tired of crappy looking hair. My natural hair has all this texture and interest and the relaxed hair is killing the entire look. I'm tired of wearing buns, so chop chop it is for me.

Good luck, whatever your decision.
 
When I flat iron my hair, its very swingy. And my natural texture is an afro. If you are concerned about having swingy hair you can try using no product before flat ironing and invest in some good flat irons like maxiglide and FHI.
 
Recherché.Beauty said:
l0l I know that, but I just want that flowy hair and the flowy ponytail. When i flat iron my hair I never lays down the way I want it too. My hair has never done what I want it to do..I don't know...I may be doing something wrong..I don't know
Click to expand...
I know exactly what you mean! I've been seeing some beautiful long relaxed hair lately and find myself staring at it almost drooling...:lol: Funny thing is, there were a bunch of us in my core group of friends on the natural journey for many different reasons. Then suddenly some of them started relaxing again for many different reasons and thoughts relaxing started plaguing me. I started noticing hair that's flowing and bouncing and saying...Wow! I've learned enough to get my hair to do that...but alas...I love, love LOVE my curls...Whatever you decide, you do it for YOU!
 
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caligirl said:
When I flat iron my hair, its very swingy. And my natural texture is an afro. If you are concerned about having swingy hair you can try using no product before flat ironing and invest in some good flat irons like maxiglide and FHI.
Click to expand...
Soo....you use no product until after flatironing to get this swingy look?
 
onepraying said:
I know exactly what you mean! I've been seeing some beautiful long relaxed hair lately and find myself staring at it almost drooling...:lol: Funny thing is, there were a bunch of us in my core group of friends on the natural journey for many different reasons. Then suddenly some of them started relaxing again for many different reasons and thoughts relaxing started plaguing me. I started noticing hair that's flowing and bouncing and saying...Wow! I've learned enough to get my hair to do that...but alas...I love, love LOVE my curls...Whatever you decide, you do it for YOU!
Click to expand...


YES! Because I'm at the mall with friends and all these girls with armpit length hair and beyond are just walking by swing their head and even girls with short hair swing their heads too and it's flowy and I'm sitting their like awwww....so pretty l0l....but then I do like my curls too, but I'm just stuck in the middle, but I'll wait until after my sister's wedding to see what I'm going to do.
 
Hey RB. You have to do what's best for you. Don't worry about what other people think. You are doing right by waiting to make your decision. Give it some thought, and do what will make YOU happy. Your hair will require continuous care either way. Good luck!
 
You are 18, do what you want to do. If you want relaxed hair..then relax, if you want to go back to natural..chop and go natural. you are in your prime. just like fashion, makeup, boyfriends (lol). You can change it up when you want. Don't feel you HAVE to do anything. Going natural is just another hairstyle, just like going relaxed or texturized.
 
Thank you ladies soo much....I'm leaning toward that relaxer right now,but I'm going to wait until after I come from Atlanta in March....If I make the relaxer decision, I'm going to come back and ask A LOT of questions before I get it done
 
Recherché.Beauty said:
l0l I know that, but I just want that flowy hair and the flowy ponytail. When i flat iron my hair I never lays down the way I want it too. My hair has never done what I want it to do..I don't know...I may be doing something wrong..I don't know
Click to expand...
With natural hair, it's best to work with your hair instead of against it.

For example, when I do two strand twists, some don't act right... meaning some wanna stick out, some wanna curl up, some wanna go in the opposite direction desired.

And you know what? You can have this same problem with relaxed hair... relaxed hair isn't a guarantee "Oh, my hair is gonna do what I want it to do" deal. ;)
 
DDtexlaxd said:
Don't feel like you have to be natural if you want to relax. It's your hair.
Click to expand...
This is true too. Just make sure you know what you really want to do with your hair before jumping into something you may not wanna do.
 
Recherché.Beauty said:
I'm leaning toward relaxers right now,but then my best friend will think I'm a sell out because I want a relaxer....but think about it...our hair are two different textures and her hair is much easier to handle then mine...I'd say she's a 3b..i'm more of a 3c/ 4a....and i got some naps l0l...I just want to have good hair days...I've NEVER had a good hair day l0l
Click to expand...


First of all, I just want to say good luck to you, whatever you may decide! :)

Now, if you decide to stay natural, or relax and go natural years later, you will never be satisfied if you compare your hair to that of other people or keep thinking that because you have naps, your hair is going to be hard to do and that your life will be full of "bad hair days."

Your friend may be a 3b, but that doesn't mean her hair has to be easier to handle -- natural hair of any type is easy to handle once you understand that it can't be handled like naturally straightened or relaxed hair. I'm a 3c/4a as well, and my hair routine is much different as a natural than it was when I was relaxed, but it's so simple to me now since I'm working WITH it, not against it.

My point is, no matter what you do with your hair, don't buy into the whole hype about some textures having it easier (unless you're only talking about easier to straighten) just because their curl is looser.
 
L0L I'm talking about easier to straighten and I was thinking about it today while going home. I want to expierence healthy relaxed hair and healthy natural hair too.. So I'm like why don't I just start off with the relaxed hair first and try that out for a year or two and if I don't like it.. I'm going natural...I don't want to go natural and then relax ALL of my hair..So i'm just going to sit and think about it. I told my best friend what I was doing and she's like you're a traitor and I was like "Nah, I'm not a traitor I actually embraced my naps unlike you always straigthen it talking about I can't go around with nappy hair...well you are natural, so what do you expect?"
 
Recherché.Beauty said:
L0L I'm talking about easier to straighten and I was thinking about it today while going home. I want to expierence healthy relaxed hair and healthy natural hair too.. So I'm like why don't I just start off with the relaxed hair first and try that out for a year or two and if I don't like it.. I'm going natural...I don't want to go natural and then relax ALL of my hair..So i'm just going to sit and think about it. I told my best friend what I was doing and she's like you're a traitor and I was like "Nah, I'm not a traitor I actually embraced my naps unlike you always straigthen it talking about I can't go around with nappy hair...well you are natural, so what do you expect?"
Click to expand...


Thanks for explaining!

And yeah, if I were you and wanted to experience both healthy relaxed and healthy natural hair, I'd do the relaxed hair first, like you said. :)

No matter what, show us pictures!
 
Recherché.Beauty said:
L0L I'm talking about easier to straighten and I was thinking about it today while going home. I want to expierence healthy relaxed hair and healthy natural hair too.. So I'm like why don't I just start off with the relaxed hair first and try that out for a year or two and if I don't like it.. I'm going natural...I don't want to go natural and then relax ALL of my hair..So i'm just going to sit and think about it. I told my best friend what I was doing and she's like you're a traitor and I was like "Nah, I'm not a traitor I actually embraced my naps unlike you always straigthen it talking about I can't go around with nappy hair...well you are natural, so what do you expect?"
Click to expand...

That's not cool, but I have been there before except my friends were telling me that I'd be bald if I kept relaxing, honestly, now that I found LHCF, even if I do relax i will NOT GO BALD. Take your time, do what you want, if you're lusting after relaxed hair go for it, make yourself happy :)
 
onepraying said:
Soo....you use no product until after flatironing to get this swingy look?
Click to expand...

Nada. Zilch. I figure whatever is left in my hair after I rinse the deep conditioner is enough protection. And I only let the blowdryer/flat iron touch my hair for a second (never any smoke or burn smell).
 
Recherché.Beauty said:
YES! Because I'm at the mall with friends and all these girls with armpit length hair and beyond are just walking by swing their head and even girls with short hair swing their heads too and it's flowy and I'm sitting their like awwww....so pretty l0l....but then I do like my curls too, but I'm just stuck in the middle, but I'll wait until after my sister's wedding to see what I'm going to do.
Click to expand...
I see the same thing, but I know that as a natural, I have more styling options, since I can have straight, swingy hair anytime I want to, without the commitment, then go back to curls at any time as well. In fact, whenever I straighten my hair, it's not long before I'm ready to go back to my natural texture.

As long as you do what's best for you, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says.
 
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