are you just frustrated and fed up...

[pureebony]

Cuz i am, i have been natural since 03, and all i have to show for it is a history of damage challenges and neck length hair... im just so over it now, i want long hair so much, that im actually getting tired of chasing the dream- basically this is just a thread to vent my frustrations and annoyance really- sorry.

I spent ages researches doing so many things to help my hair, but eventually ruining into a stumbling block or another, i even began a grow an inch a month challenge and there is nothing to show for it... basically if you ever just feel crappy and frustrated feel free to join me in my vent.

its very therapeutic!

 

[southerncitygirl]

most of us spent a huge chunk of our lives relaxed so learning our natural hair won't happen overnight. i transitioned and have been natural longer than you and am only apl.......i've learned so much through trial and error about products, dusting, etc. for my hair i must get a dusting every 6months, me waiting 9 months cost me several inches (from almost 1 full inch below bsl back to apl)....its not easy to be patient and i want wsl since i never knew i could get to apl....its also frustrating when you see others progress quickly than you without as much maintanence, but i will not give in. wsl by dec 2011 or early 2012 here i come!!!

 

[pureebony]

thanks for being honest hon, sometimes i find that its overwhelming the progress i see made by other ladies on here, and i keep having to cut, the damage off my hair from silly mistakes. I just feel as though i need to honestly get a tight reign on my hair, or im gonna keep going through this cycle over and over again!!

but i do agree i will keep my chin up and eyes on the goal- hip length hair! miracles can happen! lol

 

[DDTexlaxed]

This is why I have decided to stop logging my progress by looking at others. I need to learn how to care for my own hair and end a cycle of destruction on my hair. In MY case, I kept BCing and relaxing over again. I was really trying to force my hair to grow faster by relaxing. I tell you that my natural hair retained more length than my relaxed hair. When I did wash n gos and just let it be, my hair grew and retained. I just did not appreciate it because shrinkage and discouragement blinded me. Sometimes it is best to do less to your hair. I am learning that now and I am hopefully on my way to healthy natural hair. Relaxing your hair won't make it long. Better hair care will. I learned the hard way. I hope I can help you avoid the same mistakes I made.

 

[lushcoils]

I can relate. Have done like 4 BC, been natural for years. Struggling to get 5 inches. Tried so many methods. It just breaks and breaks. ugh. All I can do and hope and pray it grows one day.

 

[SlantedEyezMiss2003]

I agree, with the post above, I'm not natural, but when I started growing my hair out, I was checking it all the time, doing things to it, etc, and my hair just wouldn't grow, I spent money on products, researched, etc everything u can think about, I was so impatient, I did everything, also paid hundreds of dollars on oils, thinking my hair would grow over night, and just one day, i got tired of doing my hair, and it started growing, i didn't buy much products, and I saved money, why dont u make a natural hair journal, and tape pics of your fav natural ladies in the journal write down what u do, what u use, etc, and see if that helps. I have a hair journal with natural and relaxed ladies with the MBL and longer, and everytime I get down or just wanna give up, I look through my journal and get motivated again....HTH.

 

[MaintaintheSexy]

BUMPING! BUMPING! BUMPING!

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

Wow I can totally understand your dilemma.

I have only been natural a little over two years and ever so often I feel like why is my hair cutting a fool? I too have had some setbacks, but I try to step back and see what may have went wrong....Usually its something I did (or didn't do)...so I try to re-trace my steps and go from there.

Its natural to get frustrated with this way of life...I know I do...But maybe you have to think about the reasons WHY you became natural in the first place....sometimes going back to the beginning of our journey puts things in perspective...Perhaps at that time you were super super motivated and along the way you got tired or things in your life changed for some reason...which can sometimes make our reasons get blurred....

Finally, I don't know what your spiritual beliefs are but I do believe in God....When I decided not to perm my hair once it grew out, I was very afraid...I actually prayed to God about my hair and put my hands on my head and prayed that it stayed healthy, grew more than in broke off, and that I would have the strength to stay on this journey (cause I tend to have a lazy spirit...lol).....and so far, after 26 months I have been pretty successful (Thanks to God).....For me this journey is spiritual.....I remember at one point I even stop worrying so much about length....I have a goal, but I don't force it....I aim for a timetable but I have fallen short of my own deadline a few times and thats okay....Just keep your faith, go back to your purpose, and if you have to, start from scratch....you don't have to BC again to start over either.....sometimes a tweak here or there will do it!

Be blessed....

 

[Gigi-07]

What is your hair type, OP?

 

[pureebony]

Boy have i prayed to God for long locs!!! lol

i have that hair type that loves to get tangled its the cotton like 4a hair that goes in a s shape all over with 3c strands at the back. im actually sitting here detangling it as we speak, tonnes of conditioner a wide tooth comb and my denman.

i hear what ya'll are saying but im just so fed up, 7 years i have been doing this?!?

but i guess its learning with every error... man its frustrating!!!

 

[lea86111]

i feel you (i had a looooonnnggg spiel but i'm posting frm the phone and somebody called and i lost it all ) but at this point in my life that i got a handle on health, i get discouraged looking at other ladies on here and their hair that blings and swings...how do I get that?

 

[locabouthair]

I agree with souterncity girl, it can take time to learn what your natural hair likes. I definitely understand how you feel. I'm not 100% happy with my hair. I have a lot of breakage at the demarcation line from stretching too much. But I'm trying to be thankful. All I wanted was APL. Never wanted really long hair. I will still try to take care of it but I will not obsess over growth anymore. I'm just gonna let it do what it do while I focus on other important goals.

 

[Whimsy]

Aww HUGS to all the frustrated folks. OP, I'm sorry you're goin thru it right now with your hair. I hope you find a nice simple reggie to stick to that works well for you.

 

[Fhrizzball]

What's your hair regimen like? Does your hair feel healthy at the moment?

 

[CherryCherryBoomBoom]

OMG, I know exactly how you feel. Though I've only been at this journey for 2 years, not nearly as long as you, but I get frustrated to the point of tears at the poor progress I seem to be making so far . When I see women on here managing to get from SL to like MBL in one year, I just cannot help but feel mega jealous erplexed. I've felt like I've done all I can for my hair, yet I'm struggling to reach APL, reach is all I want really . But oh well, Imma just have to stop thinking about my hair so much now. So far for the last so many weeks I've been wearing it in cornrows so it's low maintenance and I don't have to look at my hair everyday. Next I'll probably try a weave.

Sorry this has been happening to you OP, and others . Hopefully we'll get there in the end. Remember though, at the end of the day it is only hair, as long as you're healthy overall, I think we should all try to be grateful for what we do have

 

[lilsparkle825]

i hope you find what it is that your hair is asking for in order to thrive. i can definitely see where frustration would come into play. what is your current regimen, OP?

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

i am frustrated with my hair in its loose, curly state. i like many, was relaxed my whole life. i decided to transition this last time i went natural. with it beinb between sl and apl, i am feeling so overwhelmed. last time i was natural i just had a twa. what is really helping me though is keepin my hair in twists. they are a life saver right now. nothing i do with my loose hair is right, and it looks wonky. hopefully once i get past this awkward hurdle, i can wear my hair out again, but as of right now, i'm not feelin it. ♥

 

[BostonMaria]

Just sending you some hugs.

When my hair was relaxed I used to be so frustrated about the length of my hair. I'd suffer set back after setback and my hair was never past SL. I think you'll need to take a step back and really assess the situation. Is it the natural hair? Is it the regimen?

In case you're curious, for me it was the overlapping relaxers and the lack of moisture. I'm now natural and take better care of my hair. Sometimes it can be something as silly as wearing a satin scarf to bed. As a natural my hair hates wash n go's and loves rollersets. Whatever it is for you just know you're no alone. Most of us have been where you are.

 

[Tiye]

It sounds like you may be frustrated coz you're trying too many different things. Consider simplifying. Choose a few products that work and stick with them. Consistency is key coz nothing happens overnight, most products and techniques work over time - not instantly. So if you're always jumping from one bandwagon or trend to the next you're not giving anything enough time to deliver results. Also consider choosing a protective styling regimen and sticking with it - e.g. braids, weave, wigs, etc. If any braids are involved just make sure they are not too small or too tight and always take them down and detangle carefully. This method is very effective as long as you're in good health. Don't compare yourself to others - everyone is different. You'll find that your hair will grow when you stop worrying about it.

 

[Imani]

Yup, I've been frustrated many times. Like another poster upthread, I just want APL, or even a really healthy full SL, and it even seems like that is out of reach. I've been trying to get longer healthy hair for about 4 and a half years now. It would do good for a while, then something will happen and I'd find myself starting back over again.

When I'd get too fed up, I'd take breaks from coming on hair boards and taking pics, etc. After my last break, I decided to transition, so I'm back and have been transitioning for about a year with no major setbacks thus far. and a goal of reaching APL at the end of 2011.

 

[pureebony]

how weird i was trying to post, and i couldn't it kept saying that i was not allowed to!!

 

[pureebony]

well i keep my regime simple, i wear weaves and wigs, and to be honest its helping a bit, its just those knots, they are so frustrating!!

my hair just wants to coil up in itself! i have figured that when i wash with shampoo i have to do it in my cornrows then deep con in them too the take them out and detangle each row one my one then rinse. it seems to be helping, and daily moisturizing as well as my growth aid.

im just finding it discourgaing its taking so long, and yes it is easy to say dont look at what everyone else is doing, but it is quite hard to, on a forum where there is a long hair beauty in almost every thread!!!



but i know if i keep doing what im doing the progress will get there, im just like some of you feeling a bit crappy about it that's all.