Are Sistas driving brothers away.

[Misseyl]

Moved to the Entertainment section

 

[supermodelsonya]

Was this posted in the wrong forum? Perhaps?

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

^Methinks so.

That being said, to address the question. You first need to know whats in many of these men's hearts. Some of them are genuinely with these women because they fell in love and have built a fullfilling relationship based on respect....... others are with these women because they're "status symbols" and are indicative of "making it"....if a man falls into the category of the latter, and is the kind of man who hasn't been raised to have pride in who he is and respect for black women weather they're well to do or not, then they dont need a sista to drive them away.....someone has already driven away the pride from their hearts.

Thats not on our shoulders.

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

Umm alot of them are undercover so a other race lady might be best..and some werent all that so again its for the best with other race ladies..

 

[happylife]

wrong forum op

 

[Thann]

I don't see how black women are responsible for pushing black men to marry and date other races.

I think the real causes involve personal preference, self-hate and/or status.

Which category ppl TRUTHFULLY fall into is the question I’m curious about.
.

 

[Detroit2Dallas]

hmmm, although I'm not against interracial dating (I've done it myself) that really made me kind of sad. Because although black men and women do marry we dont get married as often. Black women are often the girlfriend or the "baby mama" (hate that word) but not as often the wife. I know somebody will get mad at the statement but *kanyeshrug*. I dont like that she only focused on famous blackmen, thats pretty one sided but that also speaks volumes especially when it comes to the transfer of multi-generational wealth.

I dont believe that black women are "driving" brothas away, I believe that there are way deeper more sociological issues at play that may or may not involve a sistah at all. Look at the images that are constantly saturating us. Look in fashion, in sitcoms, in commercials (ever notice that lots of commercial will portray the black woman with her child(ren) and the white woman with her husband and kids..yeah thats subliminal and deliberate) look at our cartoons for children (why does disneys first black princess not have a black prince? think about that) music videos, we've bought into the lie of stereotypes. So yeah I dont think that we can truly place the blame completely on sistahs shoulders, I blame us for settling for less then what we deserve (being that girlfriend or baby mama, shacking and not putting up standards) but thats a whole notha bag of worms. And thats the thing, you can never have an accurate view of AA's issues without thoroughly examining the whole thing, and its very complex when she asks the question of are black women driving brothas away shes blaming the victim in part...she's asking a surface question and its a pandora's box kind of answer thats required.

 

[Rastafarai]

 

[ActionActress]

hmmm, although I'm not against interracial dating (I've done it myself) that really made me kind of sad. Because although black men and women do marry we dont get married as often. Black women are often the girlfriend or the "baby mama" (hate that word) but not as often the wife. I know somebody will get mad at the statement but *kanyeshrug*. I dont like that she only focused on famous blackmen, thats pretty one sided but that also speaks volumes especially when it comes to the transfer of multi-generational wealth.

I dont believe that black women are "driving" brothas away, I believe that there are way deeper more sociological issues at play that may or may not involve a sistah at all. Look at the images that are constantly saturating us. Look in fashion, in sitcoms, in commercials (ever notice that lots of commercial will portray the black woman with her child(ren) and the white woman with her husband and kids..yeah thats subliminal and deliberate) look at our cartoons for children (why does disneys first black princess not have a black prince? think about that) music videos, we've bought into the lie of stereotypes. So yeah I dont think that we can truly place the blame completely on sistahs shoulders, I blame us for settling for less then what we deserve (being that girlfriend or baby mama, shacking and not putting up standards) but thats a whole notha bag of worms. And thats the thing, you can never have an accurate view of AA's issues without thoroughly examining the whole thing, and its very complex when she asks the question of are black women driving brothas away shes blaming the victim in part...she's asking a surface question and its a pandora's box kind of answer thats required.

I agree with the bolded statements.

Ladies please stop taking blame for everything black men do. Black men are accountable (or should be) for their own actions.

Actually I think it is an image little girls DO need to see.(The Frog movie) I see nothing wrong with it, it is progress as I see it.

In my opinion, black women do need to spread our wings quite a bit more. The numbers do show that there are more black women (in US) than black men, then figure in the figures for thos in jail, gay or marrying other women and even if ALL black women married black women, there will still be millions of black women who will NOT marry black men because of the numbers.

Let us take a look at G.I. Joe and Hancock with Will Smith. Fair is fair and black women/girls have been told in many ways that they are undesirable. There is an assumption that we are not desirable to any other men in this world.


To address the question: No black women are not driving away black men. Black men simply (in many cases) want other women. Curiosity? self-hate? Love? it varies. The problem lies when black women continue to not open up to other men and give them a chance. The rate I think for black men is 14% rate of marriage to other women (with their small numbers) and 4% for black women with their large numbers. Something socially is a bit off, if I may say so. Usually in a situation when their is a dominant society over the "conquered", the dominant males usually marry the "conquered" women. But this is something different where the "conquered" males are marrying the dominant females.

I have no fear of black men marrying or prefering women of other backgrounds. Go ahead.

Hey, I do the same. And I love me some vanilla....so what they (BM)do is not my concern.



I will say again, black women NEED to spread wings, and I think we'd be very surprised at the response from men of other kingdoms and nations. Heck!! many of us are not getting it from our blackcounter parts and if not----time to go!!

And BTW....get a dang on PASSPORT and travel!! Go beyond "Waitin' Ta Exhale" head for ...(Europe perhaps??)

(And the penis size thing is a myth-----don't ask!!)

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Good GRACIOUS that list is long!

I also think a contributing factor is that so many sista's grew up in single family households that they don't really know what a healthy functional marriage looks like and thus have a much harder time cultivating that in adulthood.

Hollywood is just a whole different animal and it does get to people I think....

 

[HauteHippie]

Good GRACIOUS that list is long!

I also think a contributing factor is that so many sista's grew up in single family households that they don't really know what a healthy functional marriage looks like and thus have a much harder time cultivating that in adulthood.

Hollywood is just a whole different animal and it does get to people I think....

I totally agree with this, as well as the post above it and most of the post above that one (I'm not so angry that the Prince wasn't black. He wasn't white, either. But his personality sucked initially and that would have been something else for people to talk about.).
I think it's important to sit down and talk about expectations/needs when embarking on a new relationship. I've seen friends lose the man they loved b/c they couldn't figure how to give affection, forgive, talk things through, and most importantly, form a PARTNERSHIP. They just couldn't get it. It's hard to relinquish a little control and expect someone else to hold up their end of the bargain, but sometimes the leap of faith is worth it.