Anyone Indecisive as I Am? (VENT)

[Platinum]

Is anyone having the same problem as I am? My hair is a HAM and I don't know what to do with it. It's too short for most styles that I like and nothing seems to work! I'm stepping into my 25th week of transitioning and I thought about relaxing but every time I see natural pics, I change my mind. Then, I thought about texlaxing or texturizing but I keep having the "what if doesn't turn out the way I want" question pop into my head. Shrinkage is HELL! I took this pic the other day and posted it in another thread:

No matter what I do, I end up looking like this in the morning.erplexed I've tried coconut/lime, yogurt, and sour cream mixes and nothing works. I have softer NG but that's it. I won't be home until next week and the 100+ temperatures are helping. I wear my wig because it's too hot.

Anyone one else dealing with this? Tell me I'm not alone. (I'm sure there aren't many here. I see too many pics and fotki's of beautiful heads of hair). Suggestions? HELP!

 

[vestaluv1]

Is anyone having the same problem as I am? My hair is a HAM and I don't know what to do with it. It's too short for most styles that I like and nothing seems to work! I'm stepping into my 25th week of transitioning and I thought about relaxing but every time I see natural pics, I change my mind. Then, I thought about texlaxing or texturizing but I keep having the "what if doesn't turn out the way I want" question pop into my head. Shrinkage is HELL! I took this pic the other day and posted it in another thread:

No matter what I do, I end up looking like this in the morning.erplexed I've tried coconut/lime, yogurt, and sour cream mixes and nothing works. I have softer NG but that's it. I won't be home until next week and the 100+ temperatures are helping. I wear my wig because it's too hot.

Anyone one else dealing with this? Tell me I'm not alone. (I'm sure there aren't many here. I see too many pics and fotki's of beautiful heads of hair). Suggestions? HELP!

Ditto to everything in the bolded!
My saviour is my wig ... without wigs, I don't know what I would do.
I have two problemS:
1. I'm transitioning so the two textures don't blend at all so I'd rather cover it up. Don't even mention braid outs... they DON'T come out right on me at all...

SEE WHAT I MEAN.

2. I feel like my hair is too short to style, it has zero body and I really don't want to use too much heat anyways... don't like rollersets .

SO I GUESS I'LL BE WEARING WIGS 4 A WHILE!

Platinum... how about braid extensions, cornrow extensions, twists or weaves?

 

[Platinum]

That's the unfortunate thing being away from home. Finding a place to get it done without paying a months rent is one thing. I called a few places when I was in Phoenix Arizona the other day and everyone that I called charges $250 and up (even for a sew-in). If I find somewhere I have to worry about trying to find a place to park the "big rig" . I was wearing Kinky Twists but I took them out because I had so much NG. I was afraid that I would have breakage if I left them in longer. 95% of my twists were like this before I took them out.

This is what I mean by "Big Rig". This is the truck I drive:

Sorry the quality isn't good. I took the pics with my phone.

 

[vestaluv1]

OMG !
That's one serious looking truck. I see what you mean.

 

[Whimsy]

how do wash n go's look?
braidouts?
twistouts?
bantu knot outs?
slicked back in a bun or 2 buns?

I say stick it out and pull through w/ your transition and retain some length.

to answer your question, yes, i am as indecisive as you, and 6/7 months into my transition i was a HAM and indecisive and begging for help in the transitioners support thread (are u over there by the way? it's a good thread)

you can stick it through!!

 

[Soliel185]

That's the unfortunate thing being away from home. Finding a place to get it done without paying a months rent is one thing. I called a few places when I was in Phoenix Arizona the other day and everyone that I called charges $250 and up (even for a sew-in). If I find somewhere I have to worry about trying to find a place to park the "big rig" . I was wearing Kinky Twists but I took them out because I had so much NG. I was afraid that I would have breakage if I left them in longer. 95% of my twists were like this before I took them out.

This is what I mean by "Big Rig". This is the truck I drive:

Sorry the quality isn't good. I took the pics with my phone.

I'm in Gilbert AZ ( 20 mins from Phx) and the chick I go to starts 'rows @ $55. I've seen people on Craigslist advertizing sew-ins for $90 too. You shoulda said something!

 

[naturalmanenyc]

At 24 weeks and 3 days post right now and considering a texturizer.

I flat ironed on Sunday and it was a HAM within a few hours (humidity and rain). I am planning to try a dominican salon (rollerset and flat iron) to see how that turns out since the blow outs are just too damaging. I am still recovering from breakage during my last blow out 2 months ago.

Lately I have been wearing the SouthernTease bun and putting gel on the top of my head (with a scarf) while I drive to the office. By the time I get to work it looks decent instead of the typical HAM.

Sometimes I stuff it, sometimes I don't; however this is my hair almost daily. http://public.fotki.com/RegsWife/a-new-protective-updo/

 

[CandacyEliz]

I'm into my sixth month as well - I'm taking it a day at a time - everytime i wash my hair and feel my newgrowth is a motivation for me -

how about braids? im thinking about getting some soon just to take the temptation away and im not very found of them on me

maybe change up your wig styles, because from what ive heard they are great for transitioning

 

[Platinum]

I'm in Gilbert AZ ( 20 mins from Phx) and the chick I go to starts 'rows @ $55. I've seen people on Craigslist advertizing sew-ins for $90 too. You shoulda said something!

I didn't know you live near Phoenix. I'll PM you for info. Whimsy, I WISH I had enough hair for a bun .

Thank you for your suggestions. I'm still undecided though. Maybe I'll try a roller set again.

 

[RegaLady]

I am VERY indecisive right now. I am only 3 months into my transition, and I am getting frustrated. I am wearing curly and wavy wigs, but that NG just won't quit. To make matters worse, I went to a fish fry this past weekend, and all the women had nice relaxed hair. Only one, had huge, beautiful natural hair. That didn't help at all. I sooo wanted to call my old stylist up and give her the invite to apply the creamy crack. But, when I read these posts, I get slapped back into reality. Hang in there. I don't know what to tell you. I am as confused as you.

 

[Soliel185]

I couldn't see the pics before at work.. your hair looks long enough to do 2 french braids - I do that sometimes on weekend and dress it up with a scarf or something. If you don't like them by themselves, with practice you could get good enough to braid them flat enough to wear under a wig. Good Luck!

 

[RegaLady]

I'm into my sixth month as well - I'm taking it a day at a time - everytime i wash my hair and feel my newgrowth is a motivation for me -

how about braids? im thinking about getting some soon just to take the temptation away and im not very found of them on me

maybe change up your wig styles, because from what ive heard they are great for transitioning

I would LOVE to get braids, but it is expensive, and they pull my edges out.( I know you weren't talking to me, but I have asked myself these questions many times. LOL!)

 

[Christa438]

LOL @ your siggy video. makes me laugh everytime.

I understand...I kept having thoughts going back and forth between whether I wanted to go through with transitioning or just texlax again. BUT I have challenged myself to master growing and maintaining my natural hair so that's what Im going to do. I wear wigs 24-7 for now and will be wearing them until I think my hair looks right and Im satisfied with the length. for me, my wig doesnt make me feel hotter--it's hot to me regardless: I went outside with just a satin head wrap on the other day and it was like :heated: lol.............but I also think if you texlax you would still have a natural look and you would have less shrinkage.
Hope you find a great solution that works 4 u. HHG!

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I would LOVE to get braids, but it is expensive, and they pull my edges out.( I know you weren't talking to me, but I have asked myself these questions many times. LOL!)

Ditto. I thought about braids but my husband HATES braids (reminds him of his ex GF). He is also freaked out by wigs since they remind him of someone being scalped - even synthetic wigs.

 

[ImFree27]

just do the bc, its not that bad, you can have a cute fro, you have to realize you cant treat your natural hair the way you treat your relax hair and the two textures will be very difficult to style, I would just BC and wear it curly for the summer and if you think its too short just get some braids or a sew in, you will risk having less damage if you bc, because you have to detangle the natural and the relax hair differently...

 

[conskeeted]

I really was as indecisive as you until I saw NubianQT's fotki on Monday. Changed my focus. I WILL have a beautiful head full of natural tresses - but it took me a long time to get my hair to APL when I was permed - it'll take a long time to get it to SL Natural - and I just have to be consistent and patient. It's hard... but it's doable.

I'm doing my BC on Saturday and my hair right now looks EXACTLY how yours does in that pic you posted. I figured chopping off what's left of the relaxed hair will make me let go of the past... We are really in the same place. Hang on...!!! Be strong!!

 

[Platinum]

Thanks, Conskeeted and Shatarip. I not sure if I'm ready to BC. Everytime I think of BC'ing, I remember getting all my hair chopped off by the stylist for a jheri curl. (lying @$$ assured me that washing my hair in vinegar would "strip" my relaxer and I wouldn't have to cut my hair off for a curl. As soon as he completed the process *snip, snip*) I had to go back to school the following Monday looking like a boy. I've been scarred for life since then when it comes to BC's.erplexed

 

[sweetsuccess]

boy o boy. this is my kinda thread!! if anyone is indecisive?! it is MOI!!

my last relaxer was a home (motions) relaxer on january 11, 2008. i randomly decided to attempt transitioning to natural just because. for no specific reason at all. (well besides resulting with healthy hair)

transitioning with using heating tools wasnt too bad. but i came upon lhcf in late march and noticed all the damage im causing by all my heat processes i do each wash. n ever since ive tried my hardest to avoid using heat, is when my purpose for transition seemed less important. its a fReaKN hassle. i do not know how to tame my hair without heating tools. braidouts. rollersets. and styles of that sort dont do any justice for my THICK head of hair.

right now its not too hard because ive been in and out of 'sew in' protective styles. but inbetween sew ins .. im definitly allLLLL abt relaxing my hair. i can not manage it at all. and i question whether im ready to go back to the thick headed natural hair i had growing up...

is it bad to relax? like honestly.... ur hair can still be healthy while being relaxed right??

and as for texlaxing..... how is that healthy? ur still putting the chemicals of a relaxer in ur hair?!! maybe i should try texlaxing? i dunno.

ps. can anyone check out my fotki n let me know my hair type. im not quite sure. im assuming im 4a?

tia

 

[Platinum]

I really didn't have problems when I relaxed my hair in the past. My problem with breakage started when I went to a stylist for a sew-in last year. She suggested that I get a relaxer "right before' the install. I asked her if that was safe (I thought that would have been a big no-no). She assured me that this was okay and she "does this all of the time". I let her do it because as a 'professional', I thought she knew best. Six weeks later, I removed the sew-in,only to find my hair severely damaged, a huge bald spot in the crown, and my nape eaten away. So if I decide to relax again, I'll do it myself.

I'm not sure about texlaxing. I checked the texlaxing threads for info but I'm confused. Well... maybe not confused, I'm scared that my hair won't turn out as pretty as some of the texlax pics I've seen.

 

[lilsparkle825]

is it bad to relax? like honestly.... ur hair can still be healthy while being relaxed right??

and as for texlaxing..... how is that healthy? ur still putting the chemicals of a relaxer in ur hair?!! maybe i should try texlaxing? i dunno.

of course it can be...there are hundreds and hundreds of women on here with long/beautiful/HEALTHY relaxed or texlaxed hair.

 

[RegaLady]

I too didn't have bad problems when I relaxed. However, I kept my hair short, and trimmed. I rarely applied heat to it. I was very healthy. The only thing is that when it came down to a touch up, recently, my stylist would do the whole head, and my hair became over processed. This lead me to stretching, thus lead me to transitioning!

 

[BirdieGray]

I am definitely indecisive. Although I have said that I would never relax again, I am seriously considering it. Either that or texlaxing. I just can't decide which. I've never really had issues as far as scalp burn or anything like that with relaxers, so that's not really a concern for me. I really want to grow my natural hair, but I am tired of the knots and the shrinkage. Plus when/if I straighten my hair it never stays that way for more than 10 minutes. On one hand I feel like if I'm paitent and wait it out it will be okay once I acheive my desire length. On the other hand I wear wigs all the time because I'm not feeling the shrinkage, and I'm getting tired of it. I dunno...

 

[Platinum]

I decided to go back to relaxing last night but I fell asleep . Who knows, maybe I'll do it today unless I change my mind again.

 

[Napp]

i strongly do not advocate texurizing if you want to wear your hair curly. most texurizers either go bone straight after a while or cut it off and go natural. if they frequently texrurize though there is ALOT of trial & error and they cannot reach goals as quickly becase straight ends have to be cut if they wear it curly.

 

[Platinum]

Thanks Napp! That's why I decided that I would relax it. I don't know how my it will look after a texturizer. So if I want curls, I guess I can roller/rod set.

 

[Mook's hair]

Chile....I am in week 61 ( month 14) I am as indecisive as they come.

go look in this album
http://members.fotki.com/Liberate/about/
Her progress keeps me going lately.

If you decide to relax it That's cool...do what works for you.

 

[audacity.]

i think we are all indecisive. i am 18 mos in and i am STILL indecisive! it doesn't help that folx are crossing over left and right by either BCing or relaxing!

i agree with Whimsy, stick out the transition and retian some length. we all just really need to encourage each other. find a transition buddy. Lauren450 was mine when i first started (until she BCd) and now Mook is helping me and encouraging me along.

if you feel that it is causing more damage than good, i say either bc or relax.

hang in there, girl!

eta: the fotki that Mook suggested is AWESOME and VERY inspiring!

 

[KiSseS03]

I am soooo indecisive when it comes to natural or relaxed!

Since I was 16 I have gone back and forth between transitioning/relaxed/natural about 5 times. The shortest transition was five months when I gave up and relaxed, the longest was 13 months.

I detest, detest, detest transitioning, mainly because of the tangles, but my hair is doing well now from my 14 month stint fully natural, and I'm not willing to give up my length.