Well, I came to this thread to talk about the one time I went back to the relaxer and regretted it and went natural again, whacking off all my hair and have been natural ever since.
But, I am a 3c, and I really dislike when other textures are compared to my hair. 3-whatever doesn't automatically equate to ease, that's a tired myth. I had a fade for a while, and once my hair got to about neck length, I locked that mess up. i couldn't deal with the constant retwisting either. There was no WAY wash and goes were going to work with my hair and scalp.
It is possible to express your difficulties with your hair without comparing it to anyone else's.
It sounds like you have a lot on your plate, and I hope you find what's best for you. I think it's a matter of finding the right style that works for you, be it relaxed or natural. A style you can do yourself, perhaps, and not have to pay someone else a whole crapload of $$$ or time to have done. Feeling good in that style is important, too, and with natural hair, it can take a little bit of trial and error to find that perfect go-to style that you feel good in. Maybe you're just not in a place where you can spend time looking for your perfect feel-good go-to natural style to get you through the hump, and that's ok. That's why I went back to the relaxer when i did. It was easier to know what styles I felt good in when relaxed, because I was use to it, and I hadn't explored the natural realm yet, and didn't have the time to at the time and, I was in a mental place where I really needed to feel good in something.
Maybe you'll go back to being natural when you're ready, or maybe natural is not for you. I just know that I use to have long natural hair, long straightened hair (relaxed AND nonrelaxed-pressed) AND now i'm on my way to having long locs. Long hair is a lot of work to me, regardless. (I personally find locs to be a tad bit easier than the rest, though ,which is why I have locs now. ) Maybe one of those options will be a little easier on you than the others, and you'll never know until you go through the trial and error of finding what works best for you. I wish you the best.