Another hair tragedy...

[natasha]

This time its not me thank God but its a coworker at work. She had nice shoulder length hair for a long time and she used very light relaxers due to her soft hair texture (self styled for years). She went to a local beautician (very expensive/highly recommended) and told me afterwards that she thought he used a strong lye relaxer despite telling him that she did not use that type of relaxer. After this a few weeks later she mentioned in passing lots of hair breakage. She had a sew in a few weeks ago and recently she came to work with her hair down and I was shocked at the amount of breakage (I could totally relate considering my past hair disasters).

I don't know why it still shocks me to see such damage created by hair "professionals". Now I realize that there are wonderful true hair professionals that take great care of one's hair and they are interested in hair health. But for me I will never go back to a hair "professional" again. At most I will get a good cut once I achieve the length I desire.

For those of you who are diligently trying to grow your hair...it only takes one bad hair dressing experience to destroy months or years of work. Just f.y.i

I am also posting some update pictures of my hair. I have been exclusively taking care of my hair for the last 2 years and my hair has never been healthier or longer!

http://images28.fotki.com/v999/photos/1/178788/4462097/me-vi.jpg

This is my starting point 1 and 1/2 years ago.

http://public.fotki.com/nmeadows/2009/me004.html

http://images44.fotki.com/v1407/photos/1/178788/7167001/me082-th.jpg

http://images45.fotki.com/v1440/photos/1/178788/7167001/me095-th.jpg

These are updated pictures of me this month.

I will always believe that no one cares about you or your hair more than you will. I am so glad I do my own hair now.

 

[brittle_hair]

You have made so muh progress from your starting pic! What's your regime?

 

[MagnoliaBelle]

You've done very well. I am very suspicious of stylists. Thanks for the reminder to beware, and keep up the good work!

 

[supermodelsonya]

Oh wow your hair has really made a complete turnaround. I used to think going to stylists would make my hair look better but my hair has never been longer either since i've been taking care of it at home.

The only thing I see my stylist for is to get my sew ins done. And she is good because she never braids too tight and she lets me bring in my products.

What have you suggested for your friend?

 

[NuBraveHeart]

man, i know that story... i will never forgive 'ms. mary' for giving me my first perm ever. i've kinda let my mother off the hook at this point for taking me there. but man, beauticians have NEVER been worth the time (tell you your appointment is at 9am, they show up at 11am, and you leave the chair at 6pm), money ($40-$80 for a touch-up plus the visit charge, the 'long hair fee' braiders like to charge, having to fit them into the monthly budget for making your hair look banging for ONE day, but drying your hair out the rest of the month), frustration (cutting when you explicitly say 'trim', using a relaxer that is too strong for your hair, telling you what THEY think is best based on NOTHING) or the hair loss they bring (snatching knots out of your hair when you ask them to detangle from the bottom up, waiting to hear that sizzle sound when pressing your edges, bumping, then re-bumping, then re-bumping your ends with the hottest marcels available from the oven when the first bump didn't take the hold THEY wanted) in all my years.

i mean, i never tried to grow my hair really long until recently, but my hair has always been healthier since i quit going to them YEARS ago. you know you doin something right when a 4a/b head flat-ironed gets the "good hair" comments from fellow 4a/bers who don't know a thing about hair health (i still get shocked when i get that...).

i haven't been to a salon in over 10 years (minus 1 or 2 failed attempts to allow them redemption), but i can remember it all so well. i can't wait to be LONG and HEALTHY, you ain't gone be able to tell me nothin. ok, i'll shut up now.

 

[natasha]

You have made so muh progress from your starting pic! What's your regime?

My regimen is getting more kiss (keepin' it simple).

I use mizani/biolage/kenra/nexus emergence
relax every 8-12 weeks with mizani regular.

1. wash once weekly (unless I work out really hard then I will wash to remove the salt from my hair- can cause brittle hair/breakage). I clarify with kenra chelating clarifyer (removes both product and hard water mineral deposits) about one or twice monthly.
Then I protein treat with nexus emergence (I usually go under dryer and I do not use a plastic cap I just let it dry hard). Then I wash out and while I am showering I place moisturizing conditioner (kenra moisturizing conditioner) and wash out before I leave shower. My hair gets overmoisturized really easily so I never go under dryer with moisturizing conditioner unless I have protein also. Then I spray with biolage moisturizing leave in and their fortifying leave in and allow hair to air dry (I have stopped combing my hair wet). Once hair is mostly dry either I use large tooth comb to clear it out. I usually place in bun/scrunchy or something or I will flat iron and have a cute flip at the ends. (still learning styling techniques with flat iron- I use t3 wet or dry flat iron -steam- Its usually about 170 but I purchased one through price grabber for 70$).

2. I do not manipulate hair at all if I can help it. I just comb the front a little to create a clean/fresh look but otherwise I will sleep in bonnet at night and just finger comb or tough up front with comb in the mornings. I NEVER use a brush.

3. I stopped cutting hair and only dust ends if needed. Once I am bra strap length I will get a professional cut (through supercuts- hair will be freshly relaxed and flat ironed and they will just do a dry cut). Unfortunately with my experiences with hair professionals I have very little trust in allowing anyone to touch my hair. I have had months of hard work destroyed too many times.

4. Also I always protect my hair when I relax. I use a protein conditioner on ends usually and proceed with relaxer.

Thanks for the compliment!

 

[brittle_hair]

Unfortunately a lot of black hair dressers don't have a clue about hair health they only think about style, the worst ones are the ones that barely have any hair on their head themselves - those are the ones to stay away from!

I just bought the jilbere shower comb which is supposed to cause less breakage when combing wet hair, but if that doesn't work i might try your no combing when wet approach.

Thanks for posting your regimen!

 

[natasha]

Oh wow your hair has really made a complete turnaround. I used to think going to stylists would make my hair look better but my hair has never been longer either since i've been taking care of it at home.

The only thing I see my stylist for is to get my sew ins done. And she is good because she never braids too tight and she lets me bring in my products.

What have you suggested for your friend?

ITA since I will not be going back to a hair professional again. My hair has never been healthier and longer.

I recommend going back to what she did before and it worked great. She should relax her hair at home.

 

[natasha]

You've done very well. I am very suspicious of stylists. Thanks for the reminder to beware, and keep up the good work!

Thanks! I have had so many hair disasters (as per my previous posts) that it really breaks my heart to see another woman go through the frustration/despair of having to start all over again due to supposed professionals.

 

[natasha]

man, i know that story... i will never forgive 'ms. mary' for giving me my first perm ever. i've kinda let my mother off the hook at this point for taking me there. but man, beauticians have NEVER been worth the time (tell you your appointment is at 9am, they show up at 11am, and you leave the chair at 6pm), money ($40-$80 for a touch-up plus the visit charge, the 'long hair fee' braiders like to charge, having to fit them into the monthly budget for making your hair look banging for ONE day, but drying your hair out the rest of the month), frustration (cutting when you explicitly say 'trim', using a relaxer that is too strong for your hair, telling you what THEY think is best based on NOTHING) or the hair loss they bring (snatching knots out of your hair when you ask them to detangle from the bottom up, waiting to hear that sizzle sound when pressing your edges, bumping, then re-bumping, then re-bumping your ends with the hottest marcels available from the oven when the first bump didn't take the hold THEY wanted) in all my years.

i mean, i never tried to grow my hair really long until recently, but my hair has always been healthier since i quit going to them YEARS ago. you know you doin something right when a 4a/b head flat-ironed gets the "good hair" comments from fellow 4a/bers who don't know a thing about hair health (i still get shocked when i get that...).

i haven't been to a salon in over 10 years (minus 1 or 2 failed attempts to allow them redemption), but i can remember it all so well. i can't wait to be LONG and HEALTHY, you ain't gone be able to tell me nothin. ok, i'll shut up now.

lol I hear you! I also feel really strongly about this issue since I have had so many hair disasters (most of them from hair professionals) and paid good money for a head full of destroyed. hair. I will never go back to professionals either since I do my hair way better then they ever did. When I do a fresh relaxer/flat iron everyone thinks I have gone to the beautician anyway .

I can relate to all your stories because they have happened to me and to other ladies on this board time and time again!

 

[favorc]

Am sorry about your co-worker. I never past shoulder length when going to stylist. There are very few I think that actually know what their doing.

 

[GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I]

I will always believe that no one cares about you or your hair more than you will. I am so glad I do my own hair now.

True, and your growth is just awesome.

 

[natasha]

Am sorry about your co-worker. I never past shoulder length when going to stylist. There are very few I think that actually know what their doing.

ITA What really tics me off is that people pay their hard earned money for jacked up/broken/splitting and weak hair. I just hope that most women give doing their own hair a go. I think most will be pleasantly surprised!

 

[natasha]

True, and your growth is just awesome.

thank you!