Starting to rethink the natural thing

[Mattie26]

I did my BC in Nov 07. And two years later I still don't know what to do with my hair. I've invested in wigs and done kinky's and thinking about box braids. Bought the hair already. But right now I really want to wear twist and braidouts and so fare they all look a HAM. I've tryed the baggy method and a noo not cute when it dryed cause it has no defenition to it and it's dull. I use CAstor oil and Evoo mix, and I just started using BB castor oil moisterizer and I spray it with Africa's Best conditioner mixed with water. And still nothing works. I'm about two steps from slapping a relaxer in the birds nest and calling it a day. I try not to play with my hair and I know that it's not going to change over night but can I get one day that my own hair looks like something?
The reason that I went natural was because I have eczema in my scalp and relaxers where murder. But in a minute I'm just going to have to take the pain for a little while. I know I'm whinning but this is really starting to work my nerves for real. Help I went from 1/2 inches to 6 inches in two yrs not knowing what the heck I was doing. Right now I'm just frustrated and tired of the whole thing.

 

[djanae]

I just made a similar comment in another thread!

I'm actually loving my transition, and managing my new growth pretty well.
I'd just like to try to some more styles....and have them WORK! lol


I'm sure some of the other lady's can share some helpful advice...

I'm all ears too!

 

[tocktick]

Please clarify if your problem is with styles or if it's with moisture/dryness or both? A better question might be, what problems do you think will be resolved if you get a relaxer?

 

[back2relaxed]

Thanks for posting this thread. I JUST emailed my stylist to ask her what her thoughts were about me transitioning, because I know I'll need help. I was natural back in 06-07, and I ended up relaxing b/c I bc'd. This time around if I decide to do it I won't be bc'ing...but doing a long transition just trimming the ends. To me it would be a lot easier if you could bun, braidout or twist w/the length. I couldn't do anything but comb coils???!!! I would love someone to chime in and talk about the frustrating side of transitioning, because its not easy, and what do they do to get over the hump...

Also as far as your styling questions...everyone's natural hair texture is different, and all styles do not work on everyone's texture the same. I found that you just have to love what you have and find out what will compliment your personal texture the best...

Have you tried setting the hair on perm rods to give it some curl definition?

 

[Mattie26]

Please clarify if your problem is with styles or if it's with moisture/dryness or both? A better question might be, what problems do you think will be resolved if you get a relaxer?

I think that it's both the style just come out fuzzy with no real form. It might be the moisture. I just can't find a style that looks like a style if that makes any sense. I don't know it I need to wash more, co-wash or what I'm just lost and stressing myself out I guess.

 

[*Michelle*]

Sorry to hear you are frustrated! Don't do anything permanent out of frustration!

Do you mind sharing hair pix?

 

[Mattie26]

I tried to perm rods before and again fuzzy wuzzy. I guess I'm going to have to just experiment a little more with products I just don't want to mix some stuff up and wake up the next morning with my hair sitting on the end of the bed cussin me out.
I'll just leave the twist and braidouts to the pros.

 

[Neith]

You have 2 years of growth and you don't know what to do with it?

Stalk fotkis and youtube for styles!


I think all you need are some ideas and practice

 

[Mattie26]

I'll be a camera this weekend and posting pics

 

[zenith]

You have 2 years of growth and you don't know what to do with it?

Stalk fotkis and youtube for styles!


I think all you need are some ideas and practice

I know!! I have 3 months of growth and you should see me insisting on doing twists. when i have to go out i either afro it, or wear a wig or do small conrows.
it's may be tiring but i am not giving up on my hair. don't you give up on yours.

 

[tocktick]

I think that it's both the style just come out fuzzy with no real form. It might be the moisture. I just can't find a style that looks like a style if that makes any sense. I don't know it I need to wash more, co-wash or what I'm just lost and stressing myself out I guess.

What is your hair texture (type 4, type 3 etc)? What is your hair regimen?

Some general advice:

Sometimes there are styles that won't look the same or even 1/2 way the same as someone else's. Personally, I can't create those braidouts with the middle part that just hang perfectly. I have to create my own version. My point is that it takes trial and error to create styles that your hair can do and to create those styles well. Modify styles that you like so that they work well within your own texture, length etc.

As for the fuzziness and form, try using aloe vera gel or gel (like IC Fantasia) when doing twists, bantu knots, braids etc. So that when you unravel them, the pattern will be nicely defined. Please view the fotkis of those who have your hair type, look at the albums where they are around your length to see what they did.

If you have a problem with moisture, using more shampoo will not help. I'd suggest you try to use a very creamy conditioner and use something like castor oil or shea butter after washing. You can use a leave in before applying the oil or butter or even leave a little bit of that conditioner in your hair instead of washing it all out. Also, deep condition 1-2 times a week. If you're having scalp problems, stressing is the worst thing that you can do. It's easier said than done but it's best to stop it.

 

[lexiwiththecurls]

I would definitely suggest that you try different products. It takes time and I understand your frustration. I'm still going through that and I have been natural for 7 years. I am constantly trying new products to see which gives me the best twist outs or braids out. Its really trial and error. You should try some different products before you give up. Its all in the products and the method...you might want to change up your method a little bit to see what works. Maybe different sized twists/braids...flat twists/cornrows...I hope this helps.

 

[Ronnieaj]

I found that I really have to use gel when I do my twists, else they look like Fuzzy Wuzzy when they're out. If I'm going to do a twist out after I've had twists for a few days, I go on and retwist the hair so it'll be nice and smooth. I use Afroveda Shea Amla or Curly Custard cream topped with Ecostyler gel and that gives good hold, definition, and shine. There really is some trial and error involved, and what works for one won't work for another. Don't do anything drastic yet!!

 

[chosen07]

Sometimes there are styles that won't look the same or even 1/2 way the same as someone else's. I have to create my own version. My point is that it takes trial and error to create styles that your hair can do and to create those styles well. Modify styles that you like so that they work well within your own texture, length etc.

ditto this statement. not sure if moisture is at the root of the problem or the problem lies in your results not looking as you expected but I wanted to encourage you to approach your hair and its styles as unique and always new. my humble advice would be to learn to accept and fall in love with the results your hair gives you without comparing it against someone elses. I had to learn this...and it gets hard, looking at all the gorgeous heads of hair online and mine not looking like anything I see even after trying similar processes...that is frustrating by itself IMO

I do twist outs and they look like mine and I rock them. I have yet to find someone elses twistout that looks like mine- at first I found this discouraging but I realized that's cool and I'm still cute . Its my hair - what could I do?...what's funny is I have people asking- "how i get my hair to look like that" and most times they like it..but if they don't -oh well!

good luck. I wouldn't suggest the relaxer because of your scalp issues but if you can find a way around that (different relaxer, different technique of applying relaxers) then that's great! But at the end of the day- your health and happiness/comfort with your hair (and ultimately yourself) is key!

 

[honeisos]

ITA with Neith and her youtube remark . there is a wealth of info on there . you really have got to be proactive with natural hair . there is no way you can put some cream in it and have hair that looks like jill scott or joan from girlfriends or anyone else . you got to try out new things and tweek them untill you find what work for you .please try again , take your time , get to know your hair and love its uniqueness please post some pics so we can get a better idea of the problem and give the correct tips . dont worry it will work out !

 

[Soliel185]

YouTube was the final straw for me to chop last night. I love these two.

http://www.youtube.com/user/PRETTYDIMPLES01
http://www.youtube.com/user/kimmaytube

Look through the related vids or responses to find other naturals on YouTube that you might like.

For moisture what really works for me is Aloe Vera Juice/Gelly mixed with Glycerine and filtered water. Aloe is a protein, Glycerine is a humectant. Aloe makes my hair VERY shiny, but it's not a slick sticky shine - it sinks right into my hair.

If I want my hair to air dry shiny, it's best to constrain it somehow - like in braids or twists. The tension helps keep the cuticle flat, and that means it can reflect more light. Try tying a silk/satin scarf over it as it dries also.

Some other ingredients that could be helpful:

Baking Soda ( to cleanse, or soften)
Jojoba Oil
Coconut Oil
Coconut Milk

Some cheapy conditioners like VO5 moisture milks to use as leave-ins. I find that it left in wet hair, they can help with definition and frizz.

 

[mscocoface]

Mattie do a test and use either aloe vera gel or eco styling gel both are good unless you are sensitive to proteins then I would suggest the eco styling gel. The clear kind.

I have cotton hair, it won't define any which a way unless I keep it in braids on twists for at least 4 days or if I put aloe vera or eco styling gel in it. You don't need to saturate it but use enough when and twist out or braid out will hold.

Test this one day to see if it works for you. You can always wash it out. I am doing my own personal challenge this summer of not using any synthetic hair or half wigs. So I am doing braids putting them up on my head in different styles and then doing a braid out or twist out a day or two before I wash again.

I can't do the daily cowashing but I do make sure to saturate my braids every day with some type of spray and I am big into the oils this summer.

When I do my braids or twists I use something like Hairveda 24/7 or a conditioner and then add the aloe or eco gel. Try not to overload with the products.

You may be able to mix these products together in a small jar and use that mixture for your braids or twists, that way you won't need 50 11 bottles sitting next to you when you prepare to do your braids.

The next day after the braids or twists are dry take one down maybe in front and see how it does for a few hours. If you don't like the results braid or twist it back up, normally with these products within a day I usually have no problem.

 

[spritex]

Many of the ladies here have been helpful and chimed in with great suggestions. I can only add that I too have been down that route so I understand. Believe me if someone had told me 6 months ago that I would LOVE my hair now and how much progress it has made I would have slapped them,LOL! I was this close to getting a relaxer too. I had dryness, breakage, uneven lengths, no ideas about styling, etc. By following numerous fotkis, blogs, youtube videos and forums my knowledge increased and now my hair is doing great.
Ask yourself - what does my hair need? Is it dry? - Moisture. Remember that sulfates in many shampoos strip hair of moisture so think about quitting those and looking for sulfate free versions (eg Giovanni and many others). Keep in mind that silicones, heavy oils and butters can build up and will need removing - a tsp baking soda added to half a cup of conditioner should remove most build-up. You may also need to clarify your hair and start on a clean slate. You could try co-washing as it can boost moisture levels. Always deep condition - search the threads there are many recommendations. You can tweak with oils such as olive or coconut. Moisturize and seal daily. It is trial and error and you DO have to spend a little extra in trying stuff out - your efforts will pay off when your hair starts to respond.
Natural product lines that are great - Oyin Handmade, Qhemet Biologics, Hairveda, Giovanni. I prefer to err on the side of caution and stick wherever possible with products without mineral oil, silicones or sulfates. IMO it is worth spending a little extra to get happy hair.
Good luck.

 

[chebaby]

i think you need to first find the right products for your hair. maybe you should try karens body beautiful or something with a lot of coconut oil and shea butter in it. your hair maybe frizzy because you arent using the right products or you are doing too much manipulation. its hot now. try co washing daily with a moisturizing conditioner and then doing a wash and go with plenty or leave in and coconut oil. you can also wet bun. if you have been wearing weaves and braids alot then maybe you texture and curls havent had time to really form because they are always stretched into braids. just wash and go everyday and if it doesnt look right at first just wet bun. just remember leave in conditioner and oil.

 

[ladykaya]

They ladies are right. But one thing that helped me out a lot was going to a natural salon and just getting a new, nice, and low maintenance do. The place I went to was creative and also gave me advice on things I can do at home. When in doubt go see a professional and do some research. You are not alone.

 

[fyb87]

Mattie do a test and use either aloe vera gel or eco styling gel both are good unless you are sensitive to proteins then I would suggest the eco styling gel. The clear kind.

All of the Ecostyler Gels have Protein! I only know because I'm Protein Sensitive and I was on the another board where they were saying Sally's is having a sale. So I went to pick some up and low and behold there is Protein.

Is your hair dry and brittle or just dry?? If it's dry and brittle it could be a protein sensitivity issue and you need to read the ingredients on your products to determine. If it's just dry you probably just need more moisture. But, you can try this first so you don't have to buy all new products to see if this helps. I feel this should work on ANY hair type! I know people suggest leaving conditioner in the hair after taking a shower. But, I have a different approach.

Here's what you could do AFTER you have done a Deep Conditioning Treatment (do that first)!

1.) Once you've gotten out the shower section off your hair in either 2 or 4 parts

2.) In your hand squirt some conditioner and a few drops of oil (Castor oil is thicker than the coconut that I tried and eliminates frizz for me and gives me wonderful shine).

3.) Mix them in your hair and use either a denman brush or a comb to ensure all of the product is in that section of hair.

4.) Clip that section back up and do the rest of the sections.

5.) Once completed you can either do twists or braids.

6.) When doing either take some gel, pudding or leave-in cream and add it to the specific twist or braid you are about to do and twist or braid away.

7.) If your hair starts to dry then get out your spray bottle and re-wet.

8.) Follow step 6 until you have done your entire head.

9.) Once completed wrap a scarf around your hair (I keep a scarf on my hair unless I am leaving the house)

10.) Once the twists or braids have COMPLETELY dried start taking them down. I would say if you an let them dry overnight. This will aid in them setting and giving your hair some type of definition. But, do the following:

11.) Rub a drop of either a pommade, serum or oil on your finger tips on both hands and then take down the twist or braid. This will ensure they come out smooth and shiny with out any frizz. Do this with EVERY twist or braid.

12.) Once you have taken them all down put a little (not a lot) more pomade, serum or oil on your fingers and rub your scalp so you can get the parts out and they aren't all sectioned off.

Voila, you should have hair you love. If you don't dammit let me know!!

I followed this method with my last Cassia/Henna Treatment last week-end and I had the BEST hair ever. I don't normally go out but I did just so I could show off my hair. I have pics in my fotki. It's under the July Henna/Cassia Treatment Folder!

Good luck

 

[Mattie26]

Thank you to all of you for your advice and encouragement I can't spell worth a quarter. Everyone keeps talking about coconut oil but I was wondering is there anything else that I can use because I have allergies and that and egg are not a sistas friend. Bad things happen. Tried the egg in the conditioner last month and ohhh the itching and the burning was not fun. I forgot to mention that I'm a 4a with NL working my way to shoulder by Dec 09. I have been on Youtube but everytime I try something like what PrettyDimples does with her twists or BlackOnyx it comes out looking crazy to me . But your all so right when you say that what works for some might not work for others. I just feel like I'm odd or something because my hair just wants to go left when I see all these gorgeous heads of hair going right. I'm going to keep picking away at it and try to find a truce with my hair. If nothing else I have a ton of fake hair and wigs to last me the rest of the year. I just want to wear my own hair I really want to love it and it love me back.

 

[Mattie26]

All of the Ecostyler Gels have Protein! I only know because I'm Protein Sensitive and I was on the another board where they were saying Sally's is having a sale. So I went to pick some up and low and behold there is Protein.

Is your hair dry and brittle or just dry?? If it's dry and brittle it could be a protein sensitivity issue and you need to read the ingredients on your products to determine. If it's just dry you probably just need more moisture. But, you can try this first so you don't have to buy all new products to see if this helps. I feel this should work on ANY hair type! I know people suggest leaving conditioner in the hair after taking a shower. But, I have a different approach.

Here's what you could do AFTER you have done a Deep Conditioning Treatment (do that first)!

1.) Once you've gotten out the shower section off your hair in either 2 or 4 parts

2.) In your hand squirt some conditioner and a few drops of oil (Castor oil is thicker than the coconut that I tried and eliminates frizz for me and gives me wonderful shine).

3.) Mix them in your hair and use either a denman brush or a comb to ensure all of the product is in that section of hair.

4.) Clip that section back up and do the rest of the sections.

5.) Once completed you can either do twists or braids.

6.) When doing either take some gel, pudding or leave-in cream and add it to the specific twist or braid you are about to do and twist or braid away.

7.) If your hair starts to dry then get out your spray bottle and re-wet.

8.) Follow step 6 until you have done your entire head.

9.) Once completed wrap a scarf around your hair (I keep a scarf on my hair unless I am leaving the house)

10.) Once the twists or braids have COMPLETELY dried start taking them down. I would say if you an let them dry overnight. This will aid in them setting and giving your hair some type of definition. But, do the following:

11.) Rub a drop of either a pommade, serum or oil on your finger tips on both hands and then take down the twist or braid. This will ensure they come out smooth and shiny with out any frizz. Do this with EVERY twist or braid.

12.) Once you have taken them all down put a little (not a lot) more pomade, serum or oil on your fingers and rub your scalp so you can get the parts out and they aren't all sectioned off.

Voila, you should have hair you love. If you don't dammit let me know!!

I followed this method with my last Cassia/Henna Treatment last week-end and I had the BEST hair ever. I don't normally go out but I did just so I could show off my hair. I have pics in my fotki. It's under the July Henna/Cassia Treatment Folder!

Good luck

Oh I am so trying this on Saturday. My wash day and this sounds so good and easy. I can't wait.

 

[gradygirl]

I know exactly how you feel. The month of June was pure frustration for me. My hair looked a mess no matter how many styles I tried. The only ones that looked decent were the same ones my 12 year old neice was sporting so I was not comfortable being a 36 year old woman wearing a little girls hairdo. I even considered relaxing bone straight but in the end I knew that a relaxer and my sensitive scalp were not a good combination. The first week of July I clarified my hair and did a good long conditioner treatment followed by flat ironing and trimming my hair. So far I have been wearing my flat ironed hair in a bantu knot out and buns and by keeping my hair straight I have not had to worry about what to do with my hair so much. I know using heat is not for everyone but it is another alternative to use. I agree with the other ladies that there is so much information out there. Before I flat ironed my hair I sent a message to a natural lady that wears her hair pressed alot for advice and she was very helpful so if you see a beautiful head of hair on fotki don't hesitate to shoot them a message and ask questions because most of them are more than willing to help.

 

[fyb87]

Oh I am so trying this on Saturday. My wash day and this sounds so good and easy. I can't wait.

You'll have to let me know your results!!

 

[Eluv]

You have 2 years of growth and you don't know what to do with it?

Stalk fotkis and youtube for styles!


I think all you need are some ideas and practice

I agree.

But girl I feel your pain, at least before I found youtube.

I would be relaxed right now, if my husband had not talked me out of it about 10 months ago.

 

[Mystic]

Awww, I feel your pain and totally understand because I can relate. Have you tried BKT? If that doesn't work, do what is best for your state of mind.

I did my BC in Nov 07. And two years later I still don't know what to do with my hair. I've invested in wigs and done kinky's and thinking about box braids. Bought the hair already. But right now I really want to wear twist and braidouts and so fare they all look a HAM. I've tryed the baggy method and a noo not cute when it dryed cause it has no defenition to it and it's dull. I use CAstor oil and Evoo mix, and I just started using BB castor oil moisterizer and I spray it with Africa's Best conditioner mixed with water. And still nothing works. I'm about two steps from slapping a relaxer in the birds nest and calling it a day. I try not to play with my hair and I know that it's not going to change over night but can I get one day that my own hair looks like something?
The reason that I went natural was because I have eczema in my scalp and relaxers where murder. But in a minute I'm just going to have to take the pain for a little while. I know I'm whinning but this is really starting to work my nerves for real. Help I went from 1/2 inches to 6 inches in two yrs not knowing what the heck I was doing. Right now I'm just frustrated and tired of the whole thing.

 

[Mystic]

ITA to everything to you say.

Here are 3 conditioners that works extremely well on dry hair. Redken works best!

1)[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]Redken All Soft Conditioner
2)[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]Clairol Herbal Essences Replenishing Conditioner
3)[FONT=&quot] [/FONT]Garnier Fructis Instant Melting Conditioner

What is your hair texture (type 4, type 3 etc)? What is your hair regimen?

Some general advice:

Sometimes there are styles that won't look the same or even 1/2 way the same as someone else's. Personally, I can't create those braidouts with the middle part that just hang perfectly. I have to create my own version. My point is that it takes trial and error to create styles that your hair can do and to create those styles well. Modify styles that you like so that they work well within your own texture, length etc.

As for the fuzziness and form, try using aloe vera gel or gel (like IC Fantasia) when doing twists, bantu knots, braids etc. So that when you unravel them, the pattern will be nicely defined. Please view the fotkis of those who have your hair type, look at the albums where they are around your length to see what they did.

If you have a problem with moisture, using more shampoo will not help. I'd suggest you try to use a very creamy conditioner and use something like castor oil or shea butter after washing. You can use a leave in before applying the oil or butter or even leave a little bit of that conditioner in your hair instead of washing it all out. Also, deep condition 1-2 times a week. If you're having scalp problems, stressing is the worst thing that you can do. It's easier said than done but it's best to stop it.

 

[Deszdamona]

All of the Ecostyler Gels have Protein! I only know because I'm Protein Sensitive and I was on the another board where they were saying Sally's is having a sale. So I went to pick some up and low and behold there is Protein.

Is your hair dry and brittle or just dry?? If it's dry and brittle it could be a protein sensitivity issue and you need to read the ingredients on your products to determine. If it's just dry you probably just need more moisture. But, you can try this first so you don't have to buy all new products to see if this helps. I feel this should work on ANY hair type! I know people suggest leaving conditioner in the hair after taking a shower. But, I have a different approach.

Here's what you could do AFTER you have done a Deep Conditioning Treatment (do that first)!

1.) Once you've gotten out the shower section off your hair in either 2 or 4 parts

2.) In your hand squirt some conditioner and a few drops of oil (Castor oil is thicker than the coconut that I tried and eliminates frizz for me and gives me wonderful shine).

3.) Mix them in your hair and use either a denman brush or a comb to ensure all of the product is in that section of hair.

4.) Clip that section back up and do the rest of the sections.

5.) Once completed you can either do twists or braids.

6.) When doing either take some gel, pudding or leave-in cream and add it to the specific twist or braid you are about to do and twist or braid away.

7.) If your hair starts to dry then get out your spray bottle and re-wet.

8.) Follow step 6 until you have done your entire head.

9.) Once completed wrap a scarf around your hair (I keep a scarf on my hair unless I am leaving the house)

10.) Once the twists or braids have COMPLETELY dried start taking them down. I would say if you an let them dry overnight. This will aid in them setting and giving your hair some type of definition. But, do the following:

11.) Rub a drop of either a pommade, serum or oil on your finger tips on both hands and then take down the twist or braid. This will ensure they come out smooth and shiny with out any frizz. Do this with EVERY twist or braid.

12.) Once you have taken them all down put a little (not a lot) more pomade, serum or oil on your fingers and rub your scalp so you can get the parts out and they aren't all sectioned off.

Voila, you should have hair you love. If you don't dammit let me know!!

I followed this method with my last Cassia/Henna Treatment last week-end and I had the BEST hair ever. I don't normally go out but I did just so I could show off my hair. I have pics in my fotki. It's under the July Henna/Cassia Treatment Folder!

Good luck

Just beautiful--now that's showing someone what to do. Thanks for this cuz I'm newly natural and having moisture issues~ Very helpful!

 

[honeisos]

Mattie dont worry , you will find what works for you . keep trying new things . i have been natural for 5 years this year and it was not until 08 did i find my hg routine , lol . i would not say i was hating my hair the whole time but we did have a few fights lol. just keep swimming