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The art of holding your tongue...

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HappilyLiberal

HappilyLiberal

Well-Known Member
I have been on my HHJ for about 3 years now. Last summer I started using phony buns as a protective style and stretching my relaxers a minimum of 13 weeks. This is finally starting to pay off because my hair hasn't been this long for a number of years and it hasn't been this thick and healthy for nearly 20 years.

Anyway, I have worn my hair down at work about 3 times TOTAL. I have a colleague who keeps commenting that (a) the buns are too old looking, (b) my hair isn't going to grow if I keep it in a bun, (c) my hair is going to break off if I keep it in a bun, etc.... you get the picture.

It is taking all of my self-control not to tell her **** get a mirror! Her hair is thin, greasy looking, and breaking off in several places (mostly the temples and the nape area). And, I am supposed to take hair care advice from her?!:wallbash: I have been biting my tongue because other than this issue, we get along really well (she's actually hilarious). But really, can't she look in a mirror and she the obvious difference in the health of our hair.
 
Ignore her. She may be a bit jealous because your hair has changed and is showing progress. Females can be catty.
 
I guess she doesn't see the difference. I'd just ignore her comments and try not to take it too personally. Most folks on hairboards tend to be too uptight about hair comments.

Just tell her that you've got it covered! LOL
 
I had a person once tell me I needed to get my weave professionally done. This was coming from a person that had a weave that looked like tumble weed in the back, a big matted bush. I didn't say anything, wasn't worth it, but inside I just smiled to myself.

You know what you're doing, so don't even waste your time on her. Having your healthy hair down your back will speak volumes.
 
Yes, hold your peace.

ITA with letting your hair speak for itself... that carries more weight than her opinions.
 
I say hold your tongue, Or maybe ask her what she does to her hair and then proceed to school her...see if she bites or drops it. If she bites, then you have a hair buddy :)

Also, anything you say to "set her straight", seeing as you have the upper hand, may sound concieted.
 
This sounds like another case of someone wanting to take a speck out of your eye when they have a plank in theirs. I've read so many of these stories on LHCF as well, I dunno if it's jealousy or delusion on their part or what. Oh well, there's nothing you can do but keep doing your thing, hopefully she will shut up soon enough :yep:
 
As others have said, "showing" the results of YOUR methods, is a much more appropriate means for "checking" her comments. Arguing with a foolish woman (as her comments show her to be in this regard, however jovial and humorous she may be in general) is only likely to make you look less intelligent than she.

It is foolish to offer (I'm assuming) unwarranted advice, when you are a poor example of what you are advising another about.

That would be like a woman who is terribly unkempt, who doesn't know the difference between jeans and khakis, telling an impeccably-styled woman she "doesn't understand fashion".

You show strength in character and great class in holding your tongue, in this instance.
 
Next time she tells you your hair is going to break off if you keep it in a bun, you should ask her if that's what happened to her hair.
 
Nicely tell her the truth. As long as you tolerate her comments she will give them. I never have these type of issues with people because I set the standard from the get go.
 
I say wait till next time you wear your hair down, then show her. When she says something bad (and I feel she will), ask her what she does to her hair. While she is talking, pretend you are listening intently and fling your hair a little. When she is done, just pause, look at her hair, maybe look up in her scalp (eyes only, of course) as if you are weave checking her, and say "oh", then walk away. One more fling for emphasis.

I bet that bun will start looking mighty good to her after that.
 
You can show her better than you can tell her! :yep:

Keep biting. Soon she will be beggging for you to spill it.
 
mj11051 said:
Sack of quarters, cause she needs a good bop:lachen::lachen:
Click to expand...

^^ lmao at that

*CherryPie* said:
I guess she doesn't see the difference. I'd just ignore her comments and try not to take it too personally. Most folks on hairboards tend to be too uptight about hair comments.

Just tell her that you've got it covered! LOL
Click to expand...


^^^^ That x 10


I have learned to just pick my battles...sometimes it is just not worth arguing with folks....Because if they have an opinion it becomes fact in their mind...I learned this best just from being on several forums....Some people just feel strongly about things and everyone else's opinion becomes a battle of words that at the end of the day "who cares".....Keep doing what you do and literally blow her off...If it is not a battle that is worth your while and that you will gain anything in the end from...Keep it moving....some people just always have to have something to say and have the last word....Because they speak louder or type longer they feel they are making a point vs an *** of themselves.
 
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HappilyLiberal said:
It is taking all of my self-control not to tell her **** get a mirror! Her hair is thin, greasy looking, and breaking off in several places (mostly the temples and the nape area). And, I am supposed to take hair care advice from her?!:wallbash: I have been biting my tongue because other than this issue, we get along really well (she's actually hilarious). But really, can't she look in a mirror and she the obvious difference in the health of our hair.
Click to expand...

But it is always these type of raggedy-ended-haired chicks who have something to say about others....put her in her place one time and you'll be good.
 
beans4reezy said:
But it is always these type of raggedy-ended-haired chicks who have something to say about others....put her in her place one time and you'll be good.
Click to expand...

Too true--if I had a dollar for every time one of them said "if I had your hair I would blah blah blah" :rolleyes:.
 
When she starts telling you buns are bad ask her what she suggests you do to your hair. It might be worth it for a good laugh. :look:
 
Some people have weird ways of trying to disguise their jealousy.

Take it with a grain of salt
 
Danell said:
When she starts telling you buns are bad ask her what she suggests you do to your hair. It might be worth it for a good laugh. :look:
Click to expand...

Been there done that!

She thinks I should wrap my hair every night and wear it down every day.
 
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I would politely set her straight. It depends on how i vibe with the person. My ex-friend always would tell me what she would do if she had hair like mine and that i need to stop putting it in a bun.

Mind u....all the years i've ever known this chick i only saw her real hair once...and that was the last week we talked while i was taking down her sew-in...which in itself was funny bc i knew nothing about weave or how to take it out and she kept complaining about how long i was taking:rolleyes:

Anyway....that day she complained about my hair being in a bun...i had had enough of her dumb comments about my hair so i said....DO YOU KNOW WHY I KEEP IT IN A BUN?!?!?

Her::look:...why?

Me: BECAUSE IT HELPS IT GROW!!!!! :whyme:

I was always trying to help her with her hair when she would ask me what to do but then complain bc my hair is long and beautiful....wtf???!!


But i find most women irl are all about style more than health of their hair.
 
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