Am I Cheating...

[Sade']

My suggestion: Start embracing the fact that you have afro-textured hair, that the edges wont be completely slick, and that its perfectly fine and beautiful to have coarse/curly/kinky edges.

And carry a brush with you for touch ups.

And that's what I need to do honestly.

 

[LushLox]

I can't imagine how it would look, might look nice and first but then you've got straight edges but the rest not. You might be making more of a headache for yourself really.

 

[loolalooh]

Eco Styler is the business!!! Super nappy natural speaking here.

 

[apollo]

Jane Carter nourish and shine lays down my edges really good!

 

[tocktick]

*shrug* You shouldn't leave it to others to ascertain whether you're "cheating" or not. If you are mentally fine with relaxing your edges then do you as you will.

If it's simply advice as to whether this is a good idea or not, my opinion is that it is not. I can understand if your edges do not lay down at all because mine do not either - it's not a case of using gel or whatever, my hair just doesn't slick back like that. However, I consider the texture of my edges normal and acceptable. I do not have straight hair that lays down smooth or a type of curly texture that does that. I accept my hair for what it will and won't do. I know there may be people who state they love their natural hair but think fuzzy edges messes up a 'do, so they feel it's not an issue of not accepting their texture. In that instance, my opinion is still that I do not think relaxing is the best option. Imo, you will probably ultimately create more problems than you solve.

The textures may not blend and that area may get weaker. What if you do X for your natural but your relaxed edges can't handle it? Two different regimens because of that possibility? .

Maybe you're not like me in that you haven't explored using a heavy gel, water or pomade, using a scarf etc. I would then suggest you do those things first. Ultimately though, if you have all the facts and possibilities laid out for you then do you.

 

[Diva_Esq]

I'd do wet edges with Garnier Fructis wax and a silk scarf! Good luck!

 

[Ladylu]

Girl i am going thru the same thing....I just posted a similar question about this...let me know what you decide to do. I only want to relax about an inch up my neck line in the back....that hair is only about 2 inches long....so when I use the wax to lay it down...it just curls right up and stick out like MAD HAIR! This would not me that much of a problem, but I wear my hair up 90% of the time.

 

[I Am So Blessed]

im texlaxed and my edges are never slick becuae i dont giva hoot lol. they can stick up, stick out, shake it all about, i doessntt cuuurrr

 

[sharifeh]

It's only cheating if you and you're natural hair are in a monogamous relationship. If you all have an open relationship then go for it. But don't get mad if your natural hair breaks up with your relaxed hair at the line of demarcation!!!

 

[Solitude]

OP, are you thinking about relaxing straight or just texlaxing??? Because I know that once I underprocessed my hair using Phyto Index 1. You couldn't tell my texlaxed hair from the new growth that grew in after that, really. The texlaxed hair was just softer, less fuzzy little waves and kinks.

I eventually got a corrective, but honestly if you only leave the chemical on for a few minutes and don't smooth, it will soften, not straighten and your edges will be a little easier to smooth without being straight.

 

[Guitarhero]

UGH!!! I wanted you guys to say "yeah go for it" SO BAD. I have tried that Lustrasilk Slick Stick (it's like wax), Hairveda Pur Whipped Gel, Eco-Style Gel, Castor Oil, S-Curl Texturizer Gel and laid my scarf on immediately. By mid morning, my rough edges are crawling back up looking crazy. Any other suggestions please?

Go for it. What about temporary straighteners like balms?

 

[Miss AJ]

dang, even Eco didnt work? Try grease and water to lay it down, and finish it off with some holding spritz. In basic training I had to use gel AND spritz to make my bun sleek, but I didn't mind because I was washing my hair every other day, sometimes every day so I don't think it even had time to do any damage as far as drying it out.

 

[BrandNew]

That doesn't sound like a good idea to me.

 

[ThickHair]

Why not just relax all of your hair? IMHO you can't stradle the fence in this instance.

 

[Janet']

This may not be popular, but the only thing that really works on my head is water, aloe vera gel, and Let's Jam Extra Hold Gel...I put it on, put on a scarf for 10-15 minutes and I'm good to go...

 

[purplepeace79]

I support $1.49 Black gel!!!
Yup.
Get you some warm water, a boars hair brush (a strong one), some black gel, and a scarf.

 

[SUPER SWEET]

I know this take work but for sleek buns I do this.... I actually flat iron with sabino moisture block and use Liz and Daughters just like perm to slickdown my edges. My hair stays straight for 2 weeks if I let it.

 

[brittanynic16]

I think if you texlax it would be fine.

 

[CheLala13]

I'm finding it difficult to believe that you absolutely cannot lay down your edges. What exactly are you doing?

 

[DeepBluSea]

I don't think the "cheating" is an issue. I just don't see how this would look right. Don't let folks have you looking like a fool. I have heard of people wearing weaves doing this, but not naturals trying to wear a puff or bun, etc. I would need to see a pitcha cuz that sounds like a recipe for disastuh (as Beyonce says lol).

 

[Miss AJ]

I don't think the "cheating" is an issue. I just don't see how this would look right. Don't let folks have you looking like a fool. I have heard of people wearing weaves doing this, but not naturals trying to wear a puff or bun, etc. I would need to see a pitcha cuz that sounds like a recipe for disastuh (as Beyonce says lol).

Right, cuz you won't be able to just relax your edges...after a while your whole top layer will be relaxed and the rest will be a fro....not a good look.

 

[Soliel185]

I don't really have an opinion on whether it's "cheating" or not..I just find it really REALLY hard to believe that it's even necessary..erplexed

If MY edges lay down (see avi) than I have the uptmost confidence in the whole rest of the planet.

Maybe you'll have to wear decorative scarves/head bands until your edges get a bit more length.

 

[NIN4eva]

Right, cuz you won't be able to just relax your edges...after a while your whole top layer will be relaxed and the rest will be a fro....not a good look.

This is what happened when I tried it when natural a few years ago. I kept straightening the edges (although less frequently) and I wound up with some kind of funky halo effect that just didn't make much sense; so I had to just go ahead and relax my whole head.

Now I use Hicks and it works very well. But I have resigned myself to the fact that nothing will ever keep them laying down smooth all day. It's just not going to happen. Also in my experience keeping them super-moist is perhaps the most important. If your ends are even the least bit dry they will never lay down. It doesn't matter what you slather on.

 

[beans4reezy]

These threads always make me wonder...are smooth edges really that serious that you would chemically alter your hairline when the rest of your head is natural? Even before I started my hhj, the idea of relaxing your edges never made much sense to me. Just MHO.

 

[Kash]

I don't think the "cheating" is an issue. I just don't see how this would look right. Don't let folks have you looking like a fool. I have heard of people wearing weaves doing this, but not naturals trying to wear a puff or bun, etc. I would need to see a pitcha cuz that sounds like a recipe for disastuh (as Beyonce says lol).

^^^

 

[carib_n_curly]

i don't think it would look right
when you start to get NG then what.? i don't know what to say about "cheating" i'm more concerned about how it will look and breakage trying to deal with relaxed edges and mainly natural hair

you just have to find the right product and technique. i've seen examples of every natural texture that managed to get their edges to lay down.

i'm not to bothered about mine being neat. i usually use conditioner and water to slick my hair back and works well enough. my hair will never lay down like relaxed hair or straight hair but i get it neat enough

i've heard great things about eco styler.

 

[Lisa]

On my natural hair if I relax my edges? I just want a smoother looking bun. I don't mind the rest of my hair being coarse I just like smooth edges. NOTHING and I do mean NOTHING lays my edges down.

Thank You! Thank You! Thank You, Sade!! I was just thinking about this today. I really haven't tried anything to lay my edges down (except the curling iron...I guess that's why they are so thin) but now I have a few things to try before I relax.

This is exactly what happens. I plan to go natural then I decide...well maybe I will just touch up the edges but I end up doing my whole head!! I'm 12 weeks post so I'm going to try:

Murray's
Let's Jam (I think this is the black gel people were referring to, if not please let me know)
Garnier Fructis Wax
Eco
water aloe vera gel and Let's Jam
Hicks
Liz and Daughters (I'm not sure where to find this? anyone have a website?)

Have I forgotten anything before I go back to the creamy crack? (I'm willing to try multiple things before...well you know)

Thanks Sade for asking the question and thanks everyone else for your responses!!

 

[Miss AJ]

I myself am guilty of this but why do ppl always run back to the relaxer instead of WORKING with their hair? I will admit, I was thinking of texlaxing in the future just so I can have smooth buns but there are other ways, you can braid or twist the front, have one braid going across the front, section off a piece in the front and make a lil ponytail so its easier to smooth the sides...i mean why take the easy way out...natural hair CANNOT be that difficult, many ppl have gone their entire lives without chemically altering their naps.

 

[drappedup]

I have the SAME problem. Nothing can completely lie down my roots.....they're just so frizzy and stubborn! I have tried all sorts of gels and balms and waxes. The only one which has come close is the Bed Head Wax Stick, but even that didn't really do it.....and for the price.....no thanks. I always want to buy a new wax or gel, etc. whenever I see a new one is out from a new brand (that I haven't tried), but I am always hesitant because it's always been a waste of money.

 

[drappedup]

These threads always make me wonder...are smooth edges really that serious that you would chemically alter your hairline when the rest of your head is natural? Even before I started my hhj, the idea of relaxing your edges never made much sense to me. Just MHO.

Personally, I like smoother lines better, even as a lover of curly hair. It just looks neater. There's nothing wrong with that preference (or yours!) Not to mention, for me, there are regs on how I'm allowed to have my hair at work, and so it has to look semi-professional and tamed, and so it's pretty important for my overall hair bun/updo.